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  • in reply to: New face and name #127568
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    You look awesome!

    in reply to: Not your usual garments question #126577
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Great post, Valoel. I have considered making my own garment tops that I could wear over my bra. I have not been able to make any of the current tops work for me as I would like. When I wear them under my bra, the seams hurt and my bra doesn’t stay put. When I tried wearing them over my bra, they kept falling off my shoulders. So, I have been thinking about buying all white spandex type shirts with the little cap sleeves, sewing the markings in, and wearing over my bra. Its not like I am trying to avoid wearing the garment, I am trying to make it work for me and be more comfortable.

    So, I wouldn’t have a problem with what you suggest. You are trying to honor the directive to wear the garment. I believe that God knows our hearts and how we wear the garment is something that I believe is between us and the Lord.

    As a side note, I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers that employment will soon come your way. Hang in there!

    in reply to: Hi, my intro #125730
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Welcome UC. I don’t post much, but I read often. This is a good place. I understand your love of our church. I feel the same way.

    in reply to: Joseph Smith: The Hero #125664
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Thanks Ray. Trust me, I would not want my mistakes broadcast for all humanity, so its not Joseph’s indiscretions that anger me. I would say that those actions disappoint me. I am angry because of the pain I have seen my husband (and so many others) go through, due to a myriad of issues related to Joseph and his life and actions. I have read so many accounts of marriages in trouble, families ripped apart. Its heartbreaking. I have some very specific reasons for believing. But for those who lack such reasons, I have come to completely understand how they become disaffected. I finally reached a point where I let go of holding DH responsible for his own disaffection. I have emotionally packaged up all that blame and frustration and handed it over to my Heavenly Father. I will let Him distribute blame as He sees fit. It just hurt me so deeply to admit I had feelings of anger for the man I was taught to revere (as in hold in reverence). But, at the same time, it has caused my love for my husband to increase in ways I never thought possible. He is my reality. Our children are my reality. My church is just that, my church. But my family is my life.

    in reply to: Joseph Smith: The Hero #125662
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Just getting around to reading this thread. Appreciate all the different comments. I grew up loving the Joseph that I learned about in primary. But, because of DH’s disaffection, that fairy tale is gone. I am a mormon, always will be. But I have to say that, at this point in my life, I am a little angry with Joseph. Just admitting the anger is making me cry……Things are different now. I am active, and I cautiously believe. But its just different now.

    in reply to: How do you think others at church view you? #125238
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Our ward is so unorthodox that we fit in just fine. SP was visiting our ward a few weeks ago and heard my comments in GD. He was not pleased and proceeded to chastise me in front of the class. 👿 Then, after class he cornered me and chastised me some more. 😈 Ironic since DH is the disaffected one, not me. Also, what I said wasn’t even all that controversial. :( It was kind of a trip.

    in reply to: D-I-V-O-R-C-E #125281
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Hey Wendell,

    Hugs to you. I know the decision to divorce could not have been easy for you. But I remember you stating how unhappy you and your wife had become. I so hope that you can continue to heal and be the best father you can be to your children. I wish you well.

    pinkpatent

    in reply to: Forced to keep away #124797
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Hello mustangsally91,

    Welcome. I am so very sorry that you are experiencing this. My husband no longer believes, but he does not try to keep me from my faith. He is supportive, just like I was of him while he was going through his disaffection. Have you spoken to your bishop? I pay my fast offerings every month for the very purpose of helping people just like you. If you need support, and have no family to turn to, the church should be your next lifeline.

    Take care!

    in reply to: Choosing civil marriage when temple marriage IS an option? #124448
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Hi Asha,

    I am not sure that the church will change its policy on who is allowed inside the temple. I am hopeful that they will soften their position and allow, even encourage, same day civil weddings that include everyone. This would truly be a blessing.

    DH and I were not married in the temple. We had a civil wedding and then were sealed a little over a year later. DH had not been a member for a year, so we couldn’t go to the temple, but even if we could have, it was not what I wanted. I had always wanted a civil wedding. I wanted to walk down the aisle,etc. So, that is what we did.

    Looking back, I am so glad that we did not get married in the temple. I think that if we had gone to the temple, excluding DH’s family and friends, that DH could have become bitter about it during his disaffection. Instead, we share the same beautiful memory of our wedding day. I remember seeing DH waiting for me, with tears in his eyes, as my father walked me down the aisle. Every memory of that day is sweet and so tender to both of us.

    Civil weddings are not for everyone. Some couples are perfectly served with a temple wedding. But for those with the need or desire for a civil service, accommodations should be made.

    Asha, have you considered renewing your vows with a civil service? Many people of all faiths are doing this more and more.

    in reply to: Still here…barely #123933
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Hi asha,

    (((Hugs)))

    I was wondering how you were doing, so I am glad that you posted. Not glad to hear that things are not on the upswing. :( I have to agree with rix that alot of this is a major defense mechanism on the part of your DH. He probably doesn’t even know its a defense mechanism or that the idea that you are going through a phase would be insulting to you. When DH came out to me, I hoped and prayed that he would change back, I was trying to find information to re-convert him back to believing. It took me awhile to figure out that nothing like that was going to happen. Now, I have fully accepted his non belief. I hope you can sit down with DH and tell him that your beliefs have nothing to do with your love for him and DC. Tell him that you are trying to remain somewhat active in the church for the sake of him and DC, but that the support has to go both ways. He needs to support your position and not try to diminish your standing with DC.

    Good luck, and keep us posted. (As far as testimony meeting, just go to the bathroom alot!) :D

    in reply to: Somewhat seasoned #123760
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Welcome!

    in reply to: The story of Green Apples #123640
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Welcome Green Apples!

    You have really faced some challenges. This is a good and safe place to talk about the church and gain strength.

    pinkpatent

    in reply to: MisterCurie #123601
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Hey MC,

    Welcome! I am so glad you joined us here. This is such a great group. I am sure you have discovered that there is a broad range of opinions and views. I love it. I really look forward to your comments, as I have already enjoyed your wife’s.

    pp

    in reply to: Jordan #123172
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    Welcome Jordan! I agree with you on the Beatles, but confess to loving the Rolling Stones, too. :D

    in reply to: The 10 Year Itch? #119283
    pinkpatent
    Participant

    I am so happy that you are finding some peace. I have so enjoyed your DH’s comments on FacesEast. I look forward to hearing from you on this site.

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