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I totally agree, which is why I still have a problem with this. Tithing is a personal declaration, and despite people in SS loving to say silly things like “Do you want Gross or Net blessings”, it is up to us to decide how much to pay. At tithing settlement, the Bishop shouldn’t be looking at the figure, multiplying it by 10 then asking if you earn X amount per year. The SP even said to me when I met him that it’s quite common for people to pay ‘full’ tithing for a few months in order to get a TR, then lapse after, but they let that be on their heads. Why can’t this be on my head? Bizarrely I prayed sincerely about changing my tithing so that I could donate to Amnesty, Shelter, Oxfam, etc. Heaven forbid I receive an answer that tells me something heterodox!
Really enjoyed that. It’s about the realities of a mission that are often not talked about beforehand. Very inspiring. Sent it to my Brother who’s off in 5 weeks.
On Sunday when I was released (without being replaced) and had my TR taken off me it felt like a clear punishment. Bishop came over on Tuesday and it did help to clear the air. The bottom line is that I still don’t know what I’ve said, and where, that was a problem. I spent hours last night going through all my old posts, and I don’t see a problem. I don’t think this sanction is a time thing it’s akin to a transgression. What I’ve done wrong is very unclear. Sent from my Windows Phone 8X by HTC using Board Express
I’m not sure that with the current working of BSA policies that celibate gay adults would be allowed to be leaders if their orientation is publicly known. I’m still without a TR. I think the apostate groups accusation is without foundation.
The criticising church leaders one is possibly a fair one, although no specific details have been discussed with me about what I said, where, when and in what context.
The Tithing issues is a fair one too, although I’ve only been splitting it between the church and other charities for about 8 weeks, and there has been no discussion about this to try and understand my perspective – just a challenge to change and ‘pay it in full’ (what ever that actually means!).
I’m pretty sure it’s just someone in the ward with an agenda. One of the things that really irked is the fact that if you print out all my comments, they are taken completely out of context of the discussion. Also, Bishop really has no idea what this site and NOM are really about. The most apostate group I post in is the ExMormon subreddit. Again, this needs qualifying as it is extremely different to any other Exmo groups in my opinion. The main LDS reddit became a place only for narrow views so actually the ExMo group is populated by all sorts of people, and the discussions of things like the historical issues are full of well thought out, balanced comments from a reasonable range of views.
I’m sorry to hear about your depression, and I sincerely hope the counselling is beneficial. At least you’re seeing a professional! Here in the UK all professional counsellors employed by LDS Family Services have been laid off so that the money can be ploughed into the missionary programmes. The memo that came through said that all counselling would return to being the responsibility of Bishops. My mind boggles at this!
I think that’s a good idea Ray, and would have no problem with my own intorduction being used. My only concern is that for a lot of these stories, time has passed and things change, some for the better and others for the worse, so these introductions are unlikely to paint a current picture. Just showed my wife (who has an art degree) and she spat her drink across the room. :wtf: That is all.
kristmace wrote:So it turns out theyve decided not to see me as I’ve recently had a successful TR interview.
Shame as i was all prepared with my top 3 things, and i was ready to dig my heels in if they asked me to stop blogging.
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Just an update on this. A member of the SP saw me after YMs last week. It was a really interesting and useful meeting.
I’ve heard lots of stories over the years of leaders being very dogmatic and uncompromising, and I’m really grateful that this wasn’t the case. His primary concern was for me and my family. He said right from the start that he didn’t want to discuss the ‘issues’ as I’d already recently done that with my Bishop and another SP member over a TR, and they had been satisfied that I was doing enough to warrant one. He also didn’t want any conflict or the inevitable disagreement if we discussed the whys or wherefores of my concerns.
He started by stating that he’d read the blog, and really wanted to know ‘where you’re going with this’. One of his first questions was whether this was an exit strategy. We discussed the wider implications for myself and my family, and ultimately he wanted me to be aware of where this could lead, and what the consequences would be.
I was really pleased that he didn’t ask me to stop posting things. I’ve got opinions about things like same-sex marriage that I freely express, and it really bothers me that some people feel that I should keep quiet just because I disagree with the church, yet it’s fine for them to post some very homophobic and misogynistic things.
He wants regular meetings. Maybe I’m his little project or maybe he’s trying to protect the other members from hearing things that could promote doubt. Either way, I felt his intentions were good, and I’m thankful he approached this from an angle of love rather than that of authority.
This is the first I’ve heard about it, but im seriously considering going to York next Friday. Sent from my Windows Phone 8X by HTC using Board Express
The bizarre thing about this is that those of us who are Liberal recognise that we are part of a very Conservative church, and we accept that we disagree with most members on many social and political issues, yet that kind of acceptance and recognition is not reciprocated back in our direction!! Having been spending more time on Ex-Mormon and NOM boards recently, I can completely see where OP is coming from! So it turns out theyve decided not to see me as I’ve recently had a successful TR interview. Shame as i was all prepared with my top 3 things, and i was ready to dig my heels in if they asked me to stop blogging.
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Thank you hawkgrrrl. I read that blog before i wrote mine and it was very influential. You make a great point about the behind the scenes moaning. Hardly anyone is willing to discuss it with me, but theyre quite willing to moan to leaders.
My Dad (SP member in another stake) has taken loads of calls from ‘concerned’ family members who also wont discuss it directly with me. Dad wont even read the blog.
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