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Oh, and to answer the original post by Wendell (since my first response wasn’t really in response to anything)… I think you did the exact right thing. Aren’t we taught to seek the counsel of our elders? I think the worst thing you can do when a child asks for advice is to lie to them. You told the truth, that can ONLY earn respect and admiration from your son.
I had a companion early in my mission that only went because his parents wanted him to and bribed him to go with the promise of a new truck. Serving with him was the absolute low point of my mission. The only time he ever spoke with any kind of conviction was when he talked about how much he hated the Church and hated being on a mission. He was a problem for everyone he served with and I always felt bad for the mission President because he constantly had to move him around to different companions, knowing that he would drag down anyone he served with. Now to be fair I’m pretty sure this guy was a jerk well before he got on his mission. Wait, that’s not fair at all… 😈 My ONLY point in saying this is that if you go for the wrong reasons you aren’t helping anyone. One of the problems with the church today is the stigma people receive for not going on missions; when if fact not going can be a wise decision too depending on who you are.
To be honest, I’m not sure why I’m here yet. I came here because I don’t like actually going to church anymore but I feel like I have to or should go. I don’t even know how to describe where I am anymore or where I fit in with the church. Part of me wishes I just didn’t care about it at all, that it was never a part of my life. Another part of me is happy I’ve had the church because I think on some level it has made me a better person. I can tell you there are things I HATE right now about “being a Mormon.” 1) I hate that belonging to a church I have grown up in and loved for a great deal of my life makes me feel like a bigot now. Both my wife and I think the church is so very wrong in the way it treats homosexuals yet there is nothing I can do about it and I feel powerless to create change within the church. This whole thing makes me feel like a tiny cog in a huge machine, I’m screaming away that something is wrong, that something is causing pain to others around me but the giant machine can’t hear me and doesn’t care anyway.
2) I hate the feelings I have that if I don’t believe in something, that if I have an issue with doctrine, that if I don’t go to church; than well that’s it for me I will miss out on all the great blessings “God has in store for the faithful.” I used to think this was just a problem within myself but I don’t think it is. The church and my family have drummed this into me, believe and you will be rewarded with great rewards, don’t believe and you only get the “other prizes available” option. I guess a better way to say it is that I really want the Celestial Kingdom but I don’t think I can be Mormon enough to get there.
3) I hate that there are so few people I feel like I can talk to about these things, I hate feeling alone.
There are more but I can’t think of them right now. I know I’m not here to “solve” any of these problems that’s for sure. But I come here almost daily now and just read posts – maybe just to feel a connection with others who are willing to admit that life in the church sometimes doesn’t make sense to them either.
Thanks just me. Hope to hear from more of you. But let me just say that I’m not putting this up hear as a “lets all bash the church” post. I was just curious about it. I was sitting here thinking, you know this is really why I have a problem with it and I got curious… do other people feel the same way? If not, what are their views and opinions? I really don’t want people to read this and think I’m just trying to get a bunch of negative posts. I suppose all I’m really trying to do is satisfy my curiosity.
Just to add a quick tidbit that I have always found interesting about Joseph Smith and his military days in Navoo. He did not just give himself the rank of General. In fact he gave himself the rank of Lieutenant General. The reason this is both interesting and important is that the first person in United States history to be given that rank was George Washington and no one was given that rank after him until Winfield Hancock after the Mexican American War (well after Smith was killed). When Smith gave himself that rank it angered a lot of people in America. Washington was just as revered in Smith’s time as he is today (if not even more so) and when Smith tried to equate himself with the Father of the Country, well you can imagine that didn’t go over well. For me some of the most spiritual moments of my life have come from nature. My favorite is to watch trees druing a breeze, something about the unseen force moving the branches, the sound of the leaves as they are stirred by the wind is very powerful. I also enjoy a good, hard rain storm I think because it dispalys the beauty and power of nature. This is why I’m grateful I found this site. I can vent and maybe it is venting to just total strangers but it helps. It helps to hear other people say that they are right there with me. It helps to hear others express the same frustration. I appreciate it and continue to be grateful that I’ve found this site. Thanks for helping. When my first child was born my wife and I came face to face with the idea of the normal. The child was born with an extra 21st chromosome, more commonly called Down syndrome. I suddenly realized that my child wasn’t born “normal”. After a what felt like a long journey over a very short peroid of time I first realized that this idea we have of normal doesn’t exist. Over the years I have become very proud of my different child! I like to see these discussions that none of us are normal because it not only helps people like you and I feel better about ourselves but it also helps everyone realize that everyone deserves respect. Hopefully with more disscussions like these our society in general will be more accepting of the other. Thanks for the suggestions and information. I really do think I need some kind of calling (not sure teaching would be a good idea for me right now with my relationship to church doctorine where it is now, I’m likely to say things to simply upset people 
