[kotm]

Need more women speakers

[kotm]

SilentDawning wrote:

I would just use the parking lot and deal with it if someone asks you to stop using it. I don’t know if there are any rules about using the property for that purpose. But if you ask, the answer is probably “No” because no one wants the liability in case you hurt yourself. But I don’t think this is a big issue for anyone in authority right now.

Makes sense. In theory it probably should not be an issue. However these days some people seemingly have a trigger finger when it comes to calling the police over anything they disprove of no matter how little it impacts them. I still remember when I was 15 and my Dad was teaching me to drive. We used our church parking lot in the evening, and someone called the police on us. lol

I just remember when I used to skateboard people would drive us out almost anywhere we went.

[kotm]

The white shirt really is mostly a cultural thing it seems. In my YSA ward we often get men passing the sacrement meeting in black shirts sometimes.

[kotm]

Minyan Man wrote:

kotm, is there a way to attach your talk to this board? I would love to read it. I’m sure there are others who would like to see it too.

I gave a talk about a few months ago. I didn’t get much of a response either. A week later, someone quoted what I said in Sunday School.

My reaction was “someone heard me”. It was kind of a shock. Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked. It was a quote from Elder Uchtdorf.

Recently I’ve been thinking, when was the last time I commented to someone about a talk they gave during sacrament meeting?

I came away with the idea that our sacrament talks are more for us (the speaker) then the person listening to it.

I agree with what Cnsli said & I have always believed that if you aren’t getting what you need at church, do something else.

IMO life is meant to be explored.

Here’s the link to my talk. It’s backwards, so start from the bottom and scroll up. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jE4zKqUCURuhdpf770GtEEcx__DfrgCw/view?usp=sharing

[kotm]

Minyan Man wrote:

I don’t really consider myself to be a “social” person. At least you try. We didn’t go to our Christmas party this year.

We do have a few friends at church that we socialize with. Personally, I tend to be on the quiet side. When I am at church,

I tend to look for people who are like me. Quiet, new in the ward, marginal (meaning not outgoing or vocal or “leadership” types).

If this sight took a poll, most of us would probably fit within these categories.

Personally, I don’t hesitate to introduce myself. Maybe it’s because of my age. On the other hand, my wife has always been more

socially outgoing than I am.

When the church doesn’t give me what I need or want, then I try something else.

It doesn’t mean to have your name removed from the rolls or go inactive. Just try something else.

If you want some suggestions, just ask.

Maybe doing something outside the church will give you the ROI you’re looking for.

It’s just frustrating. Feels like members like me get put on the back burner in favor of the newer and fresher faces with the sob stories. Like I get it, a lot of us have had trouble growing up in the church. But why is it other members seem to get precendent. No one bothers to set me up with someone either. Meanwhile the bishop actively does this with seemingly everyone else. Seems people see someone like me and think “Oh, he’s been a member his entire life so he doesn’t need help or fellowshipping he’s just fine.” When that is so far from the truth. I remember my Mom telling me how amazed she is that I am still active despite how awful the church has been to me over the years. It almost made me feel stupid, like I’m letting the church walk all over me.

And I have been trying to my get myself out there more. But seems nobody notices me. I’m not unique, I don’t have a sexy job – heck I’m not even that attractive. And yes, I am working on my physical apperance by working out more too. But seems there’s only so much I can do. Where’s my big break? When do I become someone’s project?

And I don’t mean to come off as crass. However this has been one of my longstanding frustrations with the church.

[kotm]

Friedrich wrote:

Let them have a few hours of fun.

Sure. But the if the were church funding an uncessary luxury like this is pretty bad look especially if church funds were being used. [they weren’t]

I didn’t serve a mission, so I never fully experienced the “hardship” missionaries go through/flex about. So I woldn’t understand or know.

And I’ll be the first to admit, I have a bit of an unfavorable view of byu and missionaries.

[kotm]

Reading the stuff about shunning within the JW community I can’t help but think it how common it is within LDS circles too. While it’s not official doctrine, members of the church have demonstrated this time and time again to be shunners of anyone who they do not like. While this is most likely more perdominent in places like Utah, and other traditional LDS communities in AZ, CA and Idaho – it’s not widespread across the church. But someone like me, I have experienced it myself many many times. I still remember my Mom tell me how shocked she is how I have managed to remain active within the church with the way I have been treated in the past by fellow church members.

[kotm]

I appreciate all of your responses and support. And has somewhat made me feel better and a little less anxious about this. I am recieving my endowement later this week and I will be sure to let you know how it went!

[kotm]

Roy wrote:

kotm wrote:

it’s refreshing to come across someone like Sara who is LDS and has a very progressive approach to it.

What is her approach?

This is one approach that I love.

https://observer.com/2015/06/the-naked-people-in-your-ipod/

Quote:

Just like your appetite reacts to the smell of cooking bacon, evolution wired clever primates, like you and me, to react to sexual stories, pictures, and videos. It’s that simple. That’s pretty much the only reason porn is even a thing.

But for a lot of people, porn isn’t just a thing — it’s a Very Scary Thing. In our culture, a lot of those people spend their Sunday afternoons in the same building we do. Don’t make too much of this — I think religions do some things really well. But conservative religions, like ours, suck at porn.

That’s a good article. One analogy Sara used once was that of a Tiger living in a village. And how if you keep the Tiger locked up all the time it’s going to get pent up and frustrated. And once the Tiger is let out, it will hurt the villagers. However if you care for the Tiger, and give the Tiger boundaries the Tiger will be well behaved, and you will have a great healthy relationship with the Tiger. That’s probably not exactly, and I’m sure I have missed some aspects – however the analogy was great. And obviously the Tiger is an analogy for sexuality.

[kotm]

It’s really interesting. In my YSA ward Christ is mentioned during both sacrament meeting and 2nd hour. However I attended a family ward a few months ago and there was zero mention of Christ.

Fwiw I don’t think there’s anything wrong with checking out other faiths. I think what’s most important is your relationship with Christ.

[kotm]

Roy wrote:

kotm wrote:

I think there’s a big difference between wanting a safe enviorment for teens verses forcing your own religious ideals on everyone else. I mean would it be okay if a bunch of Muslim parents came in and demnaded all the female students cover their faces?

Yeah, I think for Christians generally there is a tendency to blur what is bad for youth generally and what is against our religion. I also understand that in some Muslim majority countries it can be a crime to disobey religious rules. I observe that most religions, if given the chance will start to impose their standards and morality on the differently believing population. I am a huge proponent of a separation of church and state.

Yep yep. Seperation of church and state is very important. And this is lost on so many especially members.

[kotm]

Minyan Man wrote:

There used to be a time when our Stake had their own Homecoming & Prom type dances. The students represented multiple high schools

in the area. I’m not sure if our Stake continues to do that today or not. My kids used to go to both.

Do they do the same thing in the Utah “bubble”?

Yeah , “Moprom” that’s what my stake did too. I thought it was a good idea considering prom tickets were about $500 a piece from what I recall.

I chaperoned a few of them as a YSA

[kotm]

Roy wrote:

Mormonism is a unique subculture. In some areas this subculture is dominant and acts in interesting ways as the majority. Subcultures don’t exactly burst the way that investment speculation bubbles tend to.

kotm wrote:

A great example of this was the drama surrounding prom at my high school every single year. There’d be this push to have a strict dress code that conformed to LDS standards only. And yes, my high school had a larger LDS student population (I think it was about 25-30%) this just seemed silly. And it was pushed every year by LDS parents.

I think that LDS parents tend to assume that all youth should be shielded, safeguarded, and guardrailed against adult content and activities. In general, there is broad consensus among parents of all stripes that this is wise an appropriate. However, when it come to removing books from the school library, protesting the viewing of schindler’s list in history class, or policing bare shoulders at school dances – there are broad divisions over how much safeguarding is appropriate for different age groups.

I think there’s a big difference between wanting a safe enviorment for teens verses forcing your own religious ideals on everyone else. I mean would it be okay if a bunch of Muslim parents came in and demnaded all the female students cover their faces? And yes, I seemed to have left out all of the other garbage that went on that you mentioned in your last few sentences. I recall a major push back when I was a freshman in high school to have the evolution section removed from the bio books at my high school. And the parents somehow won. And then proceeded to have a “tearing out party” to get together to tear out the evolution sections in the Bio books. And this was back in 2007. So I can’t iamgine what it’s like now. I still remember a bunch of members even banding together to prevent the construction of a homeless shelter nearby. It got incredibly nasty and really screwed up my own perception of members.

[kotm]

Arizona – but they were all from the area or had been for at least 30+ years. I think one of my SPs family was here since the territorial days. And the socieconomic backgrounds varied quite a bit. One SP owned a lot of land, and came from wealth. Another made a modest living, and lived within his means. Modest car, regular house. And they both had counselors who came from different backgrounds too.

And while I don’t want to stroke animosity towards members from geographic regions, my stake really began to suck when members from Utah began moving in in large numbers. Just glad I’m no longer there. The current SP is due to be released soon. However I’m sure it will be someone who is not “native” so to speak. The current SP is a good guy, but the guy before him was pretty amazing. Always ephasized knowing every single member by name, and emphasized tolerance and acceptance. However that has all gone down in flames now since he left.

[kotm]

nibbler wrote:

At this stage the story has “some guy on the internet said so” levels of credibility. I’d wait to see who shows up to the TCU v BYU game for confirmation.

If they showed up then we’d still be speculating on who actually paid for it. 200 or so missionaries, ticketmaster is all over the place, maybe nosebleeds in the $40-$50 range. $10,000 total to send the mission to a game. Maybe it wouldn’t be the church paying for it, that could be a low enough price tag for a wealthy MP to send the kids on his own dime because he thinks it will be a great missionary opportunity… somehow. Or he wants to do something nice for his missionaries.

For the sake of argument, let’s say it’s real and the church paid for it. IMO the church has done far worse with $10K. I’d be in favor of the church building one or two less temples and doing something very nice for every single missionary that’s currently serving at least once a year, preferably twice a year. Lord knows I could have used one solitary vacation day and break from it all on my mission. :thumbup:

This story is a “wait and see” for me.

That’s fair. But I find it weird in general to send a bunch of missionaries to a football game which is already a hostile enviorment. Just feels like this is once again a situation where it’s byu sports, so it’s okay to bend the rules, check religion at the door situations. Just another reason why I’ve never been a fan of the CES fielding competitive sports teams.

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