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I had a really close relationship with the church and loved being a part of it. I miss that security of “knowing”! I felt like I was okay in God’s eyes all of the time because I trusted that relationship. My FC has caused me all sorts of insecurities, distance from a heavenly friendship, and a knowledge that I was going to end up in this celestial place of peace and joy. I miss ignorance. I really miss all of this. I am definitely one of those women that is very concerned about these statements to not worry about it now, it will get worked out later. I told my parents recently that I never will be able to accept polygamy, but I seem to always get asked the question “What if Christ asked you to”? If we possess the same spirits in the next life as we have in this life, then I guess I am screwed on this! This has really started to tear at my soul. I don’t know why I give this part of the church such power, but it scares me to death. What if He does ask and I cant say yes, what then? I truly don’t believe it was revelation, but it terrifies me that I am wrong. It terrifies me that I am now a person that could possibly say no to Christ. It eats away at me now. I for one need the church to change their stance so I can possibly find peace, I will keep hoping. Ann– I taught the polygamy lesson last week in my seminary class and it went amazing!! I brought the essays, I brought my opinions, and I brought some other ideas (like the possibility that Joseph wasnt a polygamist and the women lied for their powerful husbands, that Emma changed her story so her son could be prophet, and many more–we went there). I was able to convey to them that there are so many opinions on polygamy and what actually happened and whether it is true revelation. I told them that there are so many theories, and I didnt want them to be shocked if they came across a theory that they had never heard. I told them that they had a right to believe what they wanted to believe, but that there were some very good people that believed this came from God. I had an ancestor that believed this, and she was an incredible woman. I asked them if they could judge someone if the person truly believed they were doing what was right? They asked some good questions and I answered them. It was a great class. I do not believe my seminary kids could ever be shocked if they came across something, cause it was covered. I asked them if they felt better about it, and if they felt calm about it. They all said yes, even my student that was extremely bothered by it. I pray and pray that seminary teachers around the world can be open minded and not cause more distress to the youth than they need to. I believe this younger generation is smart and they see through a lot of this stuff. I never asked the questions as a kid, but these kids sure do.
I have to say, I have definitely witnessed some fake testimony tears, but most of the time I feel they are sincere. I had a YW Pres. who used to tell us how much she loved us while shedding tears, but she told another story behind the scenes. I used to roll my eyes like crazy and begged my mom to get me out of there. She was a fake! My DH came home laughing after a ward council because a 21 year old kid started bearing his testimony of food storage with big crocodile tears. He said it was the weirdest thing ever since this kid came from a wealthy home and has never used food storage before. DH said it definitely was for show and really didnt understand where the heck it came from. haha But could someone please prescribe me something, cause I cry over everything!! My seminary kids think I am insane. Thankfully, I have gotten a lot better this year for them, but no better at the stand. ANNOYING!!
LookingHard wrote:SamBee wrote:Must admit one thing I’ve never understood is the need to cry on the podium, and in some cases it comes over as forced. I’m not a great weeper myself but do I need to crush the onions every time I get up to speak?
When I get emotional I often get teary eyed. I HATE it – immensely! As a member of a bishopric I had to give a testimony once every 3 months. I hated it. I have even asked my therapist if she knew of anything that could help with that. She actually suggested getting my family Dr. to give me some kind of relaxing pill and that might help. So I have to take drugs to keep from bawling at the pulpit. Sounds so stupid.I am a sobber!!! I agree with lookingHard, I absolutely hate it, I think it must be genetic? I cannot control myself up there and have realized a lot of it is my nerves. I envy people like you SamBee!!! I find the people that stay strong and give these amazing testimonies and talks without weeping are super strong and I take them just as seriously. The crying just gets the kids to stop talking cause they wonder what is with that crazy woman up there?
I have had to oppose a calling once, but at the time I just couldnt do it publicly. I just thought it was unnecessary. It was only ward level though, so it just made more sense to do it privately with the bishop and then our stake president came the next week to hear my concerns. The person I opposed was then removed from their calling a few weeks later to try and make it less obvious. It was a criminal thing though, so I felt very strongly I had to bring it to the attention of the bishop. I don’t even know if a dissenting vote on the top levels would even mean anything, so I guess what is the point?? I understand their need to voice it, but it really wont get seriously heard. Once it is prophet level, its out of our hands. Right?? I don’t believe the members could do anything about it. I definitely wouldnt say anything, I know I would just look crazy to all the TBM’s there and made fun of later Thanks Nibbler! That gives me some confidence that I am doing the right thing. I am having troubles remembering what the names of the polygamy essays are in gospel topics. I find them so hard to find, except for the major one listed on the right side. nibbler wrote:
That’s exactly how I felt about the PH session last year. I’m glad that they are streaming it now so it is available to all who want to listen.Agreed!
The Priesthood session was definitely the best session yet! Wish the women’s session was this awesome, so I am glad I listened. It was nice to see President Monson So after my last seminary class, I told the kids I was leaving them in charge of what we were going to learn at the next class. I said, its on polygamy and we can go right in to that with a question and answer class, or if they didn’t feel the need to discuss polygamy we would do their assessments. Well, I got a very quick and powerful—POLYGAMY. Hahaha Then, one of my girls just started peppering me with questions. I felt very comfortable answering her and telling her that my intention of the class was to help her leave confident, not full of fear. She said, well, if the church ever comes back with polygamy, I will just stay single. This broke my heart. I thought, this is exactly what I didn’t want her to say, because marriage is such an amazing thing. I told her, I was pretty certain the church wouldn’t do that, but even if it did, YOU HAVE A CHOICE!!! No one can tell you to follow anything you don’t feel is right or okay. I think it is going to be a very interesting class! Good luck to me! :crazy: Yup, that CES letter was my undoing. It really sucked getting it all at once, but I feel it is now just a part of life that I have to work through. It has caused two of my siblings and one of their spouses to leave completely. But the best that has come of this personally, is that I have a heck of a lot more compassion for those that can’t be in the church. I no longer need answers to why, I just love them and give them support. I am just so glad I found this community, it was my lifeline and still continues to be. LookingHard wrote:
I have mixed feelings on skipping it. I can agree to skip it giving it as is, but I worry about not giving any references is going to bite some of these kids in the next decades of their life.SlowlyLoosingIt – I am not poking at YOU not giving this. I get that it is HARD HARD HARD and we shouldn’t be forcing people to do things that are totally repulsive to them.
I didn’t take any offence to it at all, I totally understand your stance on this. I just can’t quite figure out how to approach it exactly and dont want to completely confuse teenage kids. So, I’m not 100% sure i am skipping it, I have 1 week to decide since I teach the lesson next tuesday and 1 week to decide how I will teach it if I do. I am seriously repulsed by polygamy now and struggle with talking about it. I just talked to my TBM mother about it and i was surprised at how well she took it. She said that the prophet can’t lead us astray, I asked her what she thought about the priesthood change and the essays on that. She thought for a moment and said, well I don’t have an answer to that. So I said, could they possibly have gotten polygamy wrong? Is it okay if I question that? She agreed that maybe it was okay to wonder and then she said that she was certain we will get answers really soon for that and she will look forward to it. The most open minded conversation i have ever had with her regarding the prophets getting revelation wrong. Win for mom today and win for me! Maybe having half the family leave the church is really good for my family??? Hmmm, this just led me to maybe think I could have a great discussion with the kids about revelation and what fallible really means??
Audrey wrote:I just read this and thought it applied.
http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/2335798-155/op-ed-think-seminary-teachers-before-acceding I read it and have decided not to do the lesson except ask if they have any questions regarding this weeks lessons. If they don’t bring it up, I’m not talking about it. But I will answer them honestly and use a lot of, “IMO”. Haha. I will just give them the test to do and it takes up the whole class time usually anyway. If I have to use a class to give the test, this is probably the best one to skip
Dark Jedi–that was fantastic! I can’t believe how much happened during that last week of Christs’ life! Thank you for posting, I love that quote about our dark Friday’s. I feel like I have been there for awhile. Gave me a lot of hope. Well, I have decided to skip the lesson with my seminary kids. We are going to do their learning assessments that day and I am going to ask them if they have any questions regarding this weeks study. If they ask, I will answer them honestly. I may even say I don’t really agree with it. President Hinkley said polygamy wasn’t doctrinal and I am going with that. Hopefully I don’t get an angry parent. Or the kids might not even notice we skipped polygamy. I could also end up going by the seat of my pants. I will definitely let you guys know if anything fun happens. I wish I was brave enough to take on this issue publicly. I do not want to have any church discipline problems or family problems because of it. Both my family and my DH’s family come from polygamists. So a little touchy. But, I am very firm on it in my mind. I give a little silent cheer when someone takes it on for me. I just wish we could stop performing all second sealings even if you lose a spouse. If it isn’t doctrinal and things can be fixed in heaven, let’s let God fix it all later. I’m pretty sure we can do sealings in the millennium so let’s do all the polygamy stuff then if it is actually supposed to happen. (I might have vomited in my mouth thinking it’s possible).
