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DarkJedi wrote:
We upped the ante after that (I highly recommend OpenDNS). One other tip: block Tumblr if you are able – there’s an unbelievable amount of porn on there.
Thank you for the suggestion, I have never been on Tumblr so that is good to know. It is amazing where it shows up, I have stumbled across it on Pinterest sadly.
Ann wrote:
Spocklover,At a time like this, you almost wish you didn’t love your kids so much, or want their lives to unfold a certain way so badly.
Oh, my goodness, yes, this isn’t a talk for her and the bishop.
If you think it would help you, it would probably help responders here to know more about her side of the conversation. Is she emotional about it, casual, in conversation with other kids, seeking it out very privately, etc. If it’s distressing to go into more detail, I get that. Maybe it’s not helpful for us to put it under a microscope.
From where I sit, the worry is understandable, but you don’t have anything to feel guilty about.
(And breathe! In and out slowly for a minute or two. You’re there, dealing with it.)
Thank you! I am starting to feel better, it just came as such a shock. We have a new bishop who is pretty great but I still felt like this was a matter for us to deal with at her age.
She was pretty embarrassed but casual I guess. Didn’t really understand a lot of it and why it was wrong. Her reasoning was mostly that she was curious and wanted to know more. She has been looking privately at home, sneaking onto things while we were in bed at night. (She is a night owl). We have added passwords to things now. She promised she hasn’t been talking to anyone else about it.
I believe part of the issue is that she has been going through puberty at an early age, she started early stages a few years ago. None of her close friends are showing any signs so she feels out of place. She almost as tall as me and catching up in many “other” ways. So she is trying to make sense of her body and emotions at such an early age. We have had lots of puberty talks so she knows what is going on logically.
*This is my first post besides my intro so I am steal figuring out how to word things and all, forgive me.
SamBee wrote:It is worth pointing out that sex at ten or eleven is very unhealthy for girls and can cause cervical cancer and internal damage. Worth pointing this out perhaps. It does go on. I remember years ago, a friend of mine found a couple of eleven year olds at it in his garden!
My entire reason for this post was for help and support. For a few like-minded new friends to tell me wasn’t a horrible mom. I admit I am probably overly sensitive at the moment but I don’t think this was “worth” pointing out to me. Obviously when I found this out my mind thought of all the horrible places this could lead. But I am trying to handle this situation the best I can without loosing my mind. So I just kindly ask that comments be kept to those things supportive and helpful.
:thumbup: SamBee wrote:
Spocklover wrote:
SamBee wrote:
10 years old and a girl!
Yes…your point? Not trying to sound rude but I am curious where you are going with this.
I’m shocked at this combination. Usually it’s boys and two or three years older than this. But ten – good grief!
Admittedly I got exposed to p younger than that, but not through choice.
I think this line of thought was a huge reason it went on for a bit without my knowledge. We tend to think of only teenage boys having this problem. It can happen to anyone at almost any age.
SamBee wrote:
10 years old and a girl!
Yes…your point? Not trying to sound rude but I am curious where you are going with this.
Roy wrote:
Spocklover wrote:
I suggested if she was having urges we could distract her by having girl time, painting nails, going on walks etc. Not sure if that will help but I thought I would try. Just doing my best at this hard parenting thing.
I believe that giving tangible evidence of your love, support, and acceptance (quality time) will be invaluable to your daughter as she navigates the choppy waters of adolescence. My only suggestion is to initiate and not wait for her to come to you needing distraction from urges. (you were probably going to do this already but I could not tell from the writing.)
I do need to work on initiating time with her, I haven’t always been the best. Thank you for the reminder!
Roy wrote:
My oldest daughter is 11.Spocklover wrote:
I brought up spiritual reasons but also just plain old facts of what they can do to your brain. I have her tips of how to deal with those feelings and promised to help if she promised to come talk to me anytime.
I am very interested to know about how P affects developing brains. Certainly, I can understand why it would be immoral to experiment on young people but is there a study someone could point me to? I am also curious on the tips on how to deal with those feelings. Are we talking cold showers and singing primary songs or something else?
Crossing my fingers as I muddle through parenting just like anybody else.
I suggested if she was having urges we could distract her by having girl time, painting nails, going on walks etc. Not sure if that will help but I thought I would try. Just doing my best at this hard parenting thing.
I was going to find some links for you after work but I see someone else already did. I will look for some that I have read.
Thank you so much for everyone’s help, keep it coming! Your support has made me feel a lot better today.
LookingHard wrote:
Drinking some water usually helps with headaches.
My husband and I both suffer from migraines and lack of water is a HUGE trigger. I cannot go for more than an hour without food or water otherwise I will have a horrid migraine. So I try to fast with other things like facebook. That way I am giving something up still.
BYU-Idaho is even worse. I lived in the dorms and if you or any of your roommates broke a rule regarding boys your apartment was “quarantined”. A giant Q was placed on your door for a week, like a scarlet A. I lived with an RA for a while and she had her boyfriend sitting at the kitchen table but the blinds were just turned open, not pulled all the way up so we got the Q. Tiny little difference, you could still see in the window. I was moving apartments that week and had a married family friend and his wife that were going to help me move. He was not allowed to set foot in the apartment. I had to move all my boxes to the door so he could reach them. He was there with his wife to help me but was not trusted in the apartment. Hawkgirl- actually I forgot to mention our Ward split. That happened almost 2 years ago and majorly affected me. All my friends were put in the other ward and I got put in with the old school, cultural mormon, clique group. It has been a serious struggle to fit in with them. There are a few of us on the outside, I am trying to make friends with them. But I hate sittijg in church feeling lonely, especially in RS.
