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Before I removed my garments and stopped attending church. I did home teaching on a regular basis, not 100%, but I knew who my families were and generally what there needs were. I went by their homes as my schedule and theirs allowed. I honored there request and their desire, but spoken and implied, for visits. In the end I would consider my self a good home teacher. The problem, I was not 100%, never wanted to, tried to or planed to be. The thing I hated most was my home teacher calling me on Sunday evening at 8pm on the last day of the month to come by. I would not let them, and why would I, they did not care about me, all I was was a number. I think if they did away w numbers and just asked the HT’er what the needs or there families were on a regular basis, and not based on the date of the month, it would be a better program. I gave the message about every 3rd or 4th month I visited. The rest of the visits I would set and talk to the family about life and what was going on. They get the Ensign, they can read. I might say a pray, just depended on how things went. In the end Ifeel that I was a good home teacher. I cared about the people I visited, but did nto care about the numbers. If I did not visit anyone in a month I would report that with out any quilt. I hated felling like I was being forced to do somthing. I got so tired of being a round peg being beaten into a square hole. The church needs to realize that everyone does nto live in the salt lake valley were you can walk to your families homes and visit them in one afternoon. I live in teh south and it woudl take 30 to 40 minutes to get to one family. It took a lot of time to visit people, and I refused to take time from my family to visit someone that really did not want me there anyway. This was more of a rant than a suggestion on how to make it work, I guess I would say do away with numbers and just aske on a regular basis how are your families doing. No reporting, no recording. Just asking what are the needs and doing something about those needs.
I never forced anyone to get baptized, so I have no regrets. I may no longer believe in the church or god, but if believing brings someone else peace and joy then why would I regret sharing the teaching of the church with them, and allowing them to make a personal decision to join. I was a decent missionary, but I was never a great one. I taught the lesson, but never presurred anyone about believing. If they accepted it great, if not I enjoyed talking with them. I had some great conversation with other minister and clergy about religion than I ever had with members. The only thing members taught me as a missionary, I already knew, but those outside of the church challenged me to think about what I belived.
How would anyone know. If you are comfortable with it and it works for you then go for it. I have read somewhere that to meet the requirements for military underwear they have the emblems that can be ironed on the inside so they are not visible from the outside. I am no longer an active member and my Bis asked for my TR when I told him I no longer belived in God, but I still give my son blessing when he is sick. I dare say no one is going to come into my home and tell me I can not do that. Their your underwear, do what you wish to them and live your own life.
asha. I hope things work out for your and your Dh. Your story sounds similar to my DW and mine. I was the one that thought my DW was going through a phase and if she prayed more, studied the scipts more and attended the temple more the phase would pass and we could go back to our happy TBM life. The problem was, I also had lots of issues stacked on my shelf that just needed a nudge to bring the whole shelf down. After a couple months and my wifes phase did not pass and she became even more depressed, I had to come clean and share my own reservations and concerns. I think the thing that helped DW and I, was our mutual willingness to work the issue out together. We are not there yet, but we are much happier now that we have both come clean on where we are. The key to working through any issues of this magnatude is to be open and honest with each other. You also have to be willing to acknowledge your DHs pain and frustration. You only have to acknowledge it, you dont have to take it on as your own.
Anyway, I hope things work our for you, your family and you DW.
It is hard enough to be a member of this church, but it is even harder when you do not fully believe, but it is possible. You just have to make it work for you.
I am a ward clerk and to answer some of your questions. If your names have actually been removed, and if you got confirmation from SLC then they have been, you will need to be rebatized. The missionaries can teach you the discussions but your baptism will be need to be approved by the SP. It may take a little time. I dont think your request has to go to SLC unless you left under questionable circumstances. IE you were apostates or had major issues with the church. Once you have been a memeber for year all of your blessings will be restored. The dates of original baptism and ordinations remain the same. Your 2nd baptism will not be recorded.
I am writing this form memory and do not have the GHBI in front of me so there may be some slight inaccuracies, I have seen it done about 4 times so I think my description is fairly correct. The biggest hold up happens if the Bis or SP changes while you are in the process.
If anyone sees any errors, please feel free to correct them.
But welcome back. I, myself, am at a fork in the road and not sure which path to take.
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You said your wife wants you to “deal with your issues.” Yet, she is questioning her testimony. What is she really asking?She is not questioning my issues directly, but her coming out with her issues forced me to confront my own. I don’t think she realized I had these issues. I had put on a pretty good front for many years. She and I have come up with an explanation that I think applies to many of us. “I wanted to believe, I tried to believe, but I just do not believe.”
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“Next, do you have kids? Are they active with friends that are active?We have one child, a 6 year old son, he really does not like going to church.
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“Where do you live?North Carolina
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“Are your friends mostly active?We don’t have a great deal of friends in the Ward we are in. Our ward is unique, lots of med students that come and go.
