Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Quote:
‘m not an expert, but I’m not an idiot, either. Maybe I’m misunderstanding your statement about being diagnosed with the vitamin deficiency and having to cover up. It seems like you’re saying you’ve been diagnosed with a vitamin D deficiency and have been told to cover up outside
I never called you an idiot or even implied it. To clarify, I was not told by my dr to cover up, I was told by the
churchto cover up. My dr told me to uncover. And yes I’m aware of supplements and food sources. Thanks. I also didn’t say garments alone caused the problem, but that they are a contributing factor. Quote:If you don’t want to wear them, don’t, and deal with your husband. Nobody here can or should make that decision for you or run interference for you.
Wow. So I came to this site thinking that it was a forum and support to air and discuss any issues that we may be having with the church. I guess I was wrong. I will be leaving this site now, and be sure, it is because of you.Quote:sometimes spouses over-react to these things because they believe them to be part of a slippery slope. Today it is garment wearing – tomorrow it may be binge drinking and swinger parties. Regardless of your decision, it might help to reassure your husband that you are 100% committed to him and your children and always will be.
Thank you for this comment. I think there is definitely something to that, I’ll definitely give this some more thought.
Quote:I’m not an expert on Vitamin D deficiency, but am I to understand that because of this you have to be covered when you go outside (despite that we manufacture vitamin D from sunlight)? If so, isn’t that a case for wearing garments and not against?
The opposite. We get vitamin D from exposure to the sun on as much exposed skin as possible. Garments are preventing that, having to cover up all the time with 2-3 layers. Thus aiding and abetting the deficiency.
I realize this post is now old, but I have a few additional things that have recently come up concerning this issue. 1) I was just diagnosed with severe vitamin D deficiency. So now wearing garments is affecting my physical health. I once had a fight with Husband about wearing a tank top while hiking to catch some sun, and he dismissed me, like humans don’t need sunshine. I have a desk job, and now when I go outside I am required to be almost completely covered.
2) I finally broached the subject of my OCD and tugging and pulling at my garments all day every day and the anguish it’s causing me. It turned into Husband questioning my entire commitment to covenants I’ve made with God. Had to walk away. I am completely worthy to go to the temple, and in fact was just there on Saturday. Where is the fairness? He doesn’t like to get up early for sacrament meeting, and he considers himself more worthy than me?
Community centers: I’ve found in my most recent ward, that the people are their own community centers. Lots of pre-school co-ops and homeschooling parents who have banded together. We have a facebook page that is used for swapping stuff, organizing holiday parties, people will even post that they are going to the lake and invite anyone interested along, things like that. I don’t think a physical community center is necessarily required to make more of a community. This is true in any group though, people have to take it upon themselves to reach out. Quote:4. Do away with garments.
Amen.Quote:8. Allow civil marriages the day or week prior to temple sealings.
This. So much. I had a civil marriage. One year and six days later we were able to be sealed at the temple. We did not choose a civil ceremony because we weren’t worthy. We did it because I am the only member in my family. The church cannot reasonably ask converts to leave their families out of their weddings. We chose family over church procedure in this case, and boy am I glad. After being sealed, I’d have been mightily disappointed if that was my “wedding.” My very big, very close knit family got to attend my wedding, and I would have felt ashamed if I’d left them out of it.Yes. Enraging. I am extremely anxiety-ridden, and OCD, and have previously spent hours upon hours making sure my clothing doesn’t touch anything I don’t want it to and doesn’t make me feel claustrophobic. These thing seem like an over-exaggeration for “normal” folks. And truthfully the gospel has helped me with some things a great deal, and I’m very grateful. It has allowed me a sense that everything is okay. But this is one area that has consumed me for the worse. The idea that I have been instructed to wear something completely uncomfortable and touches my armpits all day every day is compounding my anxiety to the point where I feel angry about it. Wearing the garment over regular underwear is only a solution for developing yeast infections and rashes. Just sayin!
Getting back to what drove my original post…My husband is the kind of guy who finds these psychological things to be almost imaginary, and questioning church teachings, whether they be the official standard or not, is a no-no in my home. I have no idea how to approach him, or if I should just stop wearing them except on sundays/temple days, and hope he doesn’t ever say anything…that feels dishonest, but I’m not super confrontational.
Quote:My daughter asked specifically when she went through the temple for the first time about two years ago in an area not near Roy’s (against my advice, but I’m used to that
I specifically asked the question 7 months ago, and was told the bra should go over, and that the garment should be the closest thing to the skin.
Quote:This is true church-wide now.
False – See above.
All that being said, I think it is ridiculous to expect women to embed scratchy symbols into their, ahem, sensitive parts. There are some weeks where I can barely wear clothes, let alone dig embroidering into myself. No thank you.
Quote:It’s slightly annoying to hear garments referred to as underwear so often.
So, what are they, then? I was told to wear them “next to the skin.” Yes, ladies, a mere 7 months ago I was endowed and given instruction to wear my bra OVER my garments. They are therefore, my “underwear.” It follows, that the Church is somehow concerned with my underwear, and it is enraging.
I so agree, Ray. I am perfectly comfortable, and feel modest, in the middle of mid-Atlantic summer wearing a sleeveless (not spaghetti straps, but sleeveless) shirt and shorts to my mid-thigh. But no. I must always be in a tshirt and long shorts, which quite honestly makes me feel like I’m dressed like a boy. I feel like I’ve lost my agency to decide what to wear and that violates the very premise of God’s plan…for us to choose for ourselves. If the Church thinks that Heavenly Father is concerned with my underwear, then we are doing it wrong. What I can wear is HARDLY a big moral decision. Church tells us that we are the symbols of our faith and not to wear crosses, but then demands us to wear symbolic underwear all the time? Something is off there. I am so tired of having this affect the testimony that I fought long and hard for.
I agree, that what happens between me and my husband is between us. The problem IS my husband. HE will not be ok once I finally work up the courage to tell him that I can’t wear garments full time. The problem is inside my own home. Thanks for the warm welcome. A little too warm from some….. 😯 I guess I am comfortable telling myself that I didn’t covenant to wear them 24/7. It’s just my husband has it so ingrained, that I kid you not, he put his on today even though we were going on a hike that we knew we were going to swim at the end of in a river. Talk about defiling.
He knew he was marrying a convert who is pretty rough around the edges, but part of me still thinks he was picturing Molly Mormon as a wife before we met. He gets defensive any time I have something different to say than “what the church teaches.” There are some things I just cannot subscribe to. And that is ok for me, I am perfectly fine taking the good from the church and leaving behind the things that I feel are not inspired by The Lord and frankly, the culture. Husband is not. I don’t want to disappoint him. We were sealed two weeks ago, and I don’t want him to feel he waited so long for the right person only to stick himself with someone who can’t be all he ever wanted.
