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I am recently acting on my doubts. I smelled something fishy for a long time, but avoided reading more because I had too much to lose. My membership suffered as I lost motivation. Being untrue to myself made the whole thing leave a bad taste in my mouth. Finally one night I too found the ces letter, and then the fairmormon response, and I got the confirming feeling from the first. I realized it was bias and voraciously sought more info. I found mormonthink.com and this forum and a bunch of documents (drawing on my college learned research skills) and found something amazing. I am not mad. I’m not bitter. I don’t feel like I was cheated. I also no longer accept the bom or JS, but I still value the pearl of great price. It doesn’t need to be true to have beauty and value, and the same is true of the church. I am still active for now. My wife and I discuss my doubt’s and hers, though as of yet not in great detail, and we agree that for now we will continue going. We pray, read scriptures, and feel the spirit still.
My advice about digging up dirt: don’t look for angry sources. Recognize that angry people see evil in every action. Instead look at academic articles where you can find them. Recognize the holes in the logic of both sides (both the anti’s and fair’s) and see the church as a big group of people trying to find god. Some of them need absolutes (only true church and all that) but most of them just need a sense of love and belonging. There is no harm in going, loving, and belonging.
Sounds like “milk before meat” has become “milk, the other white meat”. I feel like the church is afraid to examine some of the meat because it is not blind faith promoting. It requires that members dig into hard questions and find their own answers. More stuff is available than before now, but it is still never really addressed in a simple honest way.
Eternity4me wrote:I married my husband because of his testimony. Really. I had a spiritual witness that I should marry him. It was very powerful and still impossible for me to deny. I didn’t feel all that attracted to him, but it was an experience that I could not deny happened. Fast forward to now. I don’t feel the testimony I used to, so his testimony is much less important to me. In fact it can be irritating. I guess the bottom line is that now, I have almost nothing in common with my husband. He is so different from me, it is getting very difficult to live with him. We don’t fight, we are just polar opposites. We have been married almost 10 years and I have a teenager still at home. She would be devastated if I left him. How do you put your marriages back together when you have a FC? It was okay when I felt I needed to have a priesthood holder in my home and needed that for my daughter, but now I don’t feel the same needs. Any insights would be appreciated. It gets harder by the day.
Have you tried learning something new together? You could join a softball team or something. A common goal can really help you find the human in each other. How does he feel about your FC? Is he just biding time hoping you’ll change? That would show a lack of understanding about who you are.
