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Welcome Kinderhook! I share the thoughts expressed and hope you will find this community helpful. I also went through a “crisis” very similar to what you describe. You should feel good about having positive desires toward the church, and in wanting to enjoy participation again in the future. That desire is they key – what we talk about here are the mechanics of putting the key in the door, unlocking it, opening it, and walking in. Some of the things that I have personally found helpful in this process are (stated in general terms for all who may read):
Look for the Good – as JustMike said. Our focus makes a difference, as the old saying goes “attitude determines altitude.”
Meditate on the Metaphor – Look for “non-literal” meanings in everything you hear in church, and what you may read in church materials. Don’t worry about if your meanings are the same as what other members will take out of it, try to get something useful out of topics for yourself personally. This step was vital for me in my personal journey, although some meanings have begun to evolve – the initial strictly metaphorical interpretations were important for me to embrace.
Consider your overall purpose as building a positive relationship WITH the church (as KM alluded to) instead of feeling like a puzzle piece that needs to fit INTO the church. Personal responsibility and ownership play a role here, I think you’ll also find a lot of statements in the church that support this mindset of personal ownership. There is a good article here:
http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2005_Faith_Cognitive_Dissonance_and_the_Psychology_of_Religious_Experience.html I like how Dr. Ulrich says disillusionment is a positive thing, we should want to rid ourselves of illusion. Even though I recognize that the church is not exactly what I personally thought it was in my youth – I see it as a positive organization and one that I want to be involved with. Wendy’s relationship stages are also helpful to consider, looking toward stage 4 or “renewal.” This is not “going back” to the “honeymoon” or any previous stage, it is instead moving forward to a new and mature positive relationship where differences can be more effectively dealt with.
I think it’s also essential for people to let go of the “absolutist” or “all-or-nothing” mindset. Too often a crisis will move us from thinking “it’s all true” toward “it’s all false.” Reality will place us in the middle of the two extremes. With time and practice in cultivating the right thoughts we can learn to have charity for those who see and speak from the absolutist mindset. It is a stage in spiritual maturation (I also highly recommend Fowler’s “Stages of Faith”).
I’m sure there are more points that escape me at the moment, you’ll find them pop up here and there I’m sure.
Again welcome!
trill wrote:I had been told many times growing up that you shouldn’t read dissenting opinions or interact too closely with people falling away from the church because you would get caught up in all that and such would be damaging to your testimony.
I also experienced those types of warnings in my youth. As I got older I could not understand how a lie could be more powerful or more persuasive than the truth, it seemed to me that a clear set of eyes attached to a heart in the right place would easily see through error in favor of truth. Obviously there are many shades of gray and things are not clearly black and white – but I still think “truth” is ultimately more persuasive than “error”, and I don’t think anyone should fear any type of learning or education.
Fortunately I have found many references in church teachings that support this point of view. Now I see these “warnings” of my youth a product of culture and misplaced fear teamed with an incomplete understanding of some topics.
Yes, an acronym reference is always helpful. I remember not seeing the reference for DAMU for the longest time and I wondered if it meant “DAMnation University!” (In a reversed sarcastic kind of way of course.) I love that ink blot analogy. I think it explains an element of how “God works through man in his weakness.” Hi KM, I think I struggled with something very similar myself for a while. What I was afraid of is how other people defined the word, and what they would project onto me from making the claim. Since then I feel like I have gotten past most of my concerns related to other people’s definitions, and I just try to understand for myself what I can take from anything.
Personally I also have no hesitation claiming that I am Christian. Although I have serious reservations in drawing the line between literal and figurative too far over in the literal territory. I believe Jesus was the master teacher, and that he willingly gave his life to place an exclamation point on his teachings. My goal in life is to follow the principles that he taught – and to try to understand the fullest meanings of those things. I do see the “salvation” of mankind as coming through those principles that he taught (love, charity – if the world can save itself from destruction this is the only way) so what else would apply besides (potential?) savior and redeemer?
kupord maizzed wrote:I tend to think of the atonement of Christ as being the atonement he brought to pass by his ministry that changed the world. Those of us who are touched by his memory and teachings are brought toward oneness.
I am with you on that one, and personally think it is a valid “testimony.”
Zlatan wrote:One of my concerns is how do you approach giving priesthood blessings when you feel (and don’t believe you get) no inspiration at all, knowing the person you give it fully believes it’s the God speaking through you? I have the experience that many, especially true believing sisters, are believing spoken words are literally from God… Although myself I always feel I’m just thinking the words up, sometimes I even start thinking about what to say beforehand.
Hi Zlatan, and welcome!
I know what you mean, I think it is a very common question (though perhaps unspoken) in the church. My personal thought regarding inspiration vs. my own personal thoughts – what’s the difference? I don’t mean to sound derogatory toward inspiration, but if you think about it – if God could inspire you during a blessing, then what’s to prevent him from inspiring you as you prepare for the blessing instead? Even if you don’t see it or understand it as inspiration I think others rightly may, and personally I don’t see any problem with that. Remember the saying that God works through man in his weakness? Even if you’re saying to yourself “I don’t know what if any power is behind this action, but I sincerely wish the best for this person and hope that their personal belief/faith can sustain them – and that this action helps to boost their faith and give them hope/peace/comfort.”
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that situation “if your heart is in the right place.” On the other hand, if it was approached in a way that was intended to pronounce outrageous blessings as a proof that they won’t come true – to harm faith – that would be a “no float” in my book.
Best wishes.
Old-Timer wrote:Unfortunately, too many people conflate human representatives with God and think it’s enough to follow the representatives – without granting that He might have many “representatives” outside of Priesthood authority.
“While I believe all that God has revealed, I am not quite sure I understand what he has revealed, and the fact that God has promised further revelation is to me a challenge to keep an open mind and be prepared to follow wherever my search for truth may lead … And while all Mormons should respect, support, and heed the teachings of authorities of the church, no one should accept a statement and base his or her testimony upon it no matter who makes it.”Hugh B. Brown as quoted in “An Abundant Life” This comment makes perfect sense when we realize that all humans, as human, are fallible. Nobody is exempt. Everyone can (and does) make mistakes. We all interpret the light and knowledge that we receive through this imperfect medium that we inhabit as mortals. We cannot help but be influenced by our circumstances and prior understanding. If we realize how God works with us according to our present (human and flawed) understanding then it should become increasingly clear to us how limited our comprehension is – and has been through time.
This is exactly why I appreciate quotes like:
“Mormonism embraces all truth that is revealed and that is unrevealed, whether religious, political, scientific, or philosophical.”– Brigham Young, JoD 9:14 Thanks for an interesting question Valoel, you make some very good points. When I first read your title: “The First Law of the Gospel” I immediately thought of the word that I use to describe what the gospel is to me. What does the gospel mean to you – in a word if possible?
To me it is definitely LOVE. Like Jesus said, love encompasses the whole of the law (two great commandments). In my mind we will be obedient where it counts if we truly learn how to love. The commandments in their truest form are simply detailed ways that we can show our love. Charity is the pure love of Christ, and he who possesses it will be well at the last day (Moroni 7:46-47)
Another possiblility may be that Joseph experienced people talking about him for all his “spiritual” experiences and “gifts”, which probably included all his various uses of seer stones, etc. – basically combining them all together in his mind. Nonny wrote:Orson wrote:To me however, the point is still relevant – that views and doctrines do change, and the goal of the LDS doctrine (at least from the early days) is to be aligned with what is actually true (as far as can be determined).
I like the way you stated this, Orson. I hear you saying, rather than believing that the church has ALL the truth, that we are moving TOWARD the truth.Yes! Thanks for stating it more succinctly. I like the saying “the church is truer today than it ever has been.”
