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I echo Ray’s response! Great letter! I hope this Bishop realizes he owes you a big apology once he reads it!
Thank You all for responding! I called him back and left him a message!
Thanks for the challenge Brian, I’m going to take you up on it! I’m just leary because my last HT’s were very by the book and thought it was their job to ensure their teachee’s believed just the way that they did.. and used the time to voice their views on what I should be doing with my life. Prior to them I have always had great HT’s and I’m hoping this time is no different! Though I will have to ask that if they bring a lesson it’s a general one on faith or charity!
hawkgrrrl, Awesome Story! I hope to follow the example of your Mom!
Ray, that’s exactly what HT should be!
I never thought about it that way before! Thanks Ray for giving me a new insight into redeeming the dead! Its nice to see so many who don’t take the Story literally. I was under the impression that the church did & always encouraged to teach it that way. I love the idea that I am Eve, & it’s a beautiful symbolism given in the Temple acting that out. I agree, if it doesn’t matter how JS translated the BOM then why don’t we talk about the seer stone & the hat anymore? Why do we teach investigators an altered version of Church History & claim he used special glasses to translate the plates. I appreciate his view of those that are questioning, but I also feel like he’s blaming those who have questions that couldn’t be answered for missing the mark. It’s not a fair assesment!
Thank You all for responding! I appreciate each of your perspectives. It’s getting pretty close to a year now that I’ve been inactive, luckily my Home ward has only sent out a couple of Elders once to visit me!
I miss having a spiritual home, I visit the UU church about once a month & to be completly honest it’s been great getting so much time back in my weekend! But I do feel a void in my life. I miss the peace I used to feel in the Temple, I miss the inspiration, I miss the community. I don’t miss the pressure, the judgment or the need to look and act just like a good Mormon should.
Maybe I should just force myself to go next week!
I’m not really sure who Jesus was either. I don’t doubt that he literally existed, but these days I feel more comfortable seeing him as a great example than the Savior. Bring back an old topic here, I’ve been wondering about this myself lately, I can rephrase the questions to make myself more comfortable, but I have a lingering feeling that reminds me that although I may then be comfortable the interviewer would not be if I shared my interpretation.
I agree that my journey is mine and I am responsible for it, but doesn’t my membership in the church say something to the general public as well as the other members in the church? what I mean is, if I remain ‘Mormon’ that means people think I believe the BOM is scripture just like the Bible, JS was a Prophet, restored the Gospel, Mormonism is the only way back to HF presence through the ordinances of the Temple, etc. Also other members may think we mean the same thing when we say the church is true.
I don’t know that I want that kind of misunderstanding. I also don’t feel like it’s terrible that every once in awhile I enjoy going out and having a drink with friends, (1 or 2 max) yet if I stated this in a TR interview I’d be denied the recommend.
This may fall into the take your own advice column (especially given my comment below) I’m wondering if I should tell my new RS Pres about my struggle. She was my VT companion before she was called as RS Pres, and lately I’ve been busy with work and volunteering so I haven’t been at church or activities much. Which has lead to her calling me nonstop! She calls to schedule VT apts, to see how I’m doing, to see why I wasn’t at church, to let me know what I’m missing, what activities are coming up, the RS lesson, the list goes on and on.
I’ve made it clear I’m busy, what I’m up to, even that I’m moving my records from the singles ward to my family ward, but she keeps calling! I trust that she’s doing it from good intentions, but I need her to stop.
Should I share my struggle with her and let her know where I am at and that I no longer wish to be contacted?
1topen wrote:Quote:Will this feeling ever go away. Will I ever fully get over the injustice of it all!
I hope so! If you get over it first.. you have to promise to tell me how you did it!
I’d love to say that the judgemental looks don’t bother me.. or that saying screw you under my breath undid the hurt of the little comments I get, but they still sting!
Sometimes I really wonder why I still put myself through this, then I’ll attend a great church meeting where I feel so loved and wanted.. but usually I return the next week or a couple weeks later and feel just the opposite.
Sorry, I’m really at a loss for an answer to that one!
Ultimately You have to decide if you want to share your feelings with your Bishop, RS or both. (Maybe I should say you get to instead!) 
I’ve been in the same place before, in fact not long ago, after I’d been in my current calling for awhile and had been immersed in a study of Church History. I struggled for months and finally went to my Bishop, I didn’t disclose the specifics of what I found or the questions I had in detail, just that I couldn’t answer if Joseph was a Prophet or not. He was very supportive & I wasn’t released from my calling. (Surprisingly!)
I haven’t shared my struggle with the class I teach, but I do say I don’t know when questions come up that I can’t answer given my current perspective and I try to share some of what I’ve learned in non confrontational ways when opportunities come up.
I feel the same way you do about pleasing people & wanting to be liked.. I too care far too much about what other people think about me! (I’m hoping that goes away soon as I turn 30!)
Since I couldn’t say that I had no doubt that Joseph was a Prophet I was not allowed to renew my TR. I’m not even sure how much of the Temple I believe is necessary for salvation, but it was a place I used to be able to feel at peace, it’s hard not being able to visit, and it’s worse when other’s incorrectly judge me for being deep in some sort of sin that would keep me out of the Temple.
The only advice I can offer you is be true to yourself.
I don’t remember anything in the Temple about the WOW. Yes, it is a question asked to gain admittance, but as far as the covenants made during the Endowment Ceremony, it’s not included. I no longer think its wrong, if you are of age and chose to partake in an alcoholic beverage. I have a few from time to time and I don’t count it as a sin. I do think getting drunk is a sin, as it’s harmful to the body and potentially others if you were to say drive.
I do consider smoking a sin, because it’s harmful to the body, but then again I’ve struggled with smoking for years off & on, I’ve talked to my Bishop about it before too. I don’t really see where the church would need to get involved, unless they wanted to help, as far as to judge me, I don’t really need that I already feel pretty bad about it.. and plan to quit again!
I see the WOW as helpful instruction, but I don’t know if it was meant to be a commandment, and now that it is, I only see it being enforced if someone messes up on the ‘No’s’ included, no one follows up to see if you’re following the other council. I don’t really know how that would work, but I do think we need to put more of an emphasis on the ‘do’ side of the WOW.
Take this for what it’s worth though, I’ve got 50lbs to lose and I usually work about 10-12 hours a day so I’m pretty rushed and eating healthy is something I try to do, but usually falls by the wayside once I’m at work and have skipped breakfast and I’m starving by 2.. and thinking taco bell is quick and close for lunch!
These are the kinds of messages that I can’t get past either. I want to attend a church that is encouraging & uplifting, I want to go where I find a place to serve and be served.
Everyone has offered some great advice, but ultimately (and correct me if I’m wrong, if you don’t feel this way too) I don’t know how I can keep participating in the church when ‘they’ believe it’s all or nothing, meaning ‘they’ have it 100% correct without exception and everyone else has part of it.. and even worse is trying to lead you astray from the truth we have!
I don’t know how much I believe the Prophet can’t lead us astray anymore, it doesn’t seem possible to me to see him as human and a man of God and think he can’t make mistakes that could affect the entire church just like Joseph did. Not to steer this conversation away from the topic at hand but I see us going astray (at least a little) in the Prop 8 mess. Under President Hinckley the message was one of love & tolerance for our gay brother’s and sister’s, under President Monson I see us becoming more like the Mainstream Christian denominations in our hatred for gay marriage and our you must vote the way I do to be considered a member in good standing!
