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countrygirl444 wrote:
It sounds like you are already doing a good job at this, but my biggest advice would be to keep respecting his beliefs. If my husband had not been so determined to take me out of the church with him we might have made it, but instead he felt the need to make me feel like everything I loved, and basically my whole life was nothing but rubbish.
Mutual respect is goes a long way when it comes to differences of opinion in any arena. I am a different person than
:shh: when my DW and I got married, and she has become a different person over the years as well.Don’t get me wrong we’ve had our arguments over differences of opinion and one of us overbearing on the other because we don’t understand their point of view or think their point of view is wrong. But those are temporary and we eventually get over it. There’s much more to our marriage than just similar religious views. We have different religious views , and over the years of my faith evolution,, she has had hers in little ways as well.
Counseling is usually a good option, as it allows for open discussion and each of you can get things off of your chest, you may find that you are closer as a couple.
SamBee wrote:I read this book last year. So that’s an excuse for me topping this, and I’ll come back to it later.
Thanks for bumping it up. It was next on my to read list but I’ve misplaced it. I was just thinking of it two weeks ago.
[attachment=0]tmp_24539-IMG_20150205_2250111449523856.jpg[/attachment] There’s something about seeing the originals up close, I’ve seen Degas in books all over the place, the dancers etc. and they never really stuck out to me. Then I saw one of them original, and it hit me. I almost cried in the middle of the Getty museum.
I agree. What a great subject to be able to speak on you have so many examples of service from the scriptures in the life of Christ. One of the things that appeals to me most about scouting is the opportunity to be able to do so much service, service projects, and be able to him a service oriented mindset.
One of my favorite quotes is to leave a place better than when you found it. Which goes a long way in terms of service.
Love God and love your neighbor. Service is a nutshell. I know I take a simplistic approach but there it is.
We had to vary the rules per the child like most everyone else said. Some kids aren’t interested some are too interested. Be open and blunt if you need to, but communicate a lot. Getting them to communicate is another story, but it sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders. Roadrunner wrote:I respectfully disagree with President Kimball about where kids get into trouble. I think most kids have sex in their own home and bed when mom and dad are away.
Too true, having raised sons and daughters, I’ve found it doesn’t matter as much where, but it’s time ‘doing nothing’ and ‘hanging out’ that got them into the most trouble.
LookingHard wrote:
I would agree. I can tell I am turning into an old fart. It really bugs me than as I drive to work in the morning I see crowds of kids waiting at the bus stop. They are all heads-down on their phones. I want to shake them and say, “what about the people right next to you!!” We have heard that there is a trend with missionaries basically being somewhat socially inept due to never experiencing face to face communication with strangers.Then call me an old fart too.
:clap: TragedianActor wrote:So clearly I’m not going to get the help I’m looking for from this forum. I posted this hoping to get some help to save our marriage. Instead, I’m getting a whole bunch of people trying to convince me of the lie that divorce is okay. I can tell you I’m certainly not going to go to a therapist if that’s what they’re going to tell me.
So I guess the only thing to do is what I’ve done every other time we’ve had a meltdown – ride it out and hope things smooth over somehow.
But if not, I guess I’d better be prepared to put my money where my mouth is and actually take my own life.
Because the way life is is not okay.
And it’s not okay to say it’s okay.
I have been where you are at a few times in my life for many different reasons. Yes, you need to get some close personal help. This is just a text based forum. Yes, divorce is better than suicide. I’m not advocating divorce. But if you are at that point of throwing life away, then you must say to yourself that if you can’t stand to live like this, then you must be willing to realize that you may be in an abusive relationship. Verbal abuse is still abuse. You probably still love your wife, and see her many good qualities. Anyone would in a relationship, that doesn’t mean it’s ok.
Suicide will destroy your sonand leave a wake of destruction in the lives of everyone you know. You need to get that thought out of your head, things are desperate. We’re here for you, but we are all impersonal. Get help, you don’t need to tell her you’re doing it but get help.
GBSmith wrote:
There were plenty of people that had left activity and were not living the law of chastity that were never disciplined because they weren’t interested in repentance and weren’t making a splash about being mormon and immoral. Small point.Good point as well, I wonder if some people get to the point of wanting to leave but can’t do it on their own that they just keep pushing until they are kicked out, then they no longer have used their agency, so to speak, to leave. I don’t mean to dismiss nor belittle, I guess I am just not fully comprehending my own opinion on this. I would so much rather that he not be excommunicated, I don’t know how I will feel if he is.
nibbler wrote:I think some excommunications are the results of leaders getting caught up in a moment like a deer in headlights and they’re just trying their best to follow what’s in the handbook.
I understand this, and it’s prevalence in the church. I’m doing this because it’s what I’m supposed to do. Or what I think those who put me in charge expect me to do.
Heber13 wrote:
I don’t mean to minimize the pain it must be causing John and his family. Only that I don’t know how else to view it, since we live in the mortal realm with mortals making decisions for the mortal organization called the church, which from time to time is inspired from a higher realm to do miraculous things.
I agree, even though I think they have come to terms with it, it still must be excruciating.
Heber13 wrote:
We see through a glass darkly. All of us do, including church leaders trying to do what they think is best for the church and the individual. They don’t always get it right, and they aren’t always wrong. They try. As will I.This.well said I read through all of your comments since my last, with varying emotions and thoughts. Thank you all for the input. My heart aches over the possibility of his ex’ing. I have come ti the feeling that if he is, i will reserve quick judgement. Nothing usually ends well from rash decisions and assumptions. I know there are many who have already assumed that they know why he will be ex’d. The assumption is that the church is silencing opposing voices. Unless the SP comes out and says why they will vote the way they end up voting (which won’t happen), we will only know JDs version of why.
It’s a terrible comparision, but I am reminded of the salamander letter, and when it was first attributed, so many people jumped ship. “Finally they had proof”. They may not have regretted their decision after finding out it was a fake, but I imagine that were a few that realized they were carried about like the wind so to speak.
I’m not ready to shout from the rooftops that there’s 100% of anything, especially JDs views on his upcoming hearing.
The thought that the church I am a part of would ‘silence’ it’s membership is contrary to my personal moral standing. I realize though that part of this problem was my own assumptions that he is being silenced. If i say that i have doubts, i don’t expect to have the SP knocking on my door. So where is there a line that gets crossed? When you shout it from a rooftop to when you have a huge following and say you no longer believe in Christ?
LookingHard wrote:LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:And why don’t we have Girl Scouts in the church?
Do you want the Sunday School answer, or my blunt 1 word answer: “sexism”
Lol at first, then yeah, I’ve thought that myself.hawkgrrrl wrote:Because BSA creates self sufficient men who are conformists. GSA creates lesbians who self-perform abortions. This is nearly the exact answer I got when I asked this question. All my friends were girl scouts.
I hope you didn’t hear that from a scoutmaster.nibbler wrote:
It could be about influence. How much influence does the church wield with the BSA? The church might want to wield similar influence at the top of Girl Scouts, at which point the lack of involvement between the two groups may be desired by both parties.
I remember during the 70s the heyday of GS, there was a lot of backlash from the supposed ties and influence of the women’s lib movement. Maybe you’re right about that.LookingHard wrote:
After all the entire “venturing” class of scouts was made just for the LDS “Teachers quorum”.
IMO that has been detrimental to lds scouting. It makes perfect sense to have scouting divided into quorums which coincide with each other, but it doesn’t make for a cohesive group of older boys for the younger boys to look up to. And conversely younger boys for the older to mentor. Objectively there is still interaction between the groups, but it lends to a mentality of scouts as “kids stuff” when you turn 14.Old-Timer wrote:
Some important issues aside, the Young Women program is quite good; generally speaking, the Young Men program, in most places, isn’t nearly up to that level.
I agree. my girls earned their awards which was akin to Eagle scout workload.LookingHard wrote:
I firmly believe that scouting is a positive for the vast majority of YM. If the program is done right, the boys learn how to lead. That is actually what the BSA wants to happen.Scouting does not do much for those that don’t like fire, knives, camping, sports. Somewhat a mirror of the church that the majority really like the way it is, but there are some groups that I does not resonate quite as well as others.
Even though I have been (was) in scouting for more than a decade, I do see some parents that equate scout rank advancement to be THE indicator if they are doing their job as a parent. And sometimes the boy is advancing for no other reason than their parents are forcing them. There have been Eagle scouts in my troop that I feel were really not ready for the real world after they graduated.
It took me a long time to realize to tailor scouting to the individual boys. I was so gung ho in the beginning that if they weren’t interested in scouts, well that’s what we were doing.I think in general and i hate to generalize, but i would guess that eagle scouts from non lds troops compared to lds troops are more “scouty” and self prepared.
GBSmith wrote:And don’t even think about going without your DW. There’s no forgiveness for that here or in the world to come.
There’s another thing I can say “I know” to.
Wow, excellent examples! Sorry I came in on this one late. Sounds like you’ve got enough to run on, the entire scout law, motto, slogan, oath, and even outdoor code can and should be framed into a Christ centered mindset. Scout Sunday. My only gripe is that scouts should be able to wear their uniforms to bless and pass the Sacrament. I know I’m probably a minority even here, but it’s is really a cool thing to see. It’s up to the Bishop, but HB2 discourages it. Hence it rarely happens.
And why don’t we have Girl Scouts in the church?
Newbee here again. Lurker extraordinare. JDs podcast really helped me through some difficult times, and added some difficulty as well. Looking back, and re-listening to MS podcasts, I noticed his evolution from one who was doubting/searching and non-biased. Some of the later episodes it was apparent that not only was the non-biased portion gone, but there was something else that seemed pervasive. Hard to put it into words, but it was more difficult to listen to him. What impressed me so much in the beginning was his ability to keep biases out from both sides, but that seemed to be gone somewhere along the way.
That being said he is on his own faith evolution, like the rest of us, and there is plenty of support wherever he goes with it. I am glad for all the work that he did.
Quote:I believe that women will be punished for their own fashion faux pas and not for Eve’s totally last year’s fig leaves.
:lolno: That was a great one!
I don’t have any great suggestions other than you are the minority voice of reason, and speak your mind anyway. Of course do it in a tactful way, if you have the opportunity to teach or bear testimony, you’ve got the floor and can voice your opinion. Being humble and not vindictive as has been said will carry much farther.
The first thing that came to mind reading through this thread was that there were those that counted the steps to the temple in Jerusalem and then that became the standard for maximum steps taken on the Sabbath. Missing the mark 101.
nibbler wrote:Ok, but what if someone says yes to “Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?” Apparently that doesn’t happen very often but if it did happen isn’t there the expectation that the person would then go on to confess, to elaborate on their answer? That really applies to all the obedience questions. If someone gives anything other than the “good” answer doesn’t the interview typically transition over to confession mode? Wouldn’t answering “no” to do you obey the word of wisdom be the start of a confession?
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A friend in our ward answered all of the questions in the interview and then when it came to the stake interview talked about the problem. When asked why they didn’t talk with their bishop, they said that they didn’t feel comfortable sharing the issue with them. I’ve had my personal differences with leadership so I understand the concern. Our bishops are untrained and sometimes not very patient and charitable. Sometimes the best person for the job is picked for his professional position and the fact that they have made it up through the ranks of callings without incident.
Don’t get me wrong, I sustain our bishop with all of his flaws. He’s a mere mortal like me, trying to do his best. I support him and respect his office. I don’t take everything that comes from him as inspired, because he is also a proud man, who doesn’t like to lose.
Between the ‘Committee as Leadership’ and ‘Bishop as Ultimate Authority’ he definitely follows that latter.
There now I’ve rambled again and went off on a tangent.
I don’t remember where I heard it, and I hate to quote something I can’t backup or source, I had heard that the priesthood was something that we received in the pre earth life, and when we are here, just wait for it to be ‘activated’ for lack of a better word by ordination. Also that if you were to lose your priesthood it is essentially not removed but deactivated. In other words it is eternal, and both men and women had/have it. Would anyone else have heard this and maybe have a source?
