[lordnasahan]

Featherina wrote:

I feel so alone.

Sometimes I feel connected – especially to learning…

I love those “light bulb moments” – when something new clicks.

I wish I could share it with someone – but I dont know who.

A couple of things I found helpful:

1) I confirm that your desire to share is important. After all, we are

social beings, desiring to accepted for what we are… and if not for

that, then as something we aren’t. I know you haven’t stated that

you would consider that as a bad thing, but for me it has been

important to understand that there is nothing “wrong with me”,

like many people would have me think. We all individually have to

make our own standard of truth and stick to it.

2) What helped me through the toughest moments (I’m still struggling,

but at least I know how to deal with it) was talking to somebody

who listens. In my case, it was a psychotherapist. I wanted to talk

to someone, who is not involved in my life and who will accept

everything I say as it is, without putting a “good” or “bad” value to

it. I can only recommend it; it’s important to find one that you like,

though. Mine was the first one I googled

Yeah it costs money, but just the feeling

of being able to share what you’re learning with somebody who listens,

and in my case, was genuinely interested and impressed by the

things I was sharing with her, is for me something now irreplacable.

3) Poking some ice helps; as I first had my doubts, I thought I was alone.

Then I started slowly discussing some of the “milder” problems with

some of the people I know and it turned out that I discovered one or

two fellow Mormons, who had been reading and thinking about the

same things. We don’t apostasize(not quite sure how to spell that word);

we just laugh about a lot of things and have philosophical discussions.

Keeps me a tad more sane.

4) At first I was ashamed to share something like this with my non-member

best friend, because somewhere inside of me I thought I was presenting

the Church in a bad light, but once I did that, it really relieved me; that

there are people outside of the Church that you can actually agree with on

a lot of things without it being apostate or wrong… or even not agree on

things, without having to prove a point. Just conversation. I wish I had more

non-LDS friends Their company is very refreshing.

Just a couple of things that have helped. I can’t really give a point-by-point

workshop on how to deal with this, as I struggle myself as well, but I justed

wanted to share some of my experiences, and maybe somebody finds

something of worth there. I hope you find peace.

Love,

lordnasahan.

[lordnasahan]

Thanks for your tips so far… I was seriously surprised for such instant replies But some of those things you guys said really help

and I guess I just need to learn some of that patience! :silent: Also sorry for the weird formatting of my message, I sent it

from my cell and it turned out weird… I’ll see if I can fix that. Negotiating? Well, I’m trying to take it slowly now, even

though it is killing me since I love direct confrontation (just get it out of your system so to speak), so playing it smooth is not a great strength of mine.

But for example, we are heading to the temple this weekend (it’s a six hours’ ride, can’t believe we’re going), and I intend on not going

to the endowment session but rather do like sealings or something, and when (not if) my wife asks why, I’m just going to tell her

just a LITTLE bit of why it’s uncomfortable for me. Probably not gonna go to the free mason stuff, but most likely just mention about how I don’t feel

comfortable about the signs and tokens and all the other pressuring elements. I hope she’ll accept that. So as to negotiating, baby steps!

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