Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Heber13 wrote:
Just remember that it isn’t all true or all false.
Even though this directly contradicts church teachings? If it isn’t all true then what is the benefit of staying in the church as opposed to participating in any other life-improving organization? (Maybe a topic for a different thread.)
OP:
Which church values do you have that you think other people won’t share that could impact dating? There are a lot of great people that aren’t LDS. I imagine the only thing you’ll have to reconcile is the LDS vs. non-LDS view on sexuality. Unless you can be 100% TBM I would advise against dating an LDS girl unless you can be open about your doubts and this person accepts and respects your point of view. At some point one or both of you will likely have to choose between each other and the Church.
If that works better for you, go for it. IMO taking some time to step back and figure out what makes you happy and laying out ground rules for your participation can only help – especially if you want to stay in the Church. As far as your questions go, you aren’t wrong and nobody won anything. The gospel is a burden because of the way the church implements it. Too much focus on assigning blame and demanding things from people (works) and not enough focus on helping people follow Jesus Christ (grace).
GBSmith wrote:I remember when she wrote about this at the time and wondered then as now about how the other ward members felt about her being gone and their having to pick up the slack with visiting teaching, compassionate service, callings, etc.. I can see how the fatigue and burn out would force a change but a total sabbatical says to others (like the bishop) that you can get along fine without the church and association with members and you don’t feel their ministry in your case is important. And then when you come back it’s “hope things are ok and you can call me to something now” and I’ll be here for you until the next time I decide to bail. I don’t have near the negative feelings about this that I did then but there’s still something about it I don’t like.
Kinda like the difference between being TBM or a practicing member from this site? Your sabbatical is just a little different than hers. I take her at her word that it was either step back for a year or step away forever.
Old-Timer wrote:The thing is, Paulista, there is nothing objectively inaccurate in that video when it comes to the translation process.
In the interest of full disclosure, this (honesty/integrity) is one of my key issues with the Church. In my mind there is a big difference between being honest and “nothing objectively inaccurate”.
Quote:Lying is intentionally deceiving others. Bearing false witness is one form of lying. The Lord gave this commandment to the children of Israel: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16). Jesus also taught this when He was on earth (see Matthew 19:18).
There are many other forms of lying. When we speak untruths, we are guilty of lying. We can also intentionally deceive others by a gesture or a look, by silence, or by telling only part of the truth. Whenever we lead people in any way to believe something that is not true, we are not being honest. https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-31-honesty?lang=eng I think “you should have known” is the verbal manifestation of a TBM putting this event on their shelf in some way. I can relate to what you wrote. The problem is we all should have known but the church was telling people this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RGgggC0014&feature=youtu.be&t=6m51s Roadrunner wrote:
My question – if you were a local leader similar to me and you had to read this but didn’t want to – how would you approach? I live in a somewhat conservative, fairly educated ward, and although unorthodox views are tolerated there aren’t many in my ward with unorthodox views.
I would read the following quote from Pres. Uchtdorf starting with the paragraph labeled “The Bottom Line”:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng I think the 4 or 5 paragraphs there apply to everyone on both sides of this and many other debates.
My approach has basically been a version of this: Uncertain wrote:I haven’t attended church in several months because it hasn’t felt safe/right for me.
It’s hard for people to argue with that. There’s a line between being authentic and sharing too much information; I don’t believe sending a letter will help in the long run.
Old-Timer wrote:Yes, the brother of Jared story is used by some to say it can be that way for everyone. I think that is nonsense. I believe it is just as bad an over-application as saying everyone can get an answer to prayer through a burning in the bosom because that’s how Oliver got his.
I think there is a difference between the way people receive answers and what appears to be a principle regarding faith.
“And the Lord said unto him: Because of thy faith thou hast seen that I shall take upon me flesh and blood; and never has man come before me with such exceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have seen my finger.”
I think the context matters. But for people that go down the Denver road it would be pretty easy to use this as a piece of their puzzle.
Old-Timer wrote:It also is incredibly damaging, imo, to claim that anyone who has enough faith can be visited by Jesus -.
Brother of Jared?
university wrote:
I would try to get away from Mormondom completely to take a break, but I live in Utah, and the LDS Church impacts so much of my daily life and my loved ones.I feel like this everyday, but it feels like nothing changes. I feel the same. It’s not getting worse, but it’s surely not getting better.
Any chance you can move to a new neighborhood/area in Utah? You’d be anonymous in a new ward’s boundaries and it could give you the space you need to step back, reset and focus on what matters to you.
I’d like to think God understands our situation and doesn’t expect us to take on more than we can handle.
TataniaAvalon wrote:Somehow I have a feeling my FB will be full of memes and quotes from Elder Pearson and Pres. Uchdorf’s talk this morning on grace will be forgotten. Some TBM’s really love that retrenchment stuff. Oh the sacrament talks based on Elder Pearson… help me now
:thumbdown: I’m tempted to send him (Pearson) a few talks from Q12 this conference with a note saying: thought you might want to read these before you slip into apostasy.
😈 Well, I was logged out by the site and my whole rant was deleted. As an institution the church practices behaviors (dishonesty, racism, sexism) that would not be acceptable in my own life or for people I would trust to work with my daughter. On some level by sending your children to church you are guaranteeing they will be lied to, emotionally abused and manipulated just like you or members of your family were growing up. And, all that will happen because they are normal but not old enough to defend themselves from adults who aren’t teaching the gospel but who are teaching their own interpretation of it with a few out of context scriptures or doctrines of men thrown in for good measure.
Why would you submit a child to that?
DarkJedi wrote:
Is your concern for the safety of your daughter a fear for her physical safety? That is alarming, if so.
I’m probably on the over-protective side, but the people and the classroom didn’t meet my standard for “appearing” safe.
SunbeltRed wrote:
Whatever my kids ask me I will be open with them, will also tell them this is how the church sees it, this is how your mom sees it. You will have to come to your own conclusion, and I love you no matter what your conclusion is as that is secondary to you being my child.SBRed
I like this idea.
Quote:Admin Note: This excerpt was deleted. The comment it referenced was a blatant one directly opposed to our mission – perhaps the most blatant in the history of this site. Paulista’s response has not been touched.
I can relate to this too. I would never wish a crisis on anyone. I think it is easier to deal with everything if you find the Church later in life. Indoctrination starts pretty early and has consequences, both good and bad.
My wife and I appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts. You all have a lot of great ideas and experiences. Speaking for myself, it makes it easier to step back and evaluate my approach when I can read what others would do or have done.
