Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
You may find that mature LDS women are not the girls you met when you returned from your mission. Try reading some of the women posting at this site. My DH and I were in our late 40’s When we were married in the Temple. We are both members of Stay LDS and have had periods of inactivity. I offered to have a fish fry wedding at the lake and use the beer keg for the minister to stand behind. We had gone to a fish fry at the lake on one of our first dates. We went to the Temple because we knew that marriage was the hardest thing we would ever do. It didn’t seem worth the effort for only 20 or 30 years but for “all eternity” it might be worth the effort. When DH was asked how the marriage was; he replied “Divorce no murder probably.” It is hard but more worth it every day.
The sex drive problem was eased by living far enough from each other the there was much less temptation than if we lived in the same area.
Setting boundaries and developing negotiation skills should help.
Quote:Personally, I think a lot of the anti-Mormon hate and bitter feelings of ex-Mormons toward the Church are to some extent due to the intolerant and self-righteous attitude of more than a few members as well as what many consider to be deliberate deception and lies by Church leaders. I don’t agree with this kind of negative reaction myself but I think a more realistic and understanding attitude on the part of Church members towards people with different beliefs would go a long way towards improving the way people perceive the LDS Church in general.
May I point out that in most cases the actions of a few are reflected as a policy of the church.Ray said:
Quote:The emotional and spiritual energy we broadcast out into the universe around us, it comes back to us. We also paint in the colors in the world around us with this energy. People who are angry find a world full of enemies to fight. People who fear find danger all around them. On the bright side though, people who love find beauty and friends everywhere they go.
I think that all the answer have been full of great advice.I do feel the need to add a word of caution.
Cults; as they destroy the lives of those who interact with them,are a serious danger that should be avoided. (run like —-) I usually don’t even give them energy by speaking about them. These are the bad guys not the folks that wear funny hats or have strange clothes. The boy scouts can be consider a cult “by some generic “cult checklists” There are groups that try to destroy or torture both the body and the soul. By their fruits you shall know them. The church is a favorite target of these groups.
Unless you have a strong preference,you might try this. I just don’t see how i have the time for 3 callings and do a good job of all of them. Why don’t you choose; would you rather get a new Sec., a new Sharing time person, or have all the jobs done badly. There are Leaders that never consider what it takes to do what they ask. This is not trying to avoid saying NO!!!!!!, but asking them to look at what they are asking. Some times they are just fishing. One Sunday (I had just been released from a calling after several years) 4 leaders came to me and told me that the Lord had called me to serve in a specific calling for them. I decided it would be kinder to say no then accuse them of not listening. Sorry about the personal story. It is great to say no both for yourself and the person who is making the request. The earth will not open up and swallow you whole.
KK
You did a wonderful job of describing one of the biggest tragedy in the church. It sounds like you are one of those folks that are dragged to the temple with out any information either for the temple or marriage. They are a number of very caring people that will soon be here to comfort. I’m so angry about the needless suffering you have had to endure. I am a fixer not a comforter I am a fixer and there are some people in your past that need fixing. In reality the only thing that any of us can fix is ourselves. You may find it helpful to talk to your Dr. there may well be medical reasons for your anxiety and depression. The next thing is to find a good counselor and/or group to work with. There is one thing I would like to say about the Temple. Sorry to be so vague. There are blessings there not only for forgiveness of the sins we may have commited but blessings to free us from the sins commited against us. My love and prayers be with you may you find peace.
KK
My non-LDS mother told me that when someone wanted to tell me how to live my life; I should thank for their willingness to help, and hand them some bills to pay. If they payed the bills then I should take their advise. A nice LDS granny suggested that the people who sign my temple recommend are the ones to be concerned about. She then reminded that my name came first on the recommend. I love feisty LOL’s (little old lady’s) You might want to apply some of their advice. I know this goes against what you have been taught but try it. The worst thing that can happen is that no one ask why you are not at church. Different people learn best in different ways. In education that means ” individual modality. We often read or listen from the context of our need Taught by the spirit is the most accurate way to learn. Now if we could use that in our schools. Education would so much more affective. Thanks from that Gem of knowledge. I will treasure it in my heart.
KK
I have a suggestion; lets just not have 5th Sunday lessons. I came out of Church today ready to kill. Our bishops lesson was different. He told us what the wards goals goals to be it was all worked out in % and decimals. My husband an I should convert 3.2 friends this year. How do you get .2 % of someone and have them still be your friend. I have a meeting with the Bishop to discuss this on Wednesday. My vote on the Muzzle question is, many people need one. I had a teacher teach that if you drank Coke you couldn’t go to the temple. There were several of us eager to tell her that they sold Coke (decaf) in the temple vending machines. I have also noticed that with a little work you can present some interesting concepts from the Standard Works.
Sorry to vent about something other than Muzzles but I feel much better.
Thank You
KK
I remember the time I became fearful of the things I had always enjoyed. I feared my fears would effect my performance at work. Sure enough at the end of the school year I was called into the Principal’s office and told to get get myself together over the summer or else. The long and short of it was that I had gone into menopause and needed to have some hormones regulated. that was not the end of my problems but, it gave me the courage to look honesty at several issues. I needed some professional help as well. I know it sounds rather pedantic but any time one seems to be having major emotional changes in attitude that don’t end in a reasonable amount of time a Physical Exam is in order.
This will not make your fears go away but with time you will understand the causes and what you need to do. If you are comfortable asking for a blessing, it may prove helpful as well.
I hope this of some help. I certainly offer my support these things can be tough. Sorry about the run-on sentences.
K K
If you wan’t to see Co-Dependence,Just look at your average R S Pres. I R’ One. My therapist once called me “The great _ _ _ in the sky” She also told me that I had to stop being that way but not till i had helped her with a few things. Sorry for the bad jokes. They are just a way of making my own problems seem not quite as scary. there are many groups of people including LDS who have these problems.
any kind of care-giver Nurses, Teachers, Counselors, Mothers and Fathers
I am glad for this thread, I hope it will help me do some more work on this issue. As I understand helping is ok but expecting specific responses is not. Does that sound right???
Love the quote from Monson. Could have used it twice allready this year. We love Lewis too. Thanks for posting
I don”t know enough about the process of brainwashing to speculate on its’ use. but I did have a recent experience that made me think I may have experienced some. DH and I went to special Christmas Services at another Church.( None being available outside of Utah esp the Conference Center).
I wore pants. I knew most of their female members did, It was cold, and I had good reason to know the old building would be drafty. I was right on all accounts. I can not tell you how comfortable I felt . I think it actually increased my ability to recognize and enjoy the message. Of course it was only a few minutes till I started to worry that I might give up the gospel for a creature comfort. I am usually much more fearless than that. We had a wonderful time with the whole experience but dccided that guilty pleasure was a part of the enjoyment. hawkgrrrl wrote:I love and agree with Ray’s thoughts here. I would embroider them on a pillow, but perhaps a mattress would be better.
Dorthy Parker wrote a poem “Ode to a bedroom ceiling” perhaps the ceiling of the mind would be the place to write such good advice.I agree that Ray’s guideline are right on. I found that by altering me Prayers to “May anyone I should share the gospel with be brought to me” has worked as well as I can deal with.
What Bothers Me the Most I guess I am afraid to form any opinions on whether to do T W for Incestors or not.
I do know that in addition to being a terrible thing incest is a symptom of even greater problems. This may help explain the reason these people think they don’t have to repent in this life because somebody will do their work after they are dead. I have no documentation on this but I think that in the spirit world you still have to be worthy before you can accept—receive the work that has been done for them.
What I would like to do is share my own story. Many people completely block out any memories of the abuse that happen to them. Usually there is a family belief that accounts for this. “Íf your Mother is told about this, it will kill her.” In my case the the family belief was “ If you don’t have kids this can’t happen again.” I grew up with problems that others didn’t have, but no reason why. When I went through menopause, and felt there could be no children the memories came rushing back. Thank God for a good therapist and years of hard work I am happily married and we have lots of other things to work on.
During the time I didn’t know anything had happened to me; I went to the temple and did the work for the woman who had abused me. These are the impressions I had during that time in the temple. I felt her presence in the Endowment Room. My Mother was also there as her escort. Neither of them spoke or even managed to make direct eye contact with me. I felt her presence at the veil; she seemed very repentant but eager to have the work completed. It wasn’t until years later that I remembered what she had done to me.
The emotion I feel is eagerness to have this all explained to me at the judgment or whenever the Lord knows I am ready to understand.
Welcome As you have all ready seen you will find lots of understanding and love here. I am one of those strong woman converts that was making her own way as a high school teacher long before I knew I was to ask the priesthood to make my decisions for me. I had been a member for 13 years when they took my ward and another to make 3 wards.
The Bishop of the new ward told me to wait outside his office he needed to talk to me as soon as he and his Counselors were set apart. When he ask me into his office he told me I was to be the new R S P. After 5 years in the calling I found I had no problems with the priesthood about the proper behavior for women in the church. But I sure warped the catagoris(sp) of some of the Sisters. They were certainly ready to teach me the error of my ways. My advice to any parent is to teach your children the gospel not the interperations(sp) of the brothers and sisters. There is a lot of documenation (sp)on this topic I promise to send later, but I am so eager to welcome you I didn’t want to even take time for spell checker much less find quotes.
Again Welcome
KK
Talk about changing tie dynamics of the Relief Society
