[mackay11]

Hi newdirections. I’ve just joined the site and can agree so much on the point about this feeling like a safe place to discuss things that would be offensive elsewhere.

I think it’s a real shame that priciples of chastity are taught and applied so poorly in the church. I think it’s a combination of ignorance, awkwardness, embarrassment and prejudice in various doses that leads to Bishops and youth leaders treating the topic very badly.

I was fortunate enough to have a fantastic Bishop throughout my youth who dealt with it in a much more positive way. I offer this, not in any way as a preaching at you, but simply to show that some leaders are able to deal with things more appropriately.

He would teach us that sex is something wonderful. The sexual feelings we had as teenagers were natural and God-given. It was perfectly normal to be sexually attracted to people and there was no sin in that in and of itself. Sex, he taught us, was like your most favourite ever meal. Delicious, tasty, satisfying, fulfilling. Marriage, he told us, was like asking a blessing on the food. Look forward to it, but don’t touch it until it’s blessed, and no snacking before-hand, else that reduces the special nature of the blessed banquet. But, he’d then say with a smile, once it’s blessed, you can feast and enjoy it. It wasn’t in any way seedy or inappropriate, it was a celebration.

As youth we used to joke a little about him and his wife. But truth be told, we aspired to their clearly loving relationship.

I know that doesn’t really help you much at all. In fact it might just make you more frustrated that you had a more heavy-handed treatment. It’s a shame that there’s such inconsistency in the church application of gospel principles based on individual cultural background and experiences.

A few years ago I spent about 3-4 months visiting a councilor from LDS family services. She really helped me to talk about a few of my emotional and personal challenges and helped resolve a few challenging aspects of my personal concerns.

[mackay11]

hawkgrrrl wrote:

That sounds like a crazy lesson! I feel fortunate sometimes to teach a youth Sunday School class. Sometimes I do enjoy observing some of this kind of wackiness. It can be anthropologically interesting. I too have been at the point where it frustrates me. Some wards are better than others. I suspect we’ve all got some great ones to share.

Unfortunately, I often do enjoy feeling arrogant and superior. Maybe if you don’t enjoy it, you’re not doing it right!

Thanks hawkgrrrl. I think there’s a thread in ‘doctrine’ that has a wacky things you’ve heard at church. I’ll go and console myself in there

Thing is, part of my frustration with my new ex-pat ward is how many people spend time talking about the poor ignorant locals around us. Uurgh… I’m sure none of them have any true notion of the beauty in Hinduism, Buddhism, Confusianism.

With that frustration I don’t want to find myself with a similar attitude from the other direction. But maybe for my sanity I should have a silent snort at the craziness and start keeping book of the loopier statements.

[mackay11]

wayfarer wrote:

You are entering a new stage of your faith development…and there are many paths from which you can choose. Returning to TBM status isn’t going to work, and completely disengaging is chaotic…so we say, “go slow”.

I talk of the Middle Way as a stable path where one has defined one’s own beliefs and can find peace in the midst of LDS or other faith systems.

Thanks wayfarer, you’re right. I can’t imagine a situation where I’d be able to be back in the simple, naïve certainty of being a TBM. I think I’m still mourning that loss.

I’m not really a middle way kind of guy. I’m not sure how sustainable that is. I can see three current possible outcomes:

– I’ll leave entirely. I hope I do it with dignity, respect for my friends and family and some ability to have belief in Deity.

– I’ll become an ardent apologetic, earnest to convince others, and myself that it all has an explanation

– I’ll become a (perhaps vocal) reformer on the inside which could lead to church discipline.

I don’t want to do the first, I doubt there’s the evidence to do the second and I question the need for the third as I can’t get over the idea of the church being all right or all wrong.

For now I’ll settle for the uncertainty and limbo of ‘middle way.’

[mackay11]

Thanks all. I appreciate the support.

I went to church today full of the hope of reframing my worship experience. Priesthood was excellent with references to both conference talks, real personal experiences and quotes from ancient literature.

Sunday School on the other hand was driving me nuts within about 5 minutes of starting. We had someone claiming a connection to the second diaspora (sp?) due to a National Geographic test. Someone else talking about blood transformation to become tribe of Israel. And then the teacher read from a section of the Book of Mormon which contains one of the most troubling sections of possible New Testament plagiarism.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to bite my tongue so got up and left without a fuss. I sat in an empty classroom for the rest of SS fuming.

Not sure whether I can stomach sitting in such apparent ignorance every week. I know that makes me sound incredibly arrogant and superior, and I don’t enjoy feeling that way.

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