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we should all be in church with our children’s clothes perfectly ironed
mwallace57, I would take this with a grain of salt. First you have the ‘new” leader factor, and secondly, it’s just one person’s opinion.
I personally think that sometimes we, especially here in Utah, get hung up on what is proper and what is not. In my opinion, if you and your kids are clean, and their hair is combed and their clothes are clean and relatively unrumpled, I’d let this fly by and not worry about it. Save the guilt for useful and important things and use your entitlement to the spirit by virtue of your role as mother to determine the best use of time for your personal stewardship.
I thought Elder Ballard’s talk on father/son communication was very good. Priesthood had a bit of a different tone than it usually does; more topic-oriented, less aaronic priesthood, mission-prep-oriented, or at least that’s how I took it. I liked President Monson’s talk in the Sunday Morning session. How do you argue with the Christianity of Service to others. Loved the warm fuzzys.
I’m feeling it on this one. I have always struggled with the assumption of proper gender roles are/should be in the church, and in LDS culture. I know a couple who is separating, and the husband has cooked only one or two meals in 25 years of marriage. Ridiculous.
I know senior male members who have never changed a diaper, or cleaned a bathroom.
The other day I met one of our male ward members at the grocery store. He was looking around, because he didn’t know where the grocery carts were. His comment was that his wife takes care of that.
I am having a hard time facing Priesthood Meeting, because nary a Sunday goes by without liberal/Obama bashing. (I don’t mind people having political opinions, I just don’t think church or church activities are the forum for that, and I hate the assumption that if you are mormon, you must be republican.)
I have had to put filters on my email, because of all anti-Obama email I get from my ward members.
Makin’ me crazy.
Ignorance always resists education and knowledge. Education and knowledge may lose a battle or two, but I think generally wins out in the long term.
Interesting article. I was in a similar situation a few months ago. I won’t go into the boring details, but I received some good counsel that told me that it’s okay, in fact necessary and important to take care of myself. I am in a quasi caregiver situation on top of many other demands. If I am not taking care of myself, then I won’t be any good for anyone in my care. Plus it’s okay to take care of yourself, just for yourself. I would expand the concept to include adequate rest, proper nutrition, exercise, and spiritual and emotional rejuvenation. It’s helped me move away from the edge of completelly falling apart.
No, I’m sure that most offerings are administered ethically and according to policy. I just think that there is more slipping through the cracks than most of us assume. Postscript: Neither of the families are now active to my knowledge. I guess another thing to consider is what the recipients’ motives were in showing interest in the church/activation. I guess I’m still coming to grips with my slide from stage 3!!
I know this discussion is getting a little stale, but I was discussing it with my wife this week, and she reminded me of a couple of our experiences: 1. As Executive Secretary for two bishops and a former bishopric member, I observed several instances where large amounts of money/goods (thousands) and services were expended on people who were investigating the church, or in the process of being activated. I’m talking large ticket items; A roof was replaced, a home was completely refurbished. (Side story, the people were renters and the ward basically upgraded because the owner was unwilling to, the renters were subsequently kicked out and the owner pocketed the added value.)
2. My father-in-law, a lifetime totally active, working class, true blue, tithe paying LDS High Priest sought help from his bishop during his wife’s extended illness, an illness that eventually led to her passing. She had suffered a severe stroke and they were caught in the gap between Medicare and Medicaid regarding nursing home care. All he asked for was some stop gap financial help for a month or two while they figured things out. The answer from the bishop was an emphatic no. As background info, my father-in-law was in his late seventies, has a home that is paid for, a used automobile, and very few other assets. He lives on a small pension and social security. I know his income is low enough that he doesn’t pay taxes. His income was low enough that he couldn’t afford to incur debt and had no other savings. There were not a lot of family resources to assist either.
I guess my point is that I wish I thought that the bishops really administered offerings in a fair manner, but my life experiences are teaching me otherwise.
Thanks for sharing your story. I don’t have magic answers, but I know that counseling and proper medications can help anxiety a lot. I have a bit of anxiety myself and it runs in my family.
It is very sad when people hold economic power (the threat of divorce) over others. How bad would a divorce be? It might be emancipating. My other question, and forgive my boldness, is whether you are suffering from mental or physical abuse as well. I don’t want to read anything into your situation that isn’t there, but a lot times when spouses are controlling, there are other issues as well. If that isn’t the case, forgive me. If that is the case, there are resources to help, and you are a child of God and deserve dignity and respect.
I want to say, hopefully without sounding preachy, that in spite of the significant challenges to my faith and testimony, that I fully believe there is a practical side to each of the commandments. In other words, in spite of my lack of faith, I am not wanting to change my pattern for living, because I see the practical benefits in this life from doing so. So, even if you can’t see the spiritual rewards for the commandments (which I haven’t at times), and can’t see far enough ahead to worry about impacts to salvation, that there are plenty of reasons for living them here and now. So, I’d just add to the counsel to ‘go slow’ and don’t change your values. The church’s values are great values and the world would be a better place if everyone lived the commandments.
Hi shattered. I think lots of us have felt all or part of what you feel. I think it’s just great to have this website and know that you are not alone and not crazy and not evil. That is therapeutic in and of itself. The other thing that has really helped me here is just to have an a venue to have open dialogue. It’s a positive place and I am in a better position just being able to have discussions about subjects that cannot be broached at church and often in the home. While I’ve struggled with my faith, I have never wanted to go over to the anti- side, and become part of the bitterness. And still, in spite of it all, I think the church is a good organization and worthy of support. I mean who else has an unpaid clergy? And who else administers welfare so that 100% of your donations help others? And I love being able to help and serve at church farms and canneries.
And I echo the advice to spend some time digesting Jim Fowler’s stuff. It has helped me immensely and given me new hope.
Just a post mortem on this topic; I just finished reading Jan Shipps’ “Sojourner in the Promised Land”. In addition to being a very good read, one of the essays in particular enlightened me about the differences between academic history and denominational history and their differences in purposes. The denominational history is analagous to the brochure history term that I used, exists in every ‘church’, and has the purpose of telling the story of the mythology vs. relating factual, complete history. I guess I’ve been a bit naive thinking this wouldn’t exist in the true church, but I’m trying to come to grips with it.
Does anyone find it interesting that this story just died in the media? The only place I saw it was the trib. I didn’t expect it to make news on KSL, but I’m surprised the national media didn’t pick it up. I read this a while ago and found it extremely enlightening. I did not come away from the read with sense of negativity towards the church. I appreciated the scholarly research. One of the most fascinating things for me was the events surrounding the transition of power to Brigham Young, and the ambiguous and contradictory things that Joseph Smith told various followers at various times about succession. Interesting when Brigham mass ordained the Nauvoo elders to offices of Seventy, as a means of removing confusion and bringing them under his jurisdiction, rather than leaving them with the Stake. I also really enjoyed the pathway to our current succession that occurred as they hashed things out after arriving in the Salt Lake Valley.
