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I had a really hard time sitting through lessons, SS especially. Now that I am in the Primary, church is becoming more enjoyable. What I like best though, is seeing the other members, thinking about the challenges some of them have, and realizing how very blessed I am to be in my situation and to learn from their examples. katielangston wrote:… And I’ve always had doubts, as far back as I can remember. I used to hate myself for them. Historically, I’ve been a bit of a perfectionist and assumed my doubts were because of some inherent unworthiness that disqualified me from having more sure access to the Spirit.
This is exactly how I have felt, although about twice as long as you. Similarly, I have admitted to God what I cannot presently believe. I think it is okay. Although we teach that we are all unique individuals, it seems as though we expect to have the same experiences, the same feelings, the same values, etc. I now see this life as an individual journey. There are many paths to God.
kupord maizzed wrote:
Is this also a place for those “whose experiences are leading or have led them to change their views about their faith”? A place not for the straying but for the journeying? A place not for the ailing or convalescing, but for the healing? Can I be happy here with my religion as it is today even as I await what it may be tomorrow?
I sure hope so.
Hi Orson. Loved your essay on God. This has required a lot of contemplation on your part it appears. I am moved by the definition you have discovered in yourself. In my process of disillusionment, I deconstructed my image of God. As I examined many different ways that various people describe or understand God, I began to doubt that any one or organization could rightly “know” how God is. So my “knowledge” based on lds doctrine disappeared, and was replaced with skepticism. So many attributes of God in the scriptures and other writings just feel wrong to me. I wondered, if so many other religions can define God in so many different ways, why can’t I? But it seems to me there is an element there of creating God in our own image.
Your story gives me some direction in the process of reconstructing my belief in God. Thanks for posting such a personal part of your journey.
