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Happy Thanksgiving! I just want to say that I read this site everyday and you all are great at putting things into words and give great insights. Something I am not good at and the reason I don’t post much. Also, if it weren’t for this site, I probably would have been depressed and felt alone through this transition in my life. So Thank you!
Unknownicon wrote:
Wondering if anyone else has wrestled with building a relationship with God outside the church framework and what that journey looked like. My hope is that a true relationship with God will help me understand my place in the church.
Absolutely! Recently I’ve been working on this and I’ll probably be working on this the rest of my life. To give you an idea of where I’m coming from and sorry this is long,
A couple months ago, I took an interactive class at a community college, where we delved deep into our personalities. We talked about our strengths, weaknesses, emotions, wants, needs, who we are meant to be, our struggles, Etc.
It was at that time that I had an awakening. I realized my whole life was spent doing what the church wanted me to do, and I wasn’t taking the time to focus on myself. As a result, my needs weren’t being met, and I wasn’t being the person God wanted me to be.
Since then, I’ve started adjusting things to make church better. Like I’ve decided I’m not going to renew my temple recommend, I’m not going to continue to pay tithing, I got rid of one of my callings that I had for 12 years, and I’m planning on getting rid of my ministering sisters.
My main goal in my life is to be my best self. Like doing those things that bring me joy (my bucket list, being out in nature, etc), facing my fears that are holding me back, focusing on my strengths & expanding upon them, getting to know people outside of the church when I have the time, (like doing meet ups). Etc
Everybody’s journey is different. You’ve got to figure out and do, what’s best for you. Know that you are not alone. I too struggle with anxiety and depression.
I love the idea of doing good in the world, but I hate how in the church doing good means spreading the gospel. Especially on social media. We spend so much of our time as a church focusing on missionary work, that we make little or no effort to do service. When so many other churches do.
I wish we would focus more on doing that than spreading the gospel. Like I love how around Christmas time, we do the Light the World campaign or when it’s national service day, each stake comes up with different ways to serve in our community.
I wish the church would do more of that, (I know we help out with the humanitarian aid when there’s natural disasters, but that’s not enough). Like what if each month, we as a church, came up with a couple simple acts of kindness we as individuals or families could do for people in our community. Like for family night one time, my sister made small slips of paper that said something like, “I’m thinking about you today”. We handed them out to people in public.
I think the church would make more of a difference in the world if we focused more on service than missionary work.
I am struggling with this right now. What used to bring me joy or fullfillment in life, gave me disappointments or wore me out so I stopped doing them. Right now my main focus in life is facing my anxiety fears a little bit at a time because the more I face them, the easier they become. Plus failing leads to success.
Also one thing that really helps me is being out in nature. Sometimes I’ll go to a park on a nice sunny day and sit on a bench for 20 or 30 minutes.
As for church, I’m really struggling with that too. I feel like I don’t get much out of it anymore, but what helps me to want to keep going, I try to focus on those things that I can look forward to. Like singing the hymns in sacrament meeting, doing my primary calling, (I love being amongst the children) potlucks or fun ward activities, and being able to talk with people.
I’m so happy about this change. It’s been my dream to have a civil wedding, (even before my faith crisis) but I didn’t feel like I could until now.
Now couples can choose how many people they want to invite or none at all to their sealing. Instead, they can invite most of their friends and family to a wedding ceremony.
Rumin8 wrote:Quote:The Church asks that these civil marriage ceremonies be simple and dignified.
Even with this announcement the church has to tell us what to do. I get where this is coming from, but it seems like the church always has to take the stance that we can’t govern ourselves and need guidance in all things. Like missionary farewells or homecomings, this seems like an effort to suck the pageantry and “fun” out of significant life events. I’ll admit I’m probably reading too much into this.
I don’t think you’re reading too much into this at all. It seems like whenever the church makes a change, they have to have some sort of control over the members and I think it’s because the church is afraid if they let members govern themselves, that might cause some of them to have doubts.
I found the quote that SD was talking about. It’s in words of a prophet under “The Lord wants you to be educated” second paragraph https://www.lds.org/study/new-era/2007/09/words-of-the-prophet-seek-learning?lang=eng “Inaddition, your education will strengthen your service in the Church”
dande48 wrote:Tying back in with the OP, I have a hard time seeing it as “Best Value” from my own personal experience. Your milage may vary. But I think the ranking came from very specific numerics, that didn’t consider a lot of factors. I think using very similar metrics, Forbes could declare the LDS Church “Best Value Religion in the Word”. I’m still hestitant to recommend it.
I wouldn’t recommend BYU either even though I’ve never been there. Having heard some of my friends and family talk about their experiences there, to me the bad outweighs the good.
Jaxzmin801 wrote:
I love the different perspectives on this thread. For myself, I love words, they have great power so I like to look up their origins. The origin of the word perfect, actually means complete. In this sense, I can see that Jesus was perfect in that he completed the atonement.
Thank you for sharing! I needed to hear this. Recently I’ve been struggling with my perspective of Jesus because my whole life I felt the church painted this picture of him as this perfect, humble, kind person while he was on the earth and that’s how I viewed him. Then this last week, I was studying Jesus last days for Easter when I came across the scriptures about him casting people out of the temple when he went to cleanse it, (if anyone’s wondering, it’s found in Matthew 21:12-16). After reading those verses I realized Jesus wasn’t perfect and I didn’t know how to view his life, but now after reading your post I feel like I’ve found my answer so thank you!
Jaxzmin801 wrote:I cannot be “perfect” by today’s definition. I CAN, be complete, and I CAN complete the tasks given me. Such as caring for my children, supporting my husband, being a friend to those I love. In this sense, for me at least, the idea of being perfect is not stressful, but empowering.
I love this. It’s given be a different and better perspective of my life.
SilentDawning wrote:
Helloe TGT – I like the fact you still find it OK to hold a TR. Once you fall off that wagon things get way more complicated. If you can keep being an outward member of the community, even though inwardly you are a grey thinker, then you’ve solved a lot of community problems right there. I envy you!
Thanks! Honestly, if my family wasn’t such black and white strong members, I wouldn’t bother having a recommend. Since they are, I don’t want them to be suspicious about my faith crisis so I continue to have one.
Easter Sunday wasn’t bad. In my ward, I really liked the hymns that were chosen, (singing is my favorite part of sacrament meeting). We sang “All Glory, Laud, and Honor”, “We’ll Sing All Hail to Jesus Name”, and “The Lord is My Shepherd” in that order. It was nice to sing hymns other than “I know That My Redeemer Lives”, “He is Risen”, “My Redeemer Lives” and “I Believe in Christ”, which are usually sung. I also agree we could learn more from other churches when it comes time to Easter and Christmas.
One thing I wish our church would do on Easter, is have sacrament meeting only and a big program. To me it’s a holiday that’s just as important as Christmas and one of the only few times we get to really focus on the Savior.
