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To summarize, I wouldn’t leave my house if I didn’t have to. (Okay a little too much of a generalization there.) I am like Dash. I enjoy home teaching when the family I go to likes to have me come. I go in cycles about doing it generally. I am currently in a cycle where I do it, but, that is as much because the family I home teach basically brags that I come, so, yea, I would feel guilty for not going. That said, I like going to that family. Without knowing it, they have helped me with my FC in that they have shown and continue to show me that they can be happy in the church. (Sometimes, I don’t feel you can.) I personally believe the visit doesn’t matter, it is all about showing that they have someone they can come to for help if they need to. If you can get that without visiting, BONUS! In my opinion you have received excellent advice and I just wish I could world advice in such an easy way. I just wanted to add something on the Home teaching subject. Talking with the bishop on Sunday he made a comment to the effect, we all know not everyone will be home taught. My point here is to second the thought that if six is too much go through the list and help the one that needs help or the ones that help you, even if they don’t reduce the number of people on the list. Sometimes it isn’t about how many you try to help but how many you do help. (i.e. it is better to be there for one person than to pretend to be there for six.) I also home teach 6 families and I do not get to all of them every month, I just don’t think it is possible. He has been going downhill for some time. He didn’t stand for the last conference (if my memory is correct). This has the sound of a fair well talk. Has anyone else noticed that it seems all the sessions are letting out about 5 minutes short of the 2 hour mark, and all the prayers are relatively short and not miniature talks by themselves? Having been a fan of your posts in the time I have spent on here, I appreciate you posting this. I have noticed a recent trend where you have stated you would like more contact. From your initial post, it sounds like the gentleman came (drove 15 minutes) and was a little hesitant, and if he wasn’t before, he left with that hesitancy. I think you may have missed a great opportunity and I don’t mean by accepting the calling. It was an opportunity for you to communicate what you would do in the church or not do in the church. Granted, I can see why you were a little upset. I am one who doesn’t call or visit to just chat and if someone stops by to do just that I feel like a “project” because that is not what I like to do. I guess what I am saying if I was the bishop, the only time I would come talk to you is when I had a defined reason, I wouldn’t want to waste your time. (This is one of the reasons I never want to be a leader as I know I would drive people away.) That said, I think Ray has hit nail on the head. What do you want going forward? (Or as one of my all time favorite quotes from Disney “It doesn’t matter, it is in the past… the past can hurt… So what are you going to do?”) To me this can be an opportunity to open dialog. (Albeit a shaky start.) Depending on what you want, I bet they think the ball is in your court.
As for HT, I think most of us have been in the church long enough to know that it is rare to get home teachers that come and even more rare to have HTers that come to families that actually want them to come.
I don’t ever remember discussing it in a church setting. I do remember discussing it in a family setting. My parents said this, “know this, we will always love you, that doesn’t mean we will support a drug habit.” That pretty much ended the discussion. Of course, my parents were also the type that said, “this is our house, if you want to live here, you live by our rules.” The “work” on the mission was definitely more than I expected. I also am an introvert so contacting people was challenging to put it mildly. That said, I also look back and see it in many ways as easiest two years of my life. (When else are you going to know that your paycheck will always be in the bank on this given day in the month? Also, I woke up every morning with a good idea of what I was going to do during the day, I am not a big decision maker. I execute well, decide, not so much.) As for telling people what to expect, my family has always been very open an honest about what happens on missions with the nieces and nephews. I even was asked once by my mom if I “liked” my mission. (I am quite cynical in nature so I do not paint rosy pictures on many things.) I even had that one companion that if the “spirit” had strongly told me to push them in front of a bus, I wouldn’t have hesitated, much. Best two years, when I got off my mission, yes, since, no.
All that said, the interactions, the growth and learning have definitely helped me in my life. Specifically, what I learned on my mission about people and about the organization of the church has helped me with my FT.
This topic has peaked my interest. I am now curious if anyone knows the rationale behind this? The more I think about it the more I think, “why give to a charity?” if the state counts accepting help from a charity as a means of deducting their own support, I think I will adjust my thinking to the idea that my taxes are charity. (Don’t get me wrong, I can see how receiving funds from a charity can be abused, just donate everything to a charity and have it give it back to you.) I thought the whole point of a charitable contribution was me deciding how my money was spent. I don’t know maybe someone can help me with this thought process. I remember hearing this commencement a while back. I hope I can remember it better in going forward as I think it has a very really and profound thought. Remember “This is water” I just tried to donate on line and the “make my donation automatically repeat every” button can’t be changed… right now it is set at “month”. I would like to make a one time donation without the hassle of figuring out how to turn it off… is there a way to do a one time donation? I heard this one today. I think this one fits well. Quote:“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.
Be one who nurtures and who builds. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.”
Marvin J. Ashton (May 1992)
Quote:Any way to stop the same people answering the same questions every month?
Back when I was more TBM, I used to throw out what I thought were crazy answers or questions just to see if I could get others to comment. Unfortunately, I failed 95% of the time. I even tried answering all the question and reading all the scriptures in one SS class one sunday, just to see if I could… one person volunteered to read one scripture before I could… I guess my question is how do you get people to speak up. I have since stopped speaking up unless it is obvious to me that no one else will and I start to feel sorry for the teacher. To me it is obvious you have to create and and promote an environment where they feel comfortable speaking up, but, how do you do that?
Not having dealt with Bi-polar or had family with it, I can offer no real words of wisdom on that subject other than welcome and I hope we can help in some manner. On the subject of idolized leaders, I agree with Curtis. I had a youth leader that I idolized, then, on one scout camp he picked on one of the less popular kids, along with the other kids. I lost a lot of respect for him at that point in my life. I basically had written him off. On another camp a couple of years later he came along as a chaperon (one of his kids is my age). We went on a slot canyon hike, the issue being one of the kids in the group wasn’t the most athletic and the hike turned into a more difficult hike than we expected. This leader carried one of kids for the last mile of the hike. (Note: this leader was known to have bad knees from playing too many sports when he was younger.) I don’t idolize this leader like I used to but the second experience helped me to understand that everyone deserves chances and that when an idol falls it is possible to learn from and respect them. While you may never respect Elder Holland as much as you did, I think most of the traits and wisdom that led you to idolize him are still there and if given the chance, like my leader, you may learn to respect him again.
I do not use Reddit much other than for news and the like, but, with all things on the internet, much of it is what you look for. For instance, there is a pro-LDS subgroup (that held the AMA last week), and there is also an ex-mormon subgroup. That said it was only relatively recently that the pro-LDS site had more subscribers than the ex-moromon sites… When I went looking I had to kind of look twice. The link Bran posted only has the “pre” AMA comments. Too find the “real” thread, I had to type StayLDS in the search bar. (in my computer it was on the right side). Then, I ended up with two threads the old one and the new one. I hope helps people find it if they are interested.
