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Nice, real real nice. That is some serious PDA. Thanks for all the comments and welcome notes. It means a lot to me. The good people on this and other boards kept me sane through some tough times.
Thanks DJ, I hoe no one gets the wrong idea about me trotting out my mormon heritage. I have never shared that info with anyone before. Very few people, even my closest friends even know my Grandpa was a GA. I just thought it might explain myself a little better. I am not trying to impress anyone by sharing it.
I would love this, A couple of good Craft Beers would make sitting in church a lot more fun for me. Then I thought about what would happen if the Pharisees in my ward were drunk at church. They are A-holes when they are sober. They would be extraordinarily psycho with a few less inhibitions, I can just imagine the really thoughtful things they would be spouting. On the other hand their inspiration might be more interesting, probably not anymore accurate, but more interesting for sure. It would take more than a literal following of the WOW (drinking beer, a tasty and mild drink made with barley) to fix that problem here.
Mom3 your response was very touching and insightful. God is Love is a remarkable woman. Thanks to all for the support you have been for my wife. She and I have both benefited from this board. My first response when these things happen is generally much harsher and probably wrong and would be considered felony assault in most states. I suppose it is a good thing that I haven’t been in Ward Council for a while now. It is nice to hear from people that don’t think we are the crazy ones.
14 Fundamentals at work here maybe? The more I think about these the more it bugs me. These really illustrate for me what was being discussed about the D&C being ignored in this thread.
Here are the most egregious and related alleged fundamentals.
2. The living prophet is more vital to us than the standard works.
3. The living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet.
4. The prophet will never lead the church astray.
I made a mistake by not sharing my feelings with my wife sooner. She knew something was bothering me long before I dared confide my unbelief in her. I am lucky to have a spouse that is so supportive of me and tolerant of my heretic views. She is a free thinker and quite unorthodox in her views, although more towards the believing end of the spectrum. I am more towards the unbelieving end of the spectrum and have really cut down my participation in church.
This journey we are on has freed both of us in different ways, and also changed us. I wish I had shared my feelings with her much sooner, I just didn’t know how. It was hard enough just processing them for myself. I know not everyone has the same situation at home that I do, but for me candid, honesty is almost always the best answer and sooner rather than later.
This is a fantastic read. I wish this could become a general conference talk. I was a GD teacher for 4 years then a YMP for 2 years. I was a year into my YM calling when my eyes were opened. I struggled through Ward Council and PEC for another year while I was personally in a dark and very angry place inside. I am still hyper-sensitive and easily provoked on some things, 1-1/2 years after the fact. I have scaled back church attendance to SM and I sub as a primary teacher when needed. I just can’t go to SS or PH quorum right now. I was and still am at the point where there was almost no calling I would have accepted. I went calling-less for about 6 months, when I was asked to be the ward employment specialist. Maybe this one was inspired of God because it just might have been the only thing I would have even considered doing. I accepted after thinking about it and it has been good. I get to interact with folks and help people that really need it and have zero expectation or responsibility to preach or teach anything I don’t believe in anymore. It is a great place for me to be in right now.
Maybe a similar calling could work for you Darkjedi?
This is a very satanic photo [attachment=0]ImageUploadedByTapatalk1377221892.245494.jpg[/attachment] Maybe several things…. Discipline to delegate appropriately, some things an effective leader just has to do themselves and that requires effort. It is easy to hand off things to others, but If you delegate too many important things you risk being uninformed or less informed with critical details in people, processes, and organizations that can hurt your ability to lead them effectively.
Maybe it takes discipline to follow up with the one delegated to in order to ensure the activity was completed as you intended. Sometimes it is easier to do it yourself?
MayB you could be married to one of my brothers. Your situation is also my reality with uber-TBM parents. My mother loves me, but is still disappointed after 2 decades that I chose not to serve a mission (at the time she would have rather I died than not serve, she thought/thinks she failed with me) My kids each get personal subscriptions to the Friend or New Era from them as gifts for Christmas. The family gets General Conference DVDs. We throw them away. Every family function turns into a church guilt trip (Mom’s speciality and Dad humors her). I have had years to develop an immunity to it, but my kids haven’t. My wife and I try hard to never do that to our kids and to debrief or redirect them when it happens.
Needless to say, we don’t have a great relationship, it is superficial and forced at best. My wife and I are baffled by and tired of it. Really not my idea of an eternal family relationship, it is pathetic and sad and one we are trying hard to avoid in our own family.
My parents are good people in many ways, but so bigoted and judgmental in others. It will likely kill my mother when she finally knows about the level of my disaffection from the church.
Strange that total devotion to the church can produce such extremes of good and bad behaviors at the same time in people. Seems wrong, doesn’t it?
I am the Pa that was lucky to have “God is Love” as a Ma with me on a Trek (Hello dear, nice to see you posting your usual uplifting stuff, you are a good balance for my pessimism). I am way sensitive to anything that seems like coercion or propaganda and that was the hard part of Trek for me, as some of it was that. There was none of that crazy water or food depravation stuff like the OP listed on our trek. If there had been, I would not have complied with it anyways. I have no problems standing up for myself or those in my charge. In fact I didn’t comply with anything I didn’t feel good about. It was a good experience overall and we love(d) our kids and still enjoy seeing them around the community. We were the “no-pressure family” as one of our trek kids put it to his actual father who was also a Pa on the Trek with us. We just tried hard to help them feel accepted and show them you can be good people without having to be zealots.
The best part was the quality time with my wife. It was fun to spend that many hours in a row with her, something that hasn’t happened since. I don’t know if I’ll do another one of them or not but I have no regrets about the one we went on.
