I have been struggling with this issue too, which in big part has led me to the trouble I’m having with my testimony. I feel I need a divorce. I pray about it and have for 17 years, and I really believe divorce is what’s best for me. But everything in the church teachings tells me I shouldn’t divorce. I’m being selfish, I’m tearing my family apart, I’m going against the doctrine and breaking covenants. Maybe it’s because I want to be happy for once? My fear of wanting to adhere to church teachings has kept me married all this time, even though I feel my answer is divorce.