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Old-Timer wrote:
Officially now, both men AND women can be sealed to all of their spouses
Ray, I’m confused. I was always under the impression that a man can be sealed to more than one woman, but a woman can only be sealed to one man. Has this changed recently? If so, where are you getting this new info?
Thanks,
Greg
Hey Andrew, I too am a 31 year Salt Lake City native. I couldn’t help but wondering if I knew any Andrew’s that fit your description. You wrote a very good intro. One of the things that really amazed me when I found this site and other like it is how similar others’ experiences of disaffection are to my own. I really thought I was nearly alone. Anyways, but of luck in your journey.
-Greg
HiJolly wrote:Could happen, certainly – but if so it’s gotta be WAAAAYY out there.
Totally guessing, but I think gay marriage will be legal in all 50 states within the next 30 years. For the next 30 years after that the church will be under some big time pressure to discontinue discriminatory practices against gays, just as they were with blacks. So put it on your calendar: First temple same sex marriage in 2071. I’ll be 91. I hope I make it that long.
mercyngrace wrote:It flies in the face of too much established core doctrine.
I agree, that it would be huge. IMO, abandoning polygamy and granting the priesthood to blacks were pretty darn big, but not as big as this. I just don’t think it’s impossible.
Cadence wrote:Besides I can not understand why homosexuals would even desire a temple marriage, other than to make a point and force acceptance.
I think they would want to marry in the temple for the same reason that heterosexual mormons want to marry in the temple. They would want to be sealed for eternity to each other and to their children (adopted or conceived through alternate means of course). They would want to fit in with their faith tradition. They would want it because they believed that was God’s will for them. It’s like saying in 1975, “Why would blacks even want the priesthood? Just to be defy the system?”
To kind of add to what cwald said: Prior to recent medical advances, children born with the inherited disease, sickle cell anemia (SCA), would die long before being able to reproduce. Yet strangely, SCA is a very common disease in people of African and Mediterranean descent. These children never reproduce, so why wouldn’t the autosomal recessive gene that causes SCA be eliminated from the gene pool? It turns out that if you’re a carrier of the gene (meaning you only have one sickle cell gene, but you’re not affected by the disease) you have a much greater chance of living through a bout of malaria. Sure, on average 1 in 4 of your kids will have SCA if you marry another carrier, but you might survive malaria and be able to have 8 children. It turns out that the survival benefit, in areas overrun with malaria, outweighs losing lots of kids to SCA. As a result, there has been a positive natural selection for the sickle cell gene.
Is there a similar story in homosexuality? I think yes.
-Greg
Fitting in has never been that tough for me. I’m a white, heterosexual, middle-class male. The church was practically made for guys like me! That said, I’m not sure being born and raised makes it a lot easier for me. Fast and testimony sounds a lot like brain washing to me too, and always has. Convert or not, I still have to struggle with the same strange history and uncomfortable doctrines. Anyways, what I really wanted to say was welcome and that I hope you can find all the good you can in the Church and that you can somehow develop the super-human ability to ignore all the stuff you don’t like. One tool I use to endure fast and testimony meeting is my 3G phone. I read the news, ski blogs, and wikipedia articles until the meeting is over. I turn it off for the hymns because that is a part of church that I really like. Kids are a great distraction as well. Good luck in your journey. Let us know how it’s going.
Great story. I really enjoyed hearing from someone who was not “born and raised” LDS. I come from a very different background, so I don’t know if I have any great advice for you. I’ve benefited from reading old forum discussions on this sight. I especially like the introductions. -Greg
Brian Johnston wrote:*Brian bows to the master*
Greg, you are my hero for the week.
Thank you for the kind words. I’m honored.
Heber13 wrote:throw away the ring because it wasn’t what you thought it was.
Agreed. Imagine some one saying “I’ve lost my testimony of the wedding ring. I’m never going to wear that thing again. In fact I had it officially removed from my finger”.
That said I can understand why people struggle to stay in the church after their paradigm shift. The nice thing about the ring (unlike the church) is that I was never taught that the ring was the only true symbol of marriage. Had I been, I could see how I might be upset when I found out that the ring wasn’t everything that so many people told me it was.
observant wrote:I loved this. Thanks for sharing it. I wear both my ring and my husband’s. I don’t want to wear his garments though.
Ha!
😆 My wife wears my thermal g’s sometimes. The ladies’ thermals have this restrictive lace that she doesn’t like. Even when I was more orthodox I never saw a problem with it.
Brown wrote:To be honest, I thought this was going to end up as an analogy to wearing temple garments, which I also don’t enjoy wearing.
In a way it was about wearing temple garments. Do you find any meaning in the garment? Do you like the way you feel when you wear them? Does it help you connect with your traditions? If you answered no to all these question, then don’t sweat it. As I write this, I realize that there may be social and familial complications with “discarding” certain symbols just because you don’t like them. Maybe your spouse will be really upset about you not wearing garments. In which case, perhaps its best to just keep lugging around a symbol that doesn’t have meaning for you. I don’t know the answer. Hmmm… So much to think about.
Brown wrote:I enjoyed this, thanks. Ironically I do not wear a wedding ring and have not been able to stand wearing mine for more than a week at a time. My 10th wedding anniversary is tomorrow and my wife doesn’t seem to mind, so I don’t think it is going to kill my marriage anytime soon. To be honest, I thought this was going to end up as an analogy to wearing temple garments, which I also don’t enjoy wearing.
And I’m all right with that. God (if you believe in God) isn’t upset with you either. I know this is way too wishy-washy for many people, but that’s where I’m at right now.
Jaykay, Welcome. Like you, I lurked for a while, but just joined recently. It is wonderful to have a safe place, and that is what I find here. I hope your experiences are positive as well.
-Greg
