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Those are both good examples. I think the R rated movies thing is for a couple of reasons: the church is more international and has different rating systems, and acknowledgment that you shouldn’t let a movie ratings board with their own standards and motives decide what is appropriate for you.
OTOH there is much more of a focus now on youth wearing more modest clothing. As a youth I wore tank tops and shorts above the knee all the time and no one batted an eye. Both of which are frowned upon today.
I think acknowledging blessings is good as far as it makes us grateful for what we have, especially when there are difficulties and challenges in life. Like the fairy tale about the king that needed the shirt of a happy man to be cured of his illness. His servants searched the land for a happy man, and finally they found one, but he was so poor that he had no shirt. To say we were given these blessings as a reward, especially for a specific action, is quite unpalatable to me. It seems that it would lead to thinking that you are better than others, which seems to be quite an ugly thing.
Quote:The hardest part of getting over hurt is the message entwined with the arrow that hurt you…not the hurt of the moment. Look really hard at the assumed message you are wrapping around the hurt. Dispute it. I believed the message I got from a hurtful experience was that I was a terrible leader, and this really hurt even more than what the person did to me.
How true this is!
Isn’t that one of the reasons abuse is so hurtful to so many people, it leads them to think so many hurtful and terrible things about themselves and the world.
Quote:So if God doesn’t answer prayers to restore lost limbs, or to change sexual orientation, or for world peace, or to save someone from bankruptcy, or for that pretty girl to like me, then what kinds of prayers DOES God answer?
I think the answer to this question that makes the most sense to me is:
Quote:I feel god gave us each other to answer our prayers more then from directly him. If we each owned up to our abilities, talents and resources a lot more prayers would be answered.
This brings me closer to thinking along the lines that God is fundamentally a manifestation of people at their best.
Many doctors working together have made life better for people with missing limbs, and have given hope to many couples with infertility issues.
Many good people working together have tried to spread peace, love and understanding around the world.
A long time ago a made a rule to not pray for anyone that I’m not willing to help myself. I am thinking that I need to expand that and change the very way I pray to focus less on petitioning God to do things, and more on what I can do.
One of my favorite children’s authors, Patricia Polacco wrote something to the effect of: Just because something never happened doesn’t mean it isn’t true. She expanded on that at a book signing I went to. She talked about how the truth of a story or a book is in telling of it. When you sit by your grandfather and he tells you about his younger days, the truth of the story is in the relationship that is built as he tells you, the ideas that he inspires in your mind as you listen, in the value the grandfather feels as the story progresses. The literalness of the events that happened is not relevant to the truth of the story.
Many of her books are autobiographical or historical. They are all true, even if some of them didn’t happen.
I think as a church we put too much emphasis on the origin of The Book of Mormon, convincing ourselves that it really happened, searching for historical traces of it. Instead we should look for the truths in it. Some find truth there, some will not.
Quote:So I miss the belief in a divine safety net. But I don’t miss the frustration of wondering why God isn’t answering my prayers or the exasperation of wondering why God is giving the things that I asked him for to other people.
That is exactly how I am feeling right now.
Also previously praying was a way for me to mentally focus.
ie: It is starting to rain, this hike will be very difficult and more dangerous in the rain.
Old Way: God please make it not rain until we are done with the hike
New Way: I have no control over whether or not it rains, but I can control when the end of the hike comes by moving as fast as I can so I can either finish before it rains or spend the least amount of time in the rain. I can also be prepared with appropriate gear for the rain. If it does rain, be more careful on rocks that I am concerned will be slippery, and take time to enjoy the differences between seeing things in the rain and in the sunshine.
The new way seems to be a healthier approach. There is an interesting difference in humility.
Old way: God is in control of all, if I acknowledge that and ask him for something I really want maybe he will give it to me.
New way: The natural world is vast and produces results that are hard for individuals to control or even predict, we need to be prepared for and learn to appreciate it.
To me, the greater humility is in the second.
Quote:than the myths of a bunch of shepherd-priests who tried to guess at the origins of the world and life
I’m inclined to give Moses a break on the creation.
Imagine that an astrophysicist and an evolutionary biologist had to explain the total origins of the earth, from the initial singularity to the present day, to one guy.
Then imagine that person had to write it down, from memory, in less than 10 pages.
That original writing is lost, but it is passed down by hand copying and re-translating into dissimilar languages over centuries.
Are you going to end up with anything that is remotely recognizable as the true account?
IMO the purpose of the Genesis creation myth is to firmly establish monotheism. The details really are lacking, but the main point that comes across is that there aren’t a lot of different gods in charge of the earth, just one. (You can disagree on the truth of this point, but I think that it was the purpose of the story.)
I would love that. I am doing a similar thing as I am reading the scriptures. It is really very helpful to read them and find out what they say, not what people tell you they say. It would be great to get others ideas as well. Your SP and Bishop are exercising unrighteous dominion. You need to chill them out. Grin and bear it through the week to get what you need, and as others have said, don’t share your negative feelings with others who they will hear it from.
Other than that, I don’t have any good advice for you, but I sympathize for your situation.
And after this, if you need someone to come in and verbally beat them up with a potent blend of candid observation, irreverance and sarcasm, I’m here for you. That is one of my gifts of the spirit.
Quote:For me, it really is that simple. I have competing choices that can’t be proven, so I choose the one that appeals to me the most.
This is the exact reason that I believe the afterlife is a great university, and upon arriving I will be handed a course schedule. I have already chosen:
Guitar Basics taught by Jimi Hendrix
Communications 101 taught by Abraham Lincoln
Physics team taught by Issac Newton and Albert Einstein (although I have heard that Newton was a dreary lecturer)
No one can prove I’m wrong, I want to be right, so there you go.
I have been thinking about you all day. I hope you can work through things. Its great that you are going to the temple on Saturday. IMHO, the most important covenants you make are to your husband, I wish you all the best. And let us know how the endowment session goes, it is a lot to download at once.
I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug. You haven’t failed God. The plan is for us all to come to earth and learn from our experiences. Reading about the life of Jesus, he treated “sinners” with love and compassion.That is because every one of us is a “sinner”.
I don’t think of life as a test, but as a school. Our job here on earth is to learn what is Good and what is Evil. This is a really complicated thing, because the actions that are good in some situations are evil in others. Somethings we can learn are good and evil just by being taught. (I don’t need to burn my neighbors house down to know it is evil, etc.) However the vast majority of things we have to actually experience to know if the are good or evil. Obviously in that journey we are going to mess up a lot, repentance is there to patch things up when we do.
I hope this isn’t being to personal, but for someone to be celibate when engaged to someone that they already have a relationship with is amazingly difficult, especially since your fiancee doesn’t share that standard. I would focus on living the law of chastity as if you were married, being true only to him, as it will be when you are married. Your fiancee sounds like a great person and it is wonderful that he is so supportive of you.
A friend told me that they were in a fashion design class at BYU and a guest speaker was the MAN in charge of designing women’s garments. I do wish there was a means for people to constructively express their concerns about the design of the garments to people who would really listen. There is so much that could improve them without altering any of the critical elements.
