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It was my understanding as well that some cases were similar to those within the church (as well as the Catholics) that offenders were not banished but moved to different areas (ie different callings etc.) rather than outright separation and prosectution. Reforming the sinner, etc. Never should have happened like that but they are now dealing with the consequences of covering up and minimizing their knowledge.
I can see them changing the logon and password every few years as a formality, clears it the users that are in the area of a building and just leeching off of free internet. But yes the ‘ aligning with correct name’ made no sense whatsoever, unless they are trying to home the the internet is out current day liahona.
Personally I think they are harmless. I agree having open dialog is helpful, and can be very hard to get started, especially if the youth doesn’t know that the parent knows or thinks that the stories they are reading are sexual explicit. It may give false expectations etc. but I think we all had false expectations before we became adults.
Without knowing all of the details, the first thought that comes to mind is delegate, but that seems like too simplistic of an answer. Having dealt with people for way longer than I should have I realized only after getting out of the situation that like Roy said some people will always be needy. It’s worse when they are needy and judgemental. I’m not saying this is the situation you are in.
Boundaries, delegation, and knowing when people are just ‘takers’ for lack of a better word.
You don’t want to get burned out and it seems like you are headed that way, so something needs to change. There will be an end to this, look down the road and see where you want to end up at the end of it.
Take care of yourself on the journey.
I don’t see a lot of change with this program. Maybe knowing that scouts was on the way out and there was no way there could be a replacement that would be able to compare with it, I just assumed we would get what we’ve heard were getting. It seems like the natural approach. I don’t see weekly activities changing AT ALL. the kids will still plan, take ownership, and then expect the leaders to have everything ready every tuesday or Wednesday.
I see a yearly high adventure activity being more what the kids want rather than ‘we have to spend a week at camp, so there’s no time for anything else.’ and more work for individual leaders.
I am hoping the new ‘program’ will have the benefits of families being stronger,.Yet I think of the familes that the home life isn’t that great, so a parent who is hoping the church can help their kids stay on the right path might either have more involvement or not.
AmyJ wrote:
What am I missing?
I think you got it. There were a lot of people thinking there was going to be a hefty program with check boxes and levels, rewards and accomplishments. Instead it’s ‘set good goals and your family helps, and the church can have activities that help as well.’
Nice that she was able to hear your lesson and that you went ahead with talking her out of primary. I think it’s good for kids to attend older people classes now and then. I had experiences in scouting where parents complained that I was being my younger son on activities with the older boys. If I could go back now I would simply say no when these concerns came up. My younger sons got so much out of those activities and I’m glad I was able to bring them on the ones I did.
I found it interesting that under each heading in the article there was a small explanation, and under the “we believe pornography is forbidden”, the explanation was much longer. It included this tidbit: “Well-meaning people sometimes pass on rules that don’t exist.” This one’s a tough one for me SD. I’ve been on both ends the issue having had linked trust and forgiveness together, forgiving and being taken advantage of again and again. I’ve forgiven and not trusted as well. This is where I am today after having been accused of some really nasty things by extended family members, I forgive them, but I no longer trust them. I could say that I trust them to be exactly who I have found out them to be as people.
I’ve also done stupid things and been the offender, and needing to restore trust.
The restoring trust issue is the hardest part of being the offender, because I know that even with all the good that I can do in changing habits, and striving to be trustworthy, memory lingers. Every now and then it will raise and boil to the top. I realized a little while ago that there is nothing that I can do to fully restore the trust. It is something I and we have to live with. I want to just start from today and move forward forgetting about the past but I know that’s not possible. To clarify, my offence was not adultery, but trust was still broken. I thought many times about what it would be like if the roles were reversed, and I had to deal with what she has had to deal with.
I came across this article which was one of the only that dealt with the offender, most others were concerned with how to deal with being cheated on (which is horrible in and of itself).
For the Betrayer: 8 Things You Must Know and Do to Rebuild Trust After an Affair
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/for-the-betrayer_n_3269327?ec_carp=1527530889648315864 It deals with how to rebuild trust. Some couples can overcome an adulterous problem, some can’t. I don’t know how they do it, but it is probably one of the hardest things to do.
I totally get the Star Wars analogy. I similarly associate many things in life, ie Force to the Spirit, midichloridans to the priesthood etc. I thought about Moses as well when I started writing, as well as others. There are so many similarities with other fables.
If someone at one time believed that the SW saga were actual events, and no longer feels that way, it would affect the way they then feel towards all aspects related to and associated with it.
I guess I need to figure out my goal. What is the point of asking all these questions, is it to break myself out of this apathy? I like deep philosophical thought and challenging questions, yet I don’t take enough time to thoroughly explore them.
I appreciate everyone’s input on the site. Often I read and don’t comment for lack of time, or other distractions. If I had more time…. Always more time… And cranial capacity.
Roy, your DD is very astute. She will do great in life. My youngest hates public speaking but makes it through it, in one sense I hate pushing him to speak, and the other I think it helps him (he’s socially awkward like his dad).
I’ve never had additional questions nor interpretations during the TR interview.
I agree that your SP was out of line in adding that. I wish that I could have this happen to me and that I would be sharp and smart enough to answer so that the SP understands (tactfully) that he shouldn’t add or modify the questions so it doesn’t happen to someone else. But I would probably be taken off guard and not be able to fix it.
I don’t have a problem with it. I grew up around alcohol and yes there are concerns about addiction in my family, but fortunately I never liked the hard stuff. Beer on the other hand… I brew my own home brew and burn off (most of) the alcohol. I also don’t really have a problem with Non-alcoholic beers, even in my most TBM days I would occasionally have one. Still one of the best ways to cook brotwurst is in beer.
Odd come to think of it, that even in my most black and white days, I don’t think it was ever an issue. Other than DW saying I should ‘avoid the appearance of evil’, which I understood her point, but did not agree with.
I was frank with my children (most now grown) about bishops interviews when they were younger. There was one bishop I was concerned might be ‘overzealous’ in his questions. I certainly don’t think a bishop should ask direct questions about masterbation or porn, I’ve heard too many shady stories. Fortunately with all of them there were no issues. I agree I would give him the option of you being there (most kids I think would say no especially at 16), but the option is there. Also it might be a good opportunity to go over the tr questions and have a dialog on what they mean, your views, etc.
Gerald wrote:
However, our Sunday School was very well attended. I’m not sure if it was because there was less motivation for loitering in the halls (which many of our members do) …
I miss my foyer class
It was one of my only downtime social outlets.
We also meet with another ward in the same building, so we started an hour and a half later than normal, slept in and still out by about lunch.
All around a plus for me.
The first time I attended the temple I asked my bishop in the celestial room if all this was received by JS. He answered that it was, it could be that he didn’t know, or didn’t want to open up an hour long discussion on changes. He probably didn’t know. I think these are positive changes. My DW and I were talking about it this morning and how it removes the subservient role of women, and at least some of us have been ahead of the curve on these changes. I remember when we were married and I cringed a little inside when some of those right hand ordinances were performed. I didn’t want my DW to feel less than me or that her views were somehow less valid than mine. Ultimately having the man have the final say in a relationship is hard to justify.
Neither of us has been inside for over a year, for many reasons. Being nearly full time caregivers for aging parents means time off is seldom.
Maybe will spark a general resurgence in attendance for a while, like when there were the 5 new films that were rotated through.
I’ve read Stonehenge Decoded by Gerald Hawkins, fantastic book if anyone is interested. He put all of the alignments of the stones into a computer and found many more seasonal alignments, such as the 19 year cycle of the moon, all in Stonehenges alignments. I recommend it if anyone is interested in an authoritative and complete read.
