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I encourage you to read the response from StayLDS user mercyngrace found with the link above.

You are not alone. I have been where you are and it gets better.

Well, I’ve utterly neglected my work for the entire morning – and I have to say I’ve learned a lot. I read the whole thread and was able to identify some really helpful items as well as many more items that I need to study. Thanks for pointing me in this direction. After reading the thread, I have to say this is the first time in a long time that I see some glimmer of hope in “Staying LDS”.

I have such a long way to go, my mind and heart are so far from knowing what to do that it almost seems pointless to try sometimes. This has helped me greatly and given me some more tools and resources to continue on. Thanks.

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Thanks for this – It’s great for me to see this perspective and, what I would consider, a level-headed attitude. I realize that it’s taken you many years to gain this perspective and attitude. I truly hope I can continue in my growth, as you have, and be as confident in my beliefs so that I can share the same sort of feelings with my family one day. Seriously, thanks for posting this. You’ve made a difference in my life.

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Really great thoughts so far – I know my topic/question was ambiguous but, I sincerely appreciate the feedback thus far. I will read both of the books mentioned (thank you greatly for that) and I definitely agree with that new perspective… humans trying to explain celestial things that can’t be explained. I love that and it opens up some interpretation for me to be able to operate within the confines of the LDS beliefs.

Lastly, I really appreciate that perspective from Katzpur in that my “salvation is between me and the lord”. It reminded me of something my mission president said in my exit interview before I went home. How true this is! I think we forget that a lot in the church. Religion in general is so that we can have a celestial relationship for our own minds and for our own guidance. I need to chase that theology more than I have been, especially right now where things seem so complicated within my current belief system. I need to study and understand and learn what gospel topics mean to me, and work on that personal relationship with deity rather than worry about what others will think about my beliefs. Thank you!!

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These are great thoughts. Thanks for replying. I love the perspective, something I definitely needed. Still not sure I’ve processed all of it or made up my mind on this topic but, I now have a lot more to think about.

It’s been a tough few months trying to reestablish my beliefs and thoughts. Thanks.

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LDS_Scoutmaster wrote:

Technically you could argue that Adam and Eve were the first.

I guess you’re right! That’s embarrassing!!

I guess I should clarify a little bit. I’m having a hard time believing that somebody could see a celestial being and be told something or learn something and then years later forget what they learned. I was recently in a gospel doctrine class where they talked about how many of the witnesses of the book of Mormon fell away and how important it is to continue to have spiritual experiences even if you have had one of these great spiritual visions because visions aren’t sustaining testimony builders. I have a hard time believing that if I saw God and he told me that the Mormon church was true, for example, that I wouldn’t do anything in my power to magnify that religion in my life whether or not I was one week or 20 years removed from that vision.

I wondered if the phenomenon of seeing a celestial being and then turning back to wickedness ie Laman and Lemuel is a common theme throughout the Bible as well it doesn’t seem to be.

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I wanted to say “Thank-you” to those that responded. I’ve made my way through the essay posted on this site about how to stay in the church after a crisis of faith. That, along with some of your suggestions, has helped me immensely. While I still have some questions and anxiety’s about a few things, I think I can at least see a path to finding normality again.

I still float through moments of bitterness, I’d imagine that may never end. I also am not sure when or how to tell my wife. I definitely have a lot of work to do and re-programming. I don’t quite understand what the future looks like which scares me a bit but, honestly, who does?

There was at least one suggestion on some further reading from this post and a number of other reading references in the essay. I plan to continue studying and trying to figure out how to form a “new” life within the LDS Faith. I hope to be able to contribute my little effort to this forum as well.

For now, this will be my outlet as, no one else in the world knows what I’m going through. I appreciate this resource.

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