[Roadrunner]

Wayfarer,

Thank you for pointing me to that series of posts. After seeing it I skimmed it and will spend a little more time on it later. There were some answers that I hadn’t considered. This is the type of stuff I find helpful.

[Roadrunner]

DBMormon wrote:

One suggestion for trying to figure out how remain believing is to see how others put the puzzle together.

There is no one better then Teryl Givens in my opinion in separating what is true from all the peripheral things that happen and are said

this podcast is awesome

http://mormonstories.org/terryl-givens-an-approach-to-thoughtful-honest-and-faithful-mormonism/” class=”bbcode_url”>http://mormonstories.org/terryl-givens-an-approach-to-thoughtful-honest-and-faithful-mormonism/

I love part two and three the best. with three being just super!!!

At the end of the day the Holy Ghost rely has to be where truth is found, but Givens gives some ideas I have never thought of that fit well into how I needed to better view the church.

Thank you – I’ll see what Teryl has to say.

[Roadrunner]

Dear Ann,

To answer some of your questions.

Could you give some concrete examples of being open about your beliefs without sharing doubts? Maybe I should have said I’m trying to share my beliefs without imposing them.

• Two days ago in Sunday School the idea of evolution came up and how it’s contrary to doctrine and just plain wrong. I raised my hand and said that there is no official church position about evolution and that I know many people in good standing who support it altogether. I also said there are a lot of things assumed to be doctrine and which aren’t at all and that it’s our job to figure that out.

• Last week my 14 year old daughter asked me if canned green tea is against the WofW and if she could try it. We sat down and read the part talking about hot drinks and I said I personally don’t see how it’s against the word of wisdom (nobody seems to know where the coffee / tea interpretation came from and it’s not documented) – and though I don’t drink it, that it’s her decision.

• My family is going to visit the Mountain Meadows Massacre site in a few weeks on our trip to Utah, and maybe drive through Colorado City. I plan to use it to teach my older daughters (12 and 14) about some unsavoury aspects of church history and so they aren’t surprised by it in the future.

• When I bear my testimony in church I leave out mention of Joseph Smith because while I know he gave us the BofM, I struggle with him much past that.

• This summer I was asked to teach about the priesthood to our YW. One of the YW asked why women can’t have the priesthood and essentially my answer was “I just don’t know – and probably nobody does.” Not a particularly inspiring answer, but I think it’s the most correct answer that I know of.

• Last night in family home evening we were talking about the BofM and I said that’s one of the stronger aspects of my testimony and that other aspects aren’t as strong.

• My oldest daughter started high school this year and my wife and I pulled her aside and told her this is the time to figure out who she is and what she wants to do with her life. We laid out a few basic rules like absolutely no drugs, alcohol, or sex, but she had to start figuring out things for herself including her own decisions about the church, what kind of career she wants, what type of person she wants to be, etc.

• When a meeting starts talking politics I try to steer it elsewhere. I live in a politically conservative area and this is hard to do sometimes.

• A funny, true story. My Bishop asked me to draft a letter for people wanting to leave the church formally (a couple of folks had asked and he’s a good man and tries to respect their agency). I was done drafting the letter when my wife walked in and saw what I was writing. She thought I was writing it for myself and she didn’t get angry but simply said, I wish you would have told me you were doing it. I am open with my wife and don’t try to convince her of anything.

My thoughts about parental responsibility. I’m no expert but I just try to tell the truth whenever I’m asked a question, of course some judgement is required when dealing with children. I take turns on weekly dates with my kids and I sometimes ask them if they have any questions and we discuss them frankly and I try to tell them when I don’t understand something. I feel it’s my job to share as much truth with them as possible and to acknowledge when my understanding and/or historical interpretation seems unclear.

Regarding staylds and if it’s helped anyone. I can only speak for myself that it’s helped me. For some reason the article “How to Stay” resonated with me. The temple recommend questions seem very general (vague?) in some cases and I don’t know if that’s intentional by those writing the questions, but I feel that I can honestly answer them in that context.

[Author]

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