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I hate the word unworthy or worthy (when used in the Mormon context)… It makes me cringe every time I hear it. We are all unworthy, otherwise we wouldn’t need the Savior. Maybe we can replace worthy with prepared. You must be prepared to go to the Temple? That sounds a little better I guess. On Own Now wrote:ktmxr,
Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry that you are going through this. Your story is one of the most common here. It’s very similar to my own. Here you will find people who have suffered the same fall from grace that you have, yet are happily married to a spouse who remains all in with the Church. There are many who have raised children in the Church, even sending them out on missions.
One thing that has helped me tremendously is to think of the Church as an environment, rather than a godly institution. In this environment, there are faithful people trying to live god-centered lives. They believe some things I don’t, I believe some things they don’t, but I identify with them, I associate with them, I celebrate with them, and I mourn with them. Within this environment, I am at liberty to pursue my own brand of spirituality. It is sometimes very similar to theirs, it is sometimes very different. Either way, I own it as mine. I try to recognize the power of spirituality without the need to get wrapped around the axle about specific and minute points of doctrine. For example, I don’t care one iota about the Three Nephites, but I do find myself being spiritually uplifted by the concepts of putting away the natural man and walking in a new life, intentionally striving to be better. The Church is not a perfect environment, but it is the best one I know, and it works fine for me.
My own faith transition began many, many years ago, yet I have a believing spouse, I have children who have served missions and been married in the temple. I have Utah-mormon in-laws, yet I get along with them just fine.
I do want to address the spouse comment, briefly, because it is a situation that so many experience and this site is a great resource for discussion about what has worked and what hasn’t for so many.
For every couple where one spouse loses faith in the Church and the other spouse still believes, there are two heartbroken people. It is pretty common for each one to think that their own trials are extreme and that the other person doesn’t understand. Neither is more ‘enlightened’ than the other, though they both think they are. They typically both feel hurt, afraid, unsure, and even misunderstood by the other. Yet, there is one person in every such situation who is the one who changed. In my own case, I am the one who changed, not her. I feel that I have the greater obligation to be supportive, patient, forgiving, and caring. It’s not up to me to convince her about the Church, but to convince her that I love her more than anything else. It’s not for me to make her understand me, but for me to understand her. When we walked out of the temple all those years ago, we set out on a path together. We fully expected our lives to conform to the ideal that we both had. Now we find ourselves in a much different situation than we thought we would. My wife is still on the path, and I am not. I owe it to her to support her and accept her for remaining on the same path that we both agreed upon. I love her for who she is and part of who she is is the Church.
My advice is to go out of your way… to ridiculous levels… to show her that you love her more now than when you were married, and that while you are no longer a believer (or however who decide to describe yourself) that you support her wholeheartedly in the Church… that you don’t want to do anything to create dividing lines. My advice is never to talk doctrine. We all have a natural desire to explain why our logic is sound; to show that it isn’t US, but the CHURCH that has caused our faith crisis. We often find ourselves in situations where we are willing to verbally or emotionally confront the people that we love most in order to ‘win’ an argument. This is all part of that ‘natural man’ that we must let go of, if we want to live god-centered lives, IMO. My wife knows I am no longer a believer. If she ever wants to explore for herself and get my take on it, she knows where to find me. Until then, I accept her and the faith that she has. One mental aid is to imagine that your wife is Catholic. Would you tell her how weird transubstantiation is or trot out the Bad Popes or the selling of indulgences? Of course not, because it would serve no purpose other than to undermine what she believes in.
Finally, as has already been said by DJ on this thread, there is one very common piece of advice on this forum that I love and I think it is apropos for your relationship with others as well as the voice inside your own head: focus on what you do believe, rather than on what you don’t.
Welcome to the Ward. I love what On Own Now wrote here. Beautiful advice.
I wrote this in a previous post, but I think a faith crisis can be a huge blessing. Instead of just going through the same old spiritual motions, maybe God wants to connect with you in a deeper way without the filter of Mormon culture. Maybe you’ve attached your spirituality and identity too much to the church, its rules and its culture, that this faith crisis is the Lord’s way of helping you awaken and truly analyze your relationship with Him.
What I have found is that once you’re at peace with your relationship with God and yourself, it really doesn’t matter where you choose to practice your spirituality or fellowship. You are at peace and happy wherever you are. Through this awakening process, you will also discover that your spiritual journey is intensely personal. Your spiritual identity (foundation) cannot be built on the church, it’s history, or its members. It can only be built on the Savior, and how that relationship works is only between you and Him, and no one else.
I’m still very active in the church, so this may seem funny to say, but I’m excited for you. Not for the hurt or anguish that you and your wife are going through, but for the awakening that is on the other side of your faith crisis.
Like others have mentioned. Focus on your relationship with your wife, love her unconditionally, and open your heart to the unknown.
Let us know how we can help.
Congrats Curtis. Glad you were able to keep a positive outlook. I was out of work 5 years ago and it was the most difficult time in my life. Happy for you! Welcome University. I believe you’ve landed in the right place, and you’ll find a great support group here. I’m so sorry that your heart hurts this way. It can be extremely difficult when our spiritual foundation is shook. I hope you will look at this process as an opportunity for deepening your connection with God. Something you said in your post really resonated with me…You mentioned how you wish it were more simple. I have been reading Max Skousen’s Book I-Looking Beyond the Mark these past couple of days. He talks about how we complicate our beliefs, which leads us to look past the mark. We get so occupied trying to do all the things that good LDS people do, that we’ve missed the treasure and the whole point of it all. It has helped me gain a different perspective of the gospel, and maybe it could help you as well. You can read it online here
http://www.scribd.com/doc/14612678/BookILooking-Beyond-the-Mark Thanks again for sharing your story. Look forward to hearing more from you.
Hi Hippo! Welcome to the ward as they say. I’m pretty new around here too, but I’ve really learned a lot and am grateful for those who have shared their experiences on this forum. Keep searching and opening your mind to new ideas and ways of looking at the church, yourself, and the Lord.
I was thinking about it the other day. I know at first they can be depressing, scary, and stressful, but are faith crisis a bad thing? I came to the realization the other day that a FC is a huge blessing. It’s an opportunity to get off the mental/spiritual hamster wheel and really analyze what you believe and why you believe things. If you go into the process with an open heart, I believe what you can find on the other side of a FC is a beautiful, deepening understanding of yourself and God.
I hope you find joy in your journey and look at this as a wonderful opportunity to expand your spiritual horizons.
Unknown wrote:DarkJedi wrote:Obi Wan Kenobi: The force is “…an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together.” Early comparisons of Star Wars and the church aside, this seems to fit what you guys are talking about is some ways. I’m reading this thread with interest and I’m trying to get my head wrapped around these different ideas instead of that which I have been taught in church (the Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit, he can be in only one place but his influence can be felt everywhere, etc.). I do recognize these things are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
I’ll have to go back and watch the Star Wars movies again.
That quote from Obi Wan reminds me of the Sufi saying:
Quote:God sleeps in the stone, dreams in the flower, awakens in the lion, and in man, knows he is awake
I always viewed the Light of Christ as nothing more than the conscience, Jiminy Cricket, but perhaps it is much more than that. Maybe the Light of Christ is that which binds the everything together, including the Godhead. If there really is a patriarchal order of gods that extends to eternity in both directions, it seems that this “force” would be the original intelligence behind it all.
I like the Jiminy Cricket reference
🙂 . The Light of Christ is SO much more than the moral compass we are taught to follow in Church. Section 88 talks about this light in detail. I especially like versus 6-13. The light of Christ is in everything and is the source of all creation. We have access to this light whenever we want it. We just need to discover it.Curtis wrote:Given our advances in technology, I tend to think of the HG now in terms of the universal energy network that allows us to be tapped into the divine, so to speak.
I am totally fine with seeing the HG as an actual personage of spirit, but that causes enough interpretive issues (when considered deeply) that I tend to lean toward “the Spirit of God” (with “spirit” meaning “influence” or “spiritual reach” more than “being”).
I really love what you said here. I also believe that the HG is that universal network that connects us to each other and the divine. I believe it’s what makes us one.
What’s really exciting to me is the idea that the HG is the mind of God. As someone who meditates, it’s exciting to think that as I still my own mind, I’m able to access the creative and powerful mind of the Divine creator of the universe. I think this is the great promise of surrendering our own will, for the will of the Lord. We are able to tap into the mind of God (HG) and experience life through his eyes.
I know that’s new agey, but that’s just how I roll
Thanks so much for sharing. What you shared was the true gospel of Christ. It was raining hard here today to. You aren’t in the Dallas area, are you? I absolutely loved my mission. I’m half Brazilian and was lucky enough to serve in Recife, Brazil. I’ve recently connected with someone of the people I baptized on Facebook. It’s been incredibly fulfilling to hear how the Gospel has changed their lives, and I’m humbled to have played a small part in it. Forgotten_Charity wrote:Quote:Knowing that I was enough, was a huge step in my spiritual progression.
For people that struggle to stay or be accepted as they are that is pure gold!
🙂 When you truly believe this, you are free. It doesn’t matter where you choose to stay or go. You are enough either way. It’s liberating
SomeUsername84 wrote:Welcome to the group, Sanders! This group has helped me so much.
Despite a lot of talk about the love that the Lord has for us, there can be a lot of obsession with the appearance of perfection. It has ruined more than one generation of my family here in Northern Utah. Christ’s gospel is perfect (charity, hope, patience, etc.), and although I can no longer say that “I know” this or “I know” that, I have a lot of hope that through the mercy of a loving Heavenly Father, my heart can be understood and my imperfect efforts to be a half-decent human being will be enough.
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve come to learn that we are already perfect, we’ve just forgotten it. Once we start identifying with our true divinity, we realize that perfection is a state of being, not doing things perfectly. I think God desperately wants us to discover our perfection. The Yoga of Christ article I referenced above talks about this. Eastern religious teach this. I think the pure Gospel of Christ teaches this as well. Knowing that I was enough, was a huge step in my spiritual progression.
Ann wrote:sanders31105 wrote:I’m not a meditation expert or guru. It’s completely changed my life though. As I was searching for deeper spiritual knowledge and meditation techniques, I came across a couple of really amazing articles by Phil McLemore. He’s a Mormon yogi who does meditation seminars in Utah. One of his articles, Yoga of Christ really connected with me. Here’s a link to the article
https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pdf/146-30-45.pdf .
Thanks for sharing this. I sure wish I’d known about yoga, (as in, considered it something a Mormon girl should try) a long time ago. Better late than never. That’s a really interesting tidbit about “yoke” and “yoga” having the same root.
You’re welcome Ann. If you connected with the article, Phil has written a couple of other great ones. Google Mormon Mantra and Hindering the Saints.
