Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Welcome, West! This has been a very safe, very good place for me as I have been working through my own faith crisis, I hope you find it to be helpful as well. I served a mission nine years ago, and while my level of doubt was nowhere near where it is now, I did not have a strong, burning testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I found a lot of happiness and success on my mission by dedicating myself to serving others and perhaps helping them find something that would make their lives better, even if that something isn’t necessarily The One True Church™. If I could go back and serve a mission again, I would. Good luck! I appreciate all the kind words and warm welcomes. It feels really good knowing I am not totally crazy for doubting (the jury is still out on if I am totally crazy for other reasons). Nibbler, thank you for taking the time to find and post the links to those threads (and yes, Cache Valley has its own special brand of bizarre). I read through each one and feel a lot better about my imminent, every-two-year performance review. I am solid on the first two questions. Question #3 is a little rockier, but I figure since I can’t give a great explanation of what is and what isn’t a part of The Gospel™ I get to define it however seems most correct to me and can affirm that it has, in fact, been “restored”. I can also sustain the GA’s because I feel “prophet, seer, and revelator” is a part of the job title – kind of like the Pope being called “The Vicar of God”. That’s a title he has because he fills an office. I can work with that. #’s 5 & 6 I’m good on. #7 I am confident in saying “no” – not due to my lack of affiliation, support, or agreement – but because I know that the teachings or practices accepted by the church are prone to change. Who knows who/what will or won’t be accepted tomorrow? #8 is a bit gray, but I do the best I can (or, at least, what I’ve convinced myself is my “best”) so I round up the answer from “mostly” to “yes”. Same goes for #’s 9, 10 & 12. #11 doesn’t apply. Sinning takes too much time and energy so I try to avoid it and as such feel worthy. Phew. It feels good to know I can answer both correctly and truthfully while being on a very different level of belief than I was the last time I had to answer those questions. Thanks for your help, everyone.
Cache Valley born and raised, cwald! However I am living out of the valley right now (not very far out of it, though). Love this thread. I have a hard time finding and focusing on positive things being taught at church (my fault, not the church’s) and I need to work on that. A couple of weeks ago I blessed my third child in fast and testimony meeting and felt the Spirit stronger during that blessing than I had felt it in years. I had blessed our two older children before going through my faith crisis and remember worrying about checking off all the right boxes (mission, temple, marriage, etc.) during each of their blessings but with this child I was able to give a truly heart-felt blessing to my son without running through a mental checklist. I blessed him to be kind, loving, tolerant, accepting, understanding, and to always remember that both God and Jesus love him very much and are always there for him. After the blessing I was feeling “in tune” and really paid attention to testimonies that were being said. All were beautiful and uplifting. Best fast and testimony meeting I had been to in ages. Thank you for the welcome, DarkJedi. I have been creeping around this site for months and your mantra of “take it slow, don’t dump all at once, and focus on what you do believe” has been taken to heart time and time again. As far as advice, I feel that I am on fairly solid (though unfamiliar) ground right now. It took a long time for me to come to grips with some of my more serious doubts, but I have actually felt closer to the Lord while going through my faith crisis than at any other time in my life. It has also been liberating being able to decide what I actually believe instead of being told what I believe. The teaching calling has been tough, but I can usually find a way to teach my own spin on the assigned material with some success. I do have a TR interview coming up soon and am having some anxiety trying to figure out how to give the “right” answers without being a liar, but I’m sure I’ll get it figured out. Isn’t having a faith crisis fun!?
