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I do think there has been a fairly consistent theme within the church of “only showing the nice parts” of our lives and this is fueling perfectionism (assuming others are close to it). Facebook and other social media are amplifying this. But as a devout Brene Brown follower, I believe being upfront and honest (and with humility and without shame) are the best ways to make a human connection.
Mom is nice enough not to point out any negatives, but I am in just too much of a cantankerous mood I can’t help point out that it doesn’t mention how many have close family that have left the church (and I seem to remember one of the Gen RS Presidency has one son that even spoke on Mormon Stories that he is out, but maybe that was the previous Gen RS Presidency).
But there is a bit of risk with doing some of this. I remember just in the last week reading/hearing on a podcast where a woman was really bitter that she had been told her education was not important. She married early, didn’t finish college, had lots of kids, and really felt like she had not done most of what she wanted in her life. Then she looked at the Q15 and realized that few of the wives of the Q15 checked all the boxes she felt were “required” (they had fewer kids, advanced degrees, life lone careers). She felt really bitter about that.
But this is a really good thing.
DarkJedi wrote:
being a bishop’s counselor is absolutely less busy than being YMP or Scoutmaster.I agree here also I have been a bishopric counselor a few times and I was scoutmaster for a LONG time. It felt like a cake walk to JUST be a counselor. A bishop is one thing, but a counselor usually isn’t nearly so busy. Maybe don’t panic before you find out how much he will be gone.
It depends on the ward, but being the wife of a member of the bishopric gives you a little clout. I am not talking about the “I am such a good Mormon” stuff, but more if you want to say something a bit edgy in class sometime – you might be able to pull it off better as “the wife of a member of the bishopric.”
Best of luck.
hawkgrrrl wrote:
I do think arrogant is more apt than shady, but I get where dande48 is coming from. Psychologically, though, it is incredibly hard for anyone to truly internalize the feeling of being wrong because once we know we were wrong, we are “right” about having been wrong in the past. We never know what it feels like to BE wrong.Wise words from a female superhero.
I am with dande48 on this – and this is one of my main points pushing me away from the church. When I hear the, “oh he was just speaking as a man” pushed over and over – eventually to me it feels like, “the prophet is just like any of us – just a man”. The older I get the more examples I see of past prophets being countered with new prophetic sayings. I then have to think, “one of the strong tenets of the church is that they are led by a prophet of God. I look over my 1/2 century+ of life and consider how being in a church with a so-called God led prophet has helped me. At this point I actually am seeing more negative than positive. I think of the thousands of dollars I have spent on food storage that has just been thrown out as it spoiled. I should have had a good 72 hour kit and invested the money or even stuck it in my mattress. I think of how messed up I have been for decades with overwhelming shame for normal stuff. I see it nudging me to feel superior while holding on to homophobic and racists view way too long.
This blog post was yet another one of Hawkgrrrl’s posts that made me thing, “Dang she is insightful.” I agree 100% with her assessment and I “felt” it (i.e. very frustrated), but the way she detailed the WHY was spot on. I was about to essentially say what dande48 said in his first 2 paragraphs. For most people the sacrifice of paying tithing actually increases their commitment to the church. Once making such a sacrifice, mentally/emotionally it is hard to admit it you were wrong to do so. What to do about it? What is a better approach? I think there are options, but I don’t see the church leaders really even looking at that. I would assume they are looking at the shrinking of the church (or at least it moving from US growth to mainly southern hemisphere growth) and it makes them want to hold tight and invest with the expectation that tithing will be decreasing. If I were worried about getting laid off from work, I wouldn’t go make some big contributions to the poor. I think it is essentially the same thing going on in the church.
On Own Now wrote:Seriously, though. How awesome that the Church is seeing past “because that’s the way it’s always been” and is trying to have less collateral damage with its policies.
Is this really good. I too am one of those “convert families” that I and my siblings had to exclude virtually our entire extended family from me and my siblings marriages. My grandparents/cousins/aunts/uncles have never said anything, but I sure felt they were hurt/bothered and it has put a bit of distance between us that is still there today.
I have seen some chats about this being announce was to distract from the negative press coming from the Vice episode released a few days ago that focused on how the church responds to sex abuse. Not sure, but it is a normal PR strategy to pull the limelight away from the negative.
I have heard some say that it would be good if the church allowed people to get married civilly, then within a few days get sealed – maybe even go to the temple for the first time after the marriage. It is just so much pressure in one day and that pressure can get the marriage off to a bad start. I read this last week and loved it. It was so real. If anyone thinks that Elders are angelic, just read this. It was a great read. Old Timer wrote:
All churches report membership numbers as broadly as possibleI agree, but I have to think that most are not as aggressive as LDS – keeping people on the roles until they are 100…
That is why I think it is best to go with more unbiased surveys such as Pew and especially Jana Reiss’ “The Next Mormons”. But those are agreeing that compared to most religions, the Mormon church is doing better than most – even if that “better” is “on the same path as others, but about a decade or more behind them.”
Oh wow. That is hard. About the only thing I would suggest if it was my son was that he can’t put his finger on it, but he just didn’t feel like blessing the sacrament that week. If it were me now, not my 16 year old self, I would just ask the bishop, “have you ever just felt like something wasn’t quite right and you are not sure why?” Best of luck!
