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Thanks for that HPMBH. Tbh, I don’t think an electronic version exsists. Will be weird leaving my Kobo to one side and reading a proper book for a change.
I think I’ll be buying it as the libraries here in the UK don’t seem to have it anywhere.
johnh wrote:
Everytime I give her a blessing I ask “What was your middle name again?”Occasionally in small group discussions…including at church i say “My wife is Gay and we have learned to work it out”
Sometimes boys will be boys….even when they are 47 years old
😳 Good man! Banter in marriage is essential
This talk from Oct 2005 conference by Elder Oaks makes very clear that presiding in the home is not necessarily linked to the priesthood and the the priesthood power is the governance of the church and that governance of the family is something different. I think the OP was absolutely spot on with their view in this case.
On Own Now wrote:kristmace wrote:Had another good talk with the wife yesterday and we whittled it down to the fact that most of my concern stems from BOM. She wants me to read it (again), and it’s the last thing I want to read right now!
If your wife is like mine was in those early days, she is thinking that this is a rough spell related to your testimony, and that it will eventually work itself out and all will be right again. One thing that you might find helpful is to make it clear to her that you want to stay with her in the church and that you are seeking out the good and agreeable parts of it… that there are some things you don’t agree with, or believe in (though I would stay away from details), and then just cycle back to the good things. There is much good in the church… your seeking it, and building on it may help give her the comfort that you are not abandoning the things about you that she loves.
Thank you for that.
I’m sure she does see it as just a rough patch, but I think I’ve expressed myself in a way that she realises that I’ve been in a quiet rough patch for years, and it’s only now that I feel strong enough to be honest about what I feel and think.
Thanks for the response. You’re right, there is a huge difference between trash talk and hate speech. What I feel it comes down to is a lack of maturity and empathy for others. I’m sure when they look back in 10 years time they’ll regret it and think differently, especially when someone they know comes out.
Thanks turinturambar. I’d be interested to know in your opinion as a gay man if you think I should stamp down on any usage of the term ‘gay’ in that slang context? I’m always wary of creating confrontation, especially with the YM I preside over, butI certainly wouldn’t let the term be used freely.
alltruth wrote:It might not be a bad thing that you weren’t too confrontational, especially with a YM. I’ve found that this age group really don’t want to look wrong in front of their peers. Perhaps you can find a talk or another resource and privately share it with the youth who didn’t know the doctrine. That way he gets the truth but saves face at the same time…
That’s a great idea, thanks.
I’m definitely not one for being confrontational with the YM. Loving them is ym most important duty.
SamBee wrote:My politics are mostly to the left too.
The BoM? Great book, not a scrap of physical evidence for it, but a great and mysterious inspiration.
Forget the BoA and racist stuff, waste of time mostly.
Your wife sounds great – you’re very lucky.
On the politics issue, my wife Skyped (is that a verb!?) one of her old mission companions at the weekend. This ex-companion is an amazing woman. She’s a public school teacher in DC so is very much a Dem. On a recent trip to SLC someone had genuinely asked her “how on earth can you vote democrat and be LDS?” It made me so mad that people think like that!
mackay11 wrote:Old-Timer wrote:Quote:By the way, go ahead and vent as loud and as angry as you want on here.
Just understand that I might chime in and ask you to reword things if it gets a bit much.
Ah… Yes… Thanks for the reminder
I’ll try my best at the eloquent ranting!
Thanks for the reply mackay11, very insightful. I’m definitely in the angry/disillusioned stage where I want to let everyone know how I’m feeling. I’ve stalked some exmormon forums, but they’re a little too angry – seems much more measured here which is more my style (usually). I’m starting to accept the fact that the BOM probably never happened, and that’s probably what causes the frustration as I’ve been lead to believe my whole life that it is “the most correct of any book on earth….”
In terms of specific issues, I’ve had problems with the ‘logistics’ of the book for a long time. The biggest one when I was younger was the Jaredites travelling across the sea in the barges ‘like unto a dish’. The size of these barges and the length of time they were supposedly at sea was preposterous. I was suspicious of some of the items and animals: elephants and steel being the main two. A short dip into the internet later and I found a whole list of these.
I’m still struggling with black and white vision. If the BOM did not come about as the church says, and if it isn’t historically accurate then the church is a fraud top to bottom and I want nothing to do with it again…. That’s not so easy being a deep cultural mormon with a TBM wife.
Thanks for all your replies. Interested that you mentioned going slow ex-mo as the first thing that came to my mind was to be very vocal about my opinions in church. Not necessarily the best idea!
Had another good talk with the wife yesterday and we whittled it down to the fact that most of my concern stems from BOM. She wants me to read it (again), and it’s the last thing I want to read right now!
Thanks for the link Wayfarer. That’s another article to add to my kindle (which has quite a backlog at the moment). I’m definitely going slow and not rushing into any decisions, but this has made my wife realise that this is a long term thing, not a fad that I’m going to get out of quickly. It’s the start of a long journey, and I don’t know where it’s going to end.
