[Martha]

church0333 wrote:

I have been following the conversation here and NOM and man is there a difference. I am glad that we at least try to see the positive when we can. I think for the most part this conference has given us some hope, not just fodder for snarky remarks.

Agreed. I had to stop reading as the negativity was rubbing off. I am grateful this site is one of positive discussion, even when people disagree.

[Martha]

A lady gave a talk in SM last Sunday and shared a personal experience. Her grandmother was in a nursing home and was not always coherent, but one day told a everyone that in three days she would get to meet her newest grandson. This apparently was not possible due to circumstances and everyone just felt that the statement stemmed from the grandmothers strong desire to meet this baby. Three days later the woman died and sadly the baby died on the same day. The experience was very comforting for the lady giving the talk who lost two family members on the same day. I do think that for those who are leaving this life, heaven or whatever is beyond can be a lot closer.

I don’t have any dramatic experiences but I have often felt comfort that felt like my grandfather watching over me as we’ll as my father-in-law since he passed away a few years back.

[Martha]

Quote:

Second, I am feel extremely uncomfortable with groups of men. The simplest way to explain it is that my personality is much more female and I am honestly most comfortable with women.

Hey, I’m just the opposite. I’m a woman who would much rather be around men. Women just never stop talking. 🙂

I agree with Tim that setting boundaries is important. I hope you can stay with it because the church needs more people like you. We have plenty of TBMs who follow the expected path and there’s nothing wrong with that, but you differentness is needed. You can provide an example of another way to be LDS that will be of value. True, some men (and women) will never get you, but others will and maybe even follow your lead (e.g. an LDS man can be a great caregiver). I have always loved being in wards in mission field areas. Because there are so many converts, there is more diversity. I hope you can provide the diversity that your new ward needs.

[Martha]

I just looked and the initial thing is done with the female presidencies too. I don’t have a middle name. Whatever will I do when I get then call. “I’m sorry Sis. Martha, we were going to call you as The RS General President, but then we found out you don’t have a middle name.

[Martha]

You crack me up Sister Featherina. Loved the link. I’ll have to listen to more of that guy.

Featherina wrote:

I don’t like when speakers begin with, “When the bishop asked me to speak…”

Could be worse. The talk could start with “Webster’s Dictionary defines … as ….

[Martha]

The middle road is hard, for sure. I would like to be all in or all out but have found my path yet. Maybe I’ll take up fly fishing. 🙂 Glad to have you with us.

[Martha]

SamBee wrote:

Kind of a phonetic version of Choose The Right… we sometimes say chew the rice around here… and I’m sure there’s some joke about driving around here.

My husband would love that one. He loves plays on words. Kinda like “we believe in being honest, true, chased by an elephant and in doing good to all men.” 😆

[Martha]

SamBee wrote:

Chew The Rice – indifferent to that one.

I haven’t heard that one. What does it mean?

[Martha]

mom3 wrote:

I One that drove me crazy for years was, “I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it.”

On a couple of different levels. First it was attributed to Jesus Christ – I have no idea when he said that. I can’t find scripture close to it.

Second – It was the most un-Christlike phrase I could think of. I kept imagining an abusive parent telling me the abuse was for my own good and that I would appreciate it

As to the empty chairs one – I also didn’t love or don’t love the physical image of the empty chair. I don’t believe in it. Jesus died for everyone and I believe he has a longer term plan before he decides who gets to sit at the table.

I always though of that one as schmarmy, but hadn’t thought of it in terms of someone being abused. That’s awful with that perspective.

I don’t believe in empty chairs either. Having so many people I love “fall away from the church” (oh, there’s another one ), I am coming to realize is part of my FC. I find the doctrine confusing. What exactly happens to someone who lives a good life, but doesn’t go on a mission or get married in the temple or go to church. I do want my family with me forever. I’ve heard people talk about how there is a greater plan and God will work things out, but is that what the church really teaches?

[Martha]

Earn your spiritual grade? I have never heard this particular phrase of LDS cultural guilt hooey.

I read through your old posts and saw that you are bipolar. I have a son who is bipolar and have watched the pain and torment that the condition causes. I was so glad when he graduated from High school so he wouldn’t have to be forced to get up in the morning. He knows he doesn’t function well in the mornings and tries to schedule work and classes at later times whenever possible. I think mornings are awful for most bipolar people. People don’t understand mental issues and the challenges that come with them. People need more education. If you had a physical issue that caused you not to function in the mornings like maybe arthritis, people would understand, but mental challenges are invisible and people cannot see through their own dark glasses. You didnt ask for this, you didnt cause this. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself. God knows the challenges you face and loves you for who you are right now. My son is starting to appreciate that being bipolar is a part of what makes him unique and interesting and think differently than others. So forget this silly spiritual grade analogy. Life isn’t one big test. It’s a journey, one step at a time and we’re all on our own unique path.

[Martha]

Your experience in archaeology sounds very interesting. Welcome to the board.

[Martha]

blue_bird wrote:

Is this from God? Or is this just a “people” opinion?

blue_bird

On the main page of this site is a great article that may help you differentiate what is from God and what is just opinion or culture.

http://www.staylds.com/?p=326

[Martha]

hawkgrrrl wrote:

It’s been a while since I looked at the BoA stuff. There was a FAIR that had some interesting points. Also, there are parallels to the Book of Jasher which is apocryphal. Here’s a link on why Mormons are hot and bothered about it: http://www.johnpratt.com/items/docs/lds/meridian/2002/jasher.html.

Great article. I also found a similar article with parallels between the Book of Enoch and the

Book of Moses.

http://strongreasons.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/the-book-of-enoch-and-the-book-of-moses/

It’s nice to have some evidences that point to Joseph getting some things right as a seer to counteract some of things he got wrong (I.e.the BofA facsimiles).

I am starting to accept some of his imperfections as a man. I wonder if maybe I also need to accept some of his imperfections as a seer and revelator. Hmmmmmm. This thought may take some time to process.

[Martha]

Orson wrote:

I would also recommend Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman to get a better grasp of Joseph Smith.

For me I say Joseph was definitely a regular human being, he did make some mistakes – sometimes real doosies! 😯 But after that shock wears off and I continue to study him I can’t help but see some moments of pure inspiration.

Is the church perfect? No. And that can be a HUGE disappointment to many of us that were raised with much higher expectations.

I downloaded the book and I am really liking it.

I know I am being influenced by my Mormon upbringing so am wanting to find an all true or all false solution. I want the church to be perfect. I want the foundational leader to be more than he was. I am working through this loss. I’ve made it past denial and anger (mostly) and am thoroughly entrenched in “bargaining.” “Please Lord, show me that the church is true and that Joseph Smith was your prophet.

hawkgrrrl wrote:

There are some things in there that are quite similar to the apocrypha about Abraham which he didn’t have access to.

I have found articles that state there are similarities, but I haven’t found anything that says what the similarities are. I’m interested in this. Do you know what the similarities are or do you have a good source?

Thanks everyone for your welcome and support.

[Martha]

I was married at 19. I knew I wanted children, but was in no hurry. I was raised In a family where a college education was a given. My husband and I continued with school and developing our relationship with each other. I prayed for guidance in choosing a career path and truly felt that I was guided on a path that would be good for me and my family. I had my first child in my mid 20s three weeks after starting graduate school. I balanced school with motherhood and marriage. My husband was balancing those same things. It was hard, but fulfilling and I loved that time in school. I had a second child a few years later. In my chosen carer, I have had the blessing of working full-time or part-time depending on how I wanted to parent. I have tried to be home when my children are home from school. My mother did that for me and I have always been grateful. But my choices have been mine. I have not made career and family choices based on what the church purportedly teaches. And the church does teach that the education of women is very important.

Speaking to the young women, Pres. Hinkley said, “Resolve now, while you are young, that you will get all of the education you can. We live in a highly competitive age, and it will only grow worse. Education is the key that will unlock the door of opportunity. You may plan on marriage, and hope for it, but you are not certain that it will come. And even though you marry, education will be of great benefit to you. Don’t just drift along, letting the days come and go without improvement in your lives. The Lord will bless you as you make the effort. Your lives will be enriched and your outlook broadened as your minds are opened to new vistas and knowledge.

–President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly,” General Young Women Meeting March 24, 2007.

My children are almost grown and I have 25 years of career ahead of me. I have friends who chose to focus on motherhood, but are now pursuing their career dreams with the many years they still have. I feel each person should choose their own path in their own time and in their own way. There is no hurry to do any of these things.

I have found that having children has been, for me, so much more than I could have imagined. Those babies grow up to be real people who are fun and talented and awesome and I am so blessed to know them. I am privileged to be their friend.

But your path is yours and only you can decide what will be best for you and there is no need or hurry to decide on your life’s path today. If you end up following a different path other than the traditional LDS path, you will need to grow a thick skin. I personally have not experienced criticism for working outside the home, but I know that judgment does happen and it is important that you feel happy and confident in your own decisions, which will help you to be immune to the expectations of others.

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