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hawkgirl, It’s been a while since I’ve been here and I’m revisiting my old posts. I just wanted to say AMEN. Thank you. The divorce was final almost a year ago. It’s been a difficult couple of years but I am not sorry for making that choice.
Quote:“Would your wife be willing to simply support you in raising the kids in the church — and this means attending an hour of meetings or two? she doesn’t have to believe, just be there with you? Especially since the kids will probably get no other church and she has no other alternative to provide (apparently)?
I know I’m a month late to this, but I thought I’d chime in…
During my hardest time as a member (haha, I’m not entirely sure I’m finished going through it, it’s been a few years), my kids are what kept me going. I only went for them. I realized that the primary and youth programs were solid and that they could learn values that non-church-going kids didn’t have. My kids wanted to go, and that helped. If they hadn’t gotten up for church, I wouldn’t have gotten up and taken them. The darker history is there, but it won’t be taught in Primary or YW/YM. That’s a thought that I hope helps with your wife & allowing your kids to go. It is hard taking little ones to church by yourself. My ex was military so I went alone a lot, albeit for different reasons. After our divorce, taking kids by myself became difficult for a whole new set of reasons. Best wishes and blessings to you.
It’s been a few months since I’ve been here and your advice still rings true. I’ve moved closer to my family, started school, he’s here now too- living with his family. We haven’t divorced yet simply because I’ve had so much going on and not enough money yet but I really am done. It’s been 9 months and I just can’t wait for this to be over. I just got a job and I will be saving for the cost of filing. He still keeps asking for more chances and telling me he’s changed. 🙄 That’s a really good sign that he hasn’t, and I’ve heard it all before.Even if he did change, it’s over. I hope he can change for his sake and our kids’ sake. I have no desire to be married to him, I have no attraction to him. We are getting along as friends otherwise. I’m a good friend and he’s turning out to be a better friend than husband. No wonder everyone likes him, they weren’t married to him. Thanks for the advice.
I really appreciate your help here. I almost couldn’t believe that those words came out of his mouth, but I still could. At least he’s gone for another week. I told him not to talk to me about God, religion, or keeping families together. He apologized. I know him too well to accept an apology yet, but I will forgive. I don’t need this poison in my life. Thanks. He told me that God wants families to stay together. I don’t disagree, but to what extent? What do my kids and I have to put up with? I want to forgive. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being bitter. I want to part on good terms, it’s better for everyone that way. I’m in Primary and have been most of the last 20 years. I avoid SS for a couple of reasons when I don’t have a primary calling. First, I can’t sit on those hard metal chairs, they hurt me and standing the whole time is painful too (ugh! I might be old). Second, the lessons. If I make it through the whole hour without leaving (assuming I went in in the first place) I don’t pay a ton of attention to the teacher, lesson, or comments (People in there talk about the weirdest things sometimes!) I do my own searches of the topic at hand with Gospel Library on my iPad. Frankly, if I didn’t have a primary calling right now, I wouldn’t stay at church. I’ve wondered why after so many years we still have the same study guide for SS. If there are so many things we can learn from one verse of scripture, why are we always only looking at it in that one way? I remember being a child in primary and being sick of the same lessons year after year. Even the primary outlines are recycling, we’re doing the same one this year that we did 5 years ago. At least THAT isn’t the same every year, haha! I think the kids would outright revolt, especially the older ones who are counting the days until they turn 12. It hope SS changes for the better soon. You can only do stagnant for so long.
