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I was outside yesterday mowing our lawn and I was thinking about how to conserve water in drought-stricken Utah. Never mind my thoughts about how we’ve created a standard for lawns that wastes much of our water supply, I started thinking about our garments. I do our laundry and probably a load’s worth of Garments every week and that’s a load that wouldn’t be done if we wore underwear like the rest of the world. I thought it’s too bad that the LDS population uses more water for laundry than others. I imagine that there are hundreds of loads done every week in every stake that are primarily garments. Anyway, imagine if we could save that water! Imagine if we were a little slower to activate the air conditioning because we’re wearing an extra layer compared to others. Days later would add up in the long run and maybe we wouldn’t push our thermostats so hard to keep cool. Just imagine . . .

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Old-Timer wrote:

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Just let everyone make their own cost/benefit analysis and make their own decisions more often.

I know it might be over-emphasis, but it’s worth noting again that the Handbook actually says that how and when to wear the garment is up to the individual member.

Ironically, in this case, we are the ones who are in agreement with the official Church statement, when all is said and done. Whenever the topic has come up in a group in which I am participating, I say, simply and gently, that the handbook leaves it up to the members – and, therefore, it’s none of the group’s business how individuals choose to wear the garment. If someone pushes back, I simply grin and say:

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I want to follow the prophet.

Those who know me well chuckle; those who don’t can’t figure out how to respond; the conversation generally ends at that point.

Yes, I’d like them to emphasize the “up to the individual member” part and get rid of the “day and night” reference entirely. They send mixed messages.

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Let me just add two positive comments about garments. These are real things women deal with in “normal” underwear that aren’t an issue in garments: 1) VPL (visible panty lines) and 2) wedgies.

It’s true. There are some benefits. And if someone wanted to keep wearing them as they are now, more power to them. Just let everyone make their own cost/benefit analysis and make their own decisions more often.

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Personally, even with all the misgivings I have about garments, part of the most frustrating things is that they are rarely discussed by the Church. We spend more time wearing them than reading the scriptures, attending Church, you name it and yet talking about them, especially in a non-positive way is generally considered taboo. The unspoken rule seems to be “just get used to them”. For many of us, the feelings of being unheard, ignored and essentially censored leave us feeling unloved and bit like we don’t belong.

Recently there was a survey done on the garments. While the focus was on fit and fabric, I imagine that many wrote in to express their feelings on the garments themselves. I’m interested and admittedly holding my breath in hopes that we will actually see them addressed in some fashion. I’m not saying that they have to change anything. Just address the issue!

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I’ll admit that the garments are probably the aspect of the Church that I have the hardest time with. Like others have voiced, I love, love, love the temple and all that it teaches and represents. There just seems to be a disconnect when it comes to having identical feelings for the Garment. Yes, for some it’s all one and the same and that’s great. For me, sometimes I wonder. I didn’t need a 24/7 reminder when I got baptized or sealed to my wife. I don’t think I would lose perspective on my temple covenants by not having them as a reminder. Anyway, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts.

I love my wife and I’m attracted to her. Would I be more attracted to her if she were a bra and panties all day? Yes. I don’t even try to touch the small of her back or her legs/thighs anymore. A pair of 17 year olds going steady would probably have more skin contact (and access!) than us on a typical night of cuddling! Would undressing at the end of the day together be more exciting? She’s occassionally shown me what she looks like in just a bra and panty and it was way more enticing. I wouldn’t attribute it to novelty either. Seeing her in Garments as a novelty on our honeymoon did not have near the same effect. Am I jealous of non-LDS husbands? Yes, a little bit.

I didn’t grow up in the Church and I’m not sure if it’d make a difference seeing my mother wearing them but I think it’s a sad that the Church inserts these as a barrier. For many, they are unusual and foreign. Those characteristics have a negative effect on intimacy. One of the largest reasons for a change might be its perception from Non-members, investigating non-members to be specific. In today’s internet world, the garments are not a secret. Whether I were investigating or especially if my spouse were the one investigating, the introduction of the garments would be a major red flag to investigating further. Let’s face it. No one wants their religion to dictate their underwear much less the spouse’s!

What would I suggest? Something closer to the Scout policy. Scouts do not wear their uniforms 24/7 but should adhere to their virtues regardless. We could reasonably expect the same for adult LDS.

So we’d wear them to Church activites like Sundays or when we’re representing the Church in an official capacity. If anything, it’d make them more meaningful than just part of a daily routine.

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