[Off the Rameumptom]

nibbler wrote:

I try to remind myself that the church meeting the needs of my children is indirectly meeting one of my needs

Great point!

I am interesting in reading this book, “Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life” by Richard Rohr. It examines how religions meet the needs of childhood, youth, and young adulthood vs. adulthood and aging. A synopsis from patheos: “The first half is typically about building one’s life: establishing identity, discerning and responding to a sense of calling, finding love and starting a family, and so forth. The second half is more about letting go and loving: mentoring, praying, blessing, and giving to others. If the first half of life is about building the “container” of one’s life, the second half calls us to fill that container with love, compassion, etc. — and then graciously pour it out to those who need it or stand to be blessed by it.”

[Off the Rameumptom]

I have four daughters: two still in primary and two in young women. I have struggled to balance the sexism with not being overly negative toward the church. If I feel strongly about something, I too often say it in a way that puts my husband on the defensive and that leads to other problems. What I am working on is learning how to express my views in a way that doesn’t incriminate anyone or assume the worst.

I think the leaders of the LDS church wholeheartedly want the best for society as a whole and not just the church. However, it is the disparity between where Western culture is and where the church is that makes this day and age so challenging for people who are religious. I don’t really consider myself religious anymore despite the fact that I go to church every Sunday and hold three callings. I suppose religious, to me, means adhering to the religious leaders, which I do not.

I adore the passion in the early church, and I tell my girls often about the priesthood power Joseph gave to women in those days. I tell them how the Relief Society originally had autonomy, and did not have to consult men to make a decision. I tell them that I believe the church will get back to that in their lifetimes.

I really do feel that this church is wonderful for youth. I think it does a far better job at meeting the needs of youth than it does for people who are my age (I am nearly 40). I have begun to teach my oldest daughter about sexuality and being confident and classy with her body while stressing abstinence. We don’t teach them to cover their shoulders–if they choose to wear garments when they are older, they can make that decision. We talk about clothing in sense of classiness (often use the Duchess of Cambridge as an example) and quality fabrics that don’t need to be adjusted constantly. I teach them that they can focus better on school and learning if they are completely comfortable. I don’t teach “modesty” as the church teaches it, and we talk (and laugh) a lot about what other Mormons say on this subject. It’s definitely a cultural construct.

So. . . yeah, like others said, stay LDS. The church is great socially and spiritually for youth in the 2nd and 3rd stages of faith. Teach them more complicated nuanced viewpoints as they get older.

And i love this:

[Off the Rameumptom]

That is a tough situation! I don’t blame you for wanting to vent.

As far as the WoW stuff and the “newfound freedom”, I found this article comforting in the sense of knowing we have plenty of rule-bending comrades out there. Interestingly, the vast majority of non-comforming Mormons are outside of Utah, which I believe has mostly to do with the social aspect of getting together for either coffee or tea for breakfast, or a drink at the end of the day. https://rationalfaiths.com/temple-recommend-status-word-wisdom-observance-contemporary-mormonism/

[Off the Rameumptom]

First of all, thank you all for the warm welcome. I’m sure it’s becoming an increasingly busy job with all the shakers and movers out there!

Second, I am so happy to hear that the church doesn’t condone conversion therapy anymore, and I don’t know how I missed that announcement, but I just googled it, and it was official in March 2016. So, yay! that is an important step . . . I have heard of bishops recommending it in the last few months, but they may be going rogue. Because leadership-roulette.

I LOVE the ideas and suggestions on the speaking out and being authentic yet respectful. I have withheld from commenting in Sunday school altogether because of fear of either damaging others’ faith or being considered on the fringe. I LOVE the idea of drawing the line on culture vs doctrine and LOVE the idea of NOT speaking when feeling confrontational. It certainly would be good advice for my marriage too! My poor husband …

Again, thank you for creating and maintaining this forum. It is such an important place for me right now. Just knowing y’all are out there

And is there a good discussion on here regarding LDS co-parenting when one partner has changed his or her world view since becoming a parent, or should I start one? I didn’t find one in a search.

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