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Done. You should post at forum.newordermormon.org (known as NOM as mackay11 indicated). Lots of split marriages there. The brethren receive a “living wage” and/or all of their expenses are covered. Most people call this a salary. Since they are full time this is probably justified. How much their “living wage” is isn’t disclosed, but lots of those who have worked for the church their whole lives have multiple homes and have domestic help. You should read the link provided by turingurambar.
Welcome from another scientist. We can’t find truth by accepting the first theory we have been given and only accept evidence that supports that theory while rejecting all evidence that refutes it. Truth is found by testing theories, by trying to break them, and by trying out alternative theories that are supported by the same evidence.
For me, my testimony was built on the evidence that is the confirmation of the spirit. But that fell apart as I grew to know and appreciate the other 99.9% of the world that is non-Mormon (is God that ineffective that so few of his children know the real truth, or doesn’t he care?) and realize that their beliefs (in Islam for example) are based on very similar spiritual feelings and experiences. Listen to a Muslim describe their pilgrimage to Mecca and tell me that their spiritual experiences aren’t real or valid. These are life-changing events for them that can bring them to tears. Why would God confirm very different faiths through the Holy Ghost?
Bad behavior of church leaders certainly doesn’t help. Also the Book of Mormon and JS put out some testable hypotheses that haven’t stood up.
Participation in the church has many redeeming qualities for some regardless of whether they accept every doctrine, or believe it to be divine.
Best wishes on your new journey of discovery.
You could define God as evolution, science, the unknowns of the universe.? Follow the path of the greatest amount of happiness for you and your family, and the least amount of pain and hurt for others. This is what God would want. For me that means I just say what I need to say to get a temple recommend and go. I have no desire to harm the church.
Confession can make a mountain out of a mole-hill. You are forcing the poor bishop to be involved in something he doesn’t really wish to be (unless he’s a bit of a perv). Work it out with God. Confess to him. Jesus has the power to forgive you. Your bishop doesn’t. It is obviously not possible to prove or disprove God’s existence. It is a choice to believe in him. It is a choice to disbelieve in him. Because God makes himself impossible to know for sure I am confident that he does not have a list of specific dos and don’ts that are imperative to succeed in this life. Else he would make these clear, which he doesn’t. For me right now God is a mixture of mankind’s desire to be good and kind and loving, a Teddy bear to hug when I’m sad or apprehensive, and an answer to everything I can’t explain about the universe.
The ubiquity of a belief in God(s) now and throughout history points to the fact that this belief in a higher power is good and useful to us humans. It works for us. It provides benefits. So I intend to try to obtain or retain these benefits for myself and my family by keeping my mind and heart open to God.
Here is my public prayer: “God, or Heavenly Father, I am ready and willing to do whatever it is you would like me to do. Just please make it clear so that my scientific mind will accept it. In the meantime, I’m not going to make myself, my family, or others unhappy following an arbitrary set of rules (amongst many to choose from on this earth). I feel that unhappiness for us can’t be your objective. Instead I will devote my life to loving and serving others and try very hard not to hurt anyone. In Jesus’s name, Amen”
I respectfully disagree with SD. It should be clear that these teachings lead to unnecessary, yet very real and immense pain and suffering. They are wrong, not Christ-like, and should be rooted out like the past prejudice against blacks was. Religion is everywhere in human society because it works. It fills some of our very human needs. We might be able to glean those benefits by participating without believing. I’m trying to figure out how to do that. Thanks for everyone’s insights. A couple pieces of very good advice that I received that have made a huge difference for me: 1) Go slow. Keep doing what your doing until you are confident of your path forward and the ramifications of taking it. 2) redefine what your new values are and live according to them. I still need to exercise self control if I want to be happy. For me, I don’t believe the church is true. But I realize that people need a supportive community to be happy. The church is a actually a really good community/tribe to belong to. Although it is possible, most people don’t replace this function that the church plays in their lives when they leave. I stay in for my wife and kids, and to keep my friends and supportive community in the church.
I’m a year into my complete loss of faith. My wife is understanding, but doesn’t agree with me. Our compromise is that I don’t tell the kids the church isn’t true, but we slowly introduce some of the non-faith promoting issues in FHE without bias. The goal is to help the kids know that the prophets and apostles are men that don’t always speak for God, and thus some of the church teachings are open to reinterpretation.
There is some crazy people and stuff in the church. You don’t have to believe it all if you don’t want. Take what you want, throw out the rest. It’s OK. A painless path forward is to quietly remove it from the TR questions. This would relegate it back to a word of wisdom. It would make it much easier to remain a member of this church if the temple recommend questions went away entirely. They were set up to protect the sanctity of the temple. Well now anybody in the entire world can watch the entire ceremony on YouTube, and get a transcript with a few clicks. Google knows all. So now all it does is break up families (can’t attend weddings, the idea of empty seats in the CK) and causes people who leave to be bitter and fight against the church because it is not possible to quietly stop believing. It forces members to be all in, all out, or to lie to their bishops. Is the real underlying reason for the TR interview because it increases tithing revenue? Because the sanctity of the temple is lost, and forever. Sad, but true.
