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I think the church is more aware now than ever of it’s history and that it can be troubling to so many of us. They are making great strides in dealing with it and walking a tightrope that people won’t fall away because of it. They know and are IMO, against hiding it any longer, the problem is how to expose it and not lead many out the door to heaven knows what. They believe it’s true, somehow a witness has told them this, maybe they think like myself, that the church is perhaps adopted because of the good it does. I have many days where I’ll want to leave, and then something holds onto me. Is it fear of the unknown, and of being alone? Possibly, but there is something and I’m just figuring out if it’s God holding me to the religion or not. I keep thinking I might just have to leave for good and see for myself, come what may. There are those that say that it’s good to doubt because it forces one to find out how strong their testimony is or if they even had one. That’s me right now. The church is exposing most of the history but not all, how much easier it’d be if they would and then members like us could go to church and not cringe, or feel the church is deceitful. One thing that comes to mind is the new direction of the Neal A. Maxwell Institute. Alot of people that are authors and historians, endorse the new direction, the list is enlightening, they are…. ■
Philip L. Barlow, Leonard J. Arrington Chair of Mormon History and Culture, Utah State University ■
Richard L. Bushman, Gouverneur Morris Professor of History, emeritus, Columbia University ■Douglas J. Davies, Professor of Theology and Religion, Durham University
■Eric A. Eliason, Professor of English, Brigham Young University
■James E. Faulconer, Richard L. Evans Professor of Religious Understanding, Professor of Philosophy, Brigham Young University
■Kathleen Flake, Associate Professor of American Religious History, Vanderbilt University
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Terryl L. Givens, James A. Bostwick Chair of English and Professor of Literature and Religion, University of Richmond ■Sarah Barringer Gordon, Arlin M. Adams Professor of Constitutional Law and Professor of History, University of Pennsylvania
■Matthew J. Grow, Director of Publications, Church History Department, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
■Grant Hardy, Professor of History and Religious Studies, University of North Carolina—Asheville
■David F. Holland, Associate Professor of History, University of Nevada, Las Vegas
■Laurie F. Maffly-Kipp, Professor and Chair, Department of Religious Studies, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
■Patrick Q. Mason, Howard W. Hunter Chair of Mormon Studies, Claremont Graduate University
■Quincy D. Newell, Associate Professor of Religious Studies, University of Wyoming
■Grant Underwood, Professor of History, Brigham Young University
Some on the list (bolded) have been featured on the Mormonstories Podcasts. I think the church backs the truths to come out through people like them and many others. It will take baby steps.
This post had me at driving in the rain. Lately I’ve been anxiety ridden while driving in non rain too! My mind plays tricks on me and I’ll be afraid to drive in the best of road condtions. The rest of the post was such a gift to read. Daily I wonder if my deceased parents are alive and well in the hereafter. And this post gives me hope they are. And to have had that ladies husband tell that lady to switch her child from the right side to the left reminds of an accident my mom and I were in after attending the RS building in Slc, Ut. where Sis. Camilla Kimball and her daughters were speaking. This took place when people didn’t regularly put on seat belts, back in like 1981 or so, besides they were buried behind the seat usually. But this time my mom and I wore seatbelts! We never had before, then on the way home coming from Beck street and when it forks to go left or right on the ramp to the freeway, somebody completley stopped for a second at that fork and this led to several cars rearending each other. I was the last to rear end and got a ticket of course, but the miracle was that my mom and I were okay. Where our seatbelts held us in was terribly bruised, which told us we’d probably have flown into the windshield. I think we had a guardian angel somehow tell us to wear a seat belt that day. Thanks so much for your story!!!
Ray and Thankful, I’m calling a doctor tomorrow, I think I’m menopausal. It’s a scary feeling to be that depressed. Thanks for the concern I sooo appreciate it. And sorry to threadjack your post FiguringItOut. I think you have a great outlook and attitude and will handle things better than some of us 
Sorry for you loss, that is the ultimate sorrow. I believe that somehow this sorrow….mine was losing both of my parents within months of the other… may have snapped both of us out of that safe place of knowing the church is true. Several years ago I remember hearing about someone leaving the church to attend another faith and I couldn’t wrap my mind around someone not believing in the church. It didn’t phase me that they quit believing because it may not be true. I thought of every reason but that one. I, like you, need a reason/truth to believe again, to be in that safe, happy spot again. My dilemma has been Joseph Smith’s polygamy. That having been the eye opening for me. All I know is after my parent’s death I was reading everything under the sun about NDE’s. Did God answer me by giving me this faith crisis? I wonder. Did He need me to see the world through different lenses? Maybe the safe, happy spot isn’t where God wants people like ourselves to be. Maybe the middle way of thinking isn’t terrible and possibly opens our world somewhat. Just this morning I thought how I wish someone could show me that what Joseph did was the right thing. Then I could go back full heartily into the church. But then I’m back again feeling hopeless. And moments before I read your post I was thinking I’d like to move somewhere that doesn’t have many mormons (I live in Mormonville). Then I thought ok, I’m in the beginning phase of anti mormon thinking. I see now how the anti mormon came to be. I don’t blame them now that I am in their shoes. I fear I may become that mormon. Though before I did I’d jump off a cliff, suicide crosses my mind constantly. That’s where the anti begins I’ll bet. Feeling that by not believing the church they are nothing. Sorry for my rant, just know that you’re not alone. I wish I were more help.
That little boy rests inside the haystack. So sorry you had that happen and your childhood innocence taken. It’s bad when people think it’s nothing (therapist) and think it’s child’s play when it’s clearly abuse. I think sexual abuse is epidemic in this day and age. I’m glad you’ve been able to discuss here and hopefully elsewhere. So many suffer in silence. I think it’s more people than anyone ever realised. You can get that little boy back out of the haystack, and run and play and love!
I hope this helps, God does empathise!
Need to report that I just checked our wards schedule and we are having our Fast Sunday this Sunday!! I’m tickled pink that our ward is saving a special day for Easter. Cool. Just the other day I received an email from someone in the Primary Presidency, I’ve c/p it ……”The other item is Easter Sunday, March 31st. Junior primary should be teaching Lesson #46 called “Jesus Christ Made it Possible…” The Senior Primary does not have an Easter lesson so your options are to teach the one on the schedule or you can see one of the presidency and we will get you an Easter lesson you can teach. We just wanted to give you that option.”Just wondering why an Easter Lesson isn’t provided in the Senior Primary Lesson Manual? Any ideas? Although I’m definitely giving my ward’s Primary Presidency kudos for being aware of it and offering solutions!
I’m all set to go, flight tickets are paid! Now just figuring out a great vacation to surround the very exciting conference. I’ve never heard Jan Shipps speak, and listening to Bishop Kloosterman is going to be great. I remember a MS conference not to long ago where he spoke on the LGBT’s and how he was saddened that the church hadn’t done a good enough job of including them in our church the way they should be. And he felt that he hadn’t done enough or had a mindset at one time that he wasn’t proud of. I listened to the Youtube of it. I’m also looking forward to your talk too DBMormon! ETA: DBMormon is there a more detailed schedule yet. Like is there a speaker or speakers on Fri. night too? Roy wrote:Thanks for sharing this Tacenda.
“True Testimony” – that is an interesting concept, unfortunatley I think that the meaning of these words will differ depending on the individual.
I personally believe that for the church as a whole slow inocculation is the wisest course – in small doses.
I should have included this, a “testimony” based on truth, and nothing but. That’s when the testimony can be real. Or if it’s not meant to be, so be it. Atleast someone can base it on the whole picture and also get the spiritual confirmation. Or not. It sure has made me dig down deep where before I relied on other’s testimony.SilentDawning wrote:And that’s why I always read Brian’s posts in detail…
His are words to live by for any of us!Wayfarer remember the “middleway” path? It helped me from completely jumping ship when I read some of your words. I’ve been hanging out on the MD&D board alot and they are a little tired of me but I can’t get over their bulletproof testimonies and how they’re able to sustain them. After awhile they’ve continued to have some somewhat plausible answers to my posts so they also have kept me from jumping ship. But somedays I just feel like jumping off a cliff, it becomes so hard to be in the middle sometimes. So I hear you loud and clear. Cwald you were a familiar face long before I was one for you. I was always pulling for you on the MD&D board! Heber13 you didn’t say it this way but I want to make clear that I didn’t try to get my husband on board with me in my disaffection for the church it happened naturally as I would bring things up he would study it out. But I think he deep inside still believes, which is great and sometimes I wonder if I do too, despite all the evidence against there is that possiblity! And the times my husband would disparage the church or anything like that I’d defend the church, and vice versa. Oh the mentality of what we go through with religion and the not knowing anything for sure!!
Thank you all for your kind welcome to be apart of a very nice crowd!!
