[SamIam]

Great thoughts from Roy and wuwei. There was a time I agreed with angrymormon, but no longer. My wife suffers from PTSD and has “anger issues.” It is not volitional; she does not choose to get mad and she can’t choose not to. That’s not how emotions work. For my part, I suffer from anxiety. When I become anxious it can be a burden to those around me, but again, it’s not something I choose. But both my wife and I have gotten therapeutic help. It has saved our marriage and transformed our relationship. We continue to learn and improve in handling our own and each others dysfunction.

We all know there are no simple answers. I personally think I’m not cut out for marriage. Mormons believe everyone is, of course, though the fact that fully half of US adults are divorced or have never married might suggest otherwise. I think I’m one of the single 50% who happens to be married anyway. I only discovered that fact after 15 years of unhappy marriage. But right now, at least, we’re doing ok. My wife and I turned it around because we have both gotten professional help. I think every scrogged relationship needs mediation if it has any shot at surviving. Even therapists go to therapists when their marriages tank. So I hope you guys are getting help. But whether you are or not, brother, I really, truly feel your pain.

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