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nibbler wrote:
that a single man was failing his obligation by remaining single. Sometimes when we talk about singles in the church we talk about them as if they were single by choice.
I think I am single mainly because I don’t think my past and general traits is something to torment an LDS woman with, and that I would be better off pursuing in the world instead. I feel like I would be just damaging an LDS girl with what I have done/am doing/etc and so that it would be best not hurt anyone else.
Tiring and Draining because I know little of the people there, I don’t feel really connected to anyone there much at all, and I don’t really see any of the single ladies being interested in me. I have heard or read stories about LDS girls approaching guys for certain things (or hitting on them really) but it hasn’t ever happened to me. It makes one feel very undesired, that one isn’t really someone that they would like or be interested in. Don’t take it so seriously, because it is the best way a person has of making anything you say or do mean nothing. When you react badly to mockery, you make yourself into a mockery and no one will take you seriously. In the “Can’t take a joke”, too uptight and serious way. Tell people that they shouldn’t say nasty things that aren’t true, but shrug off the other comments. People will try to mock things so they don’t have to take it seriously or give it power. Think about if you had some people just laughing off the Holocaust; it is about make the object matter less, as a sort of defensive mechanism.
People make fun of Mormons because they want to not have to take seriously anything said because then they don’t really have to pay attention anymore. Don’t take the comments personally, It is not your task to defend whether anything that happens is humor inducing or not.
Edit: We may take offense more because we have a “Persecution Complex” from being persecuted earlier and so immediately identify with anybody saying anything disparaging as “persecution”.
(Nothing I am saying is probably anything anybody wants to hear actually. But I will still leave it here for a bit perhaps before erasing it.)
The current speaker at 2:00pm my time ( a few minutes at most before) mangled TSM’s name. Called him “Monsler” then “Monson”. It felt she was rushing through the name, being either uneasy or uncomfortable talking before people. Her talk was starting to feel like she was rushing to finish it though to me. I thought that people could pray for calmness, so they won’t be overly nervous or something. Joni wrote:Ugh, I hate this song.
Also, I thought that we had given up the idea that today’s youth had somehow been saved for the latter days. I know that was really big in the 80s and 90s.
Who else will be there to preach the gospel to the Klingons or Romulans or Vulcans, or (Shudder) the Ferengi? Someone needs to take the gospel to the real aliens. Not the Mexicans or others, but aliens from other planets.
Roy wrote:Thank you for sharing this TED talk.
People use addictions as an escape from bad life situations. The antidote to bad life situations is (to a degree) connections.
I have long maintained that our church is not very forgiving for people that mess up. Someone said that two types of people are successful at church – the saints and the liars.This can be seen really clearly in the Singles problem in the church. It is stated frequently that there is simply not enough guys that fit X criteria because they have done Y at Z point in time.
Rob4Hope wrote:This TED Talk also applies to pornography/masturbation problems as well. There are multiple forms of “addiction” (if such a thing really exists), and lets not negate that one.
There is a crusade in the church against this “problem”…and it spills into all kinds of other areas.
And, I bring that up because of all of the “sins” out there, the one that creates the most shame IMHO is PM (Porn/Masturbation). This one, above all else, seems to drive individuals underground–they hide it, deny it, lie about it, and by doing that, begin to self isolate.We all need connection according to the TED Talk, but is there even an open and safe environment for (you) church members to actually connect and get help? The 12 step program of the church for PM is, from many I have spoken with, ridiculous: there is no sponsorship, no phone numbers are exchanged, and no program for connecting in any way outside the group exists. Members are to look to God for all their needs.
If you have the PM problem, don’t ever expect anyone to ever consider you worth loving and you can expect to be viewed as being worse than pond scum or horse crap by people. Also, don’t ever consider it worth while to try to have a relationship with someone of the opposite gender that could involve love or more; it will never happen and you are a fool for believing it.
Only Peter Priesthood guys have a chance of marrying a LDS Girl/Woman; everyone else has no chances.
hawkgrrrl wrote:Prepare to throw fruit, but the thought continually occurs to me that the reason women are staying in more than men is that hardly anything is required of women, yet women are “entitled” to be cared for by a man who has to be worthy of her despite the fact that the only thing the woman is required to do is just show up and have a uterus.
I thought a brain rather than a Uterus was required, but the former required more use and was employed far more frequently than the latter. How often are women really using their Uterus compared to their brains?
I am sure I will be ready to marry an LDS girl/woman once I get rid of all baggage or problems that could cause any pain, so she won’t have to put up with it. One can’t bring one’s failures and past mistakes into the relationship, now can we? Better that I remain single until the problem is fixed than hurt someone, seeing how you only get one chance at Eternal Marriage. Constantly hearing a message about how one is not worthy, based on one’s life actions/past history and despite any attempted changes, to marry any of these LDS Girls/Women does not encourage one to date these women since you don’t fit the needed Peter Priesthood paradigm. Why go after people who you know want you and whom you would only hurt for being you? What is the point? It feels better to date those outside the church, since one is closer in terms of equal value there.
I think we put in our own spin on things, but I think that God teaches in the way that will make us learn what we actually need to learn. If you want someone to learn how to run into burning buildings and rescue people, you don’t teach them to have panic attacks when there is smoke or fire. Okay, that analogy didn’t work well, but God knows where we need improvement and those areas are different for everyone even if they have similar problems. Maybe for some souls suffering is needed, while for other souls they need something else to encourage the changes/improvements to make. Someone that is good at making people happy by interacting with them doesn’t work well when dumped somewhere they can barely interact with anyone because they don’t use their skill as much or maybe they need to be dumped like that because they need to learn to use their skill at making people happy in a better fashion or with more wisdom. Not all difficulties in life have to look difficult, for some having everything going so well can be challenging in its own right.
LookingHard wrote:
I have heard that Mormons are great neighbors when they are a small %, but get enough together and it can flip to be a lot less great as neighbors.That’s because they start to form a mob and can have the social attitudes that gets provided reinforced. When others approve of what you are doing and they are doing, it is easier to do more of that. It’s how we get the “Everyone is smoking” despite it being false.
Rob4Hope wrote:
I got 3 automatic fails! I ran a red light, I ran a stop sign, and I ran a pedestrian off the road!He said: “OK,…I guess you are ready to go and get your license!”
I did!
This could only work in Utah. The people are crazy like that…
Rob4Hope wrote:Had 3 nightmares last night. What a pleasant and beautiful night!….(NOT!)
This is why I always pray to have un scary dreams in my prayers before going to bed. I pray to “Have only unscary dreams”. It helps I guess, I don’t have nightmares as I don’t know exactly if something is a nightmare, but it doesn’t scare me, though the dream may be startling. You could try that out and see if it works.
I think God gets a kick out of tormenting me with dreams because mine keep falling into one of two categories: Either some kind of fortune telling/seeing future events or weird, completely nuts ones that make no sense, even with trying to figure it out. I don’t get dreams to help me work out problems, unless my mind/brain ‘s idea of fixing problems requires completely bizarre things to occur. I will try to explain. Fortune telling dreams: I had a dream about my brother riding his bike where he ended up in an accident later. I dreamed it first, then it happened. I dreamed about stuff that ended up in books/movies (rarely) that got released later. I had a dream about the 9/11 attacks, but it was context and confusing, but it mostly happened. I had dreams that were conversations I ended up having that occurred where I dreamed that they would. The words spoken in one of those dreams was all spoken up until the point where I deviated in the moment from the dream. Sometimes during the event I get Deja Vu/or sense that I had dreamed this and knew exactly what would be said. Or in the case of books/movies, I knew what would happen next and it did. If I do have a dream of the future or something that feels like it would show up in a later book (like having a dream about something that ended up showing up in a harry potter book before it came out), there are great odds that my dream will be accurate. Close to 90% or more.
Completely bizarre: The rest of my dreams are nuts and almost none of these seem to contain anything that would actually help me in some fashion. There is rarely anything coherent or something that was similar to another one. I have been woken up by a dream (it made me wake up because it disturbed me) that didn’t happen again when I went back to sleep, and at others time I have had a dream wake me up, then continue or start earlier (dream events happened earlier, like before the actual events of first dream, then covered first dream events) from the previous one. Some dreams I remember really strong, and it is in my head with additional material appearing due to me being awake.
The only major thing I have noticed is that I am not able to tell the difference, but if it was future stuff then it ends up (usually) happening. It annoys me a lot.
mom3 wrote:I can’t tell you how many married women I have talked to who on their wedding night/honeymoon were overcome with fear. This over intense presentation creates a whiplash effect. Yes, they are married and sex is legal, but it has been so taboo-ed and so “sin next to murdered” that when it’s allowed there is misery of another sort.I have read material that suggests this gets called “good girl syndrome”. Helpfully, the Church teaches it willingly.
The Church has chosen to teach sex and sexuality, while parents have decided to just let them. Of course, the Church doesn’t actually know how to teach sex/sexuality in any kind of healthy way, but that’s beside the point. The Church teaches what it does, some people are fine while others end up with major issues and parents act like the Church is fine for talking about stuff. Rather than it being the responsibility of parents, not the Church which shouldn’t be teaching anything if it can’t teach healthy material. The Church, for all of its “good intentions”, tries to help, but I think it doesn’t succeed at times. The presumption that “It’s the Church” saying it and therefore it must be right is common. I think we should consider that if the members are not perfect then how is the Church perfect? I thought that when Jesus came again, he would perfect the saints and Church.
I think we completely misinterpret the counsel mainly because Alma mentions the Harlot and we then assume he is only talking about that. We end up ignoring the rest of it. Most seems to be about how Corianton failed to serve as a missionary, at least to me. Alma said earlier to Helaman in Chapter 36:14
Quote:“Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction;
It is also mentioned in Mosiah 27 about how Alma encouraged others to follow after his manner of iniquities.
Alma explains fully what the problem is. Going from versus 3 on (after Alma chastised Corianton for boasting in his own strength and wisdom):
Quote:“3: And that is not all, my son. Thou didst do that which is grievous unto me; for thou didst forsake the ministry, and did go over into the land of Siron among the borders of the Lamanites, after the harlot Isabel.
4: Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. Thou shouldst have tended to the ministry wherewith thou wast entrusted.
5: Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?
6: For behold, if ye deny the Holy Ghost when it once has had a place in you, and ye know that ye deny it, behold, this is a sin which is unpardonable; yea, and whosoever murdereth against the light and knowledge of God, it is not easy for him to obtain forgiveness; yea, I say unto you, my son, that it is not easy for him to obtain a forgiveness.
7: And now, my son, I would to God that ye had not been guilty of so great a crime…good.
8: But behold…last day.
9: Now my son, I would that ye should repent and forsake your sins…these things.
10:
11: Suffer not yourself to be led away by any vain or foolish thing; suffer not the devil to lead away your heart again after those wicked harlots. Behold, O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites; for when they saw your conduct they would not believe in my words.
12: And now the Spirit of the Lord doth say unto me: Command thy children to do good, lest they lead away the hearts of many people to destruction; therefore I command you, my son, in the fear of God, that ye refrain from your iniquities;
13: That ye turn to the Lord with all your mind, might, and strength; that you lead away the hearts of no more to do wickedly; but rather return unto them, and acknowledge your faults and that wrong which ye have done.
15: And now, my son, I would say somewhat unto you…his people.
16: And now, my son, this was the ministry unto which ye were called, to declare these glad tidings unto this people, to prepare their minds; or rather that salvation might come unto them, that they may prepare the minds of their children to hear the word at the time of his coming.”
In chapter 41 verse 9, and verse 14, Alma says:
Quote:“9: And now behold, my son, do not risk one more offense against your God upon those points of doctrine, which ye have hitherto risked to commit sin.
14: Therefor, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually;…you again.”
Alma finishes speaking counsel in verse 30 of chapter 42.
