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DarkJedi wrote:
Leaders are “allowed” to ask other than the standard questions if your answer to a standard question may prompt clarification. “I try hard” is an acceptable answer to the question about being honest, but not so much for the chastity question
I’m just curious if this is hypothetical or if this is something that has occurred?
I posted about my situation a few years ago. As far as what I said in that thread, not much has changed. So in short, we had something similar to my concerns expressed here, but not exactly. We haven’t been back to church since, but now I am strongly considering giving it a try. I don’t expect she feels the same, at least for now. What occurred with that bishop a few years back hit her very hard and sadly, in the 14 years she has been a member she has had a few poor experiences with different bishops. We do have a different one now and I’m not really familiar with him.
https://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?t=9717 Presuming I do go to some meetings my only other real concern at this point is one or two members where who I have zero desire to associate with, and I fully anticipate they will try. But that’s another story for another day.
Roy wrote:
For me this seems like an existential question. What does my life mean if I have no descendants to point to for meaning? Who will remember me? Who will inherit my stuff? I think the answers could be different for everyone. Some may find comfort in telling their story or discovering the story of their ancestors. Others might find meaning in community service. Maybe you find meaning by building something that will outlive you. Maybe you find meaning in becoming connected to others.Some who believe in eternal life might not feel this to be an issue at all (since they will always live on).
I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I likely only have two descendants to carry on my line, out of my four kids only one looks like they’ll ever had children, they have one son and one daughter. Out of my first cousins on that line, one had two sons who apparently will never have children, one was adopted into the family, and one female I’m not close to I think has a child or two, but they’re somewhat detached from the family.So my line should carry on, but much less than someone might expect once you look at the descendants of my grandparents. My friend doesn’t have that, she has one daughter who will apparently never have a baby. Her daughter is now in her late 20s and is about to be married. She has two step-kids and one they both just adopted. Her husband-to-be has no interest in another baby at this stage. My friend is thrilled to have an adopted grandchild, she never even expected that much, but she now knows there will be no one to carry on her line.
Roy wrote:
DarkJedi wrote:
*I am looking at retirement in 2022 so there will be a difference in what I pay anyway.
I too have wondered about how retirement might change the tithing equation.
On one hand, my income will be almost zero since I would be living of the “income” of previous years.
That’s where I am now. I retired on SSDI and, even though I can’t claim I was always a full tithe payer, with my cancer I don’t expect to be around long enough to get back more than I paid in over the years. I’ve mentioned here in the past why I have other challenges getting a TR so I doubt it will be a factor, but if asked I would answer that I am in compliance with that commandment.I had no idea they had still be doing time-only marriages in temples, though I see it was only approved under fairly restrictive circumstances. My mother was sealed to her first husband, who wound up dying in WW2 and leaving her as a widow on her 21st birthday, with a 2 month old infant, my half-brother. She met my dad at college after the war and it took several years, but they eventually married. They had a time-only marriage in the Manti temple, which was the temple for their district even though they lived in Missouri. I even remember a story that they traveled to Manti by bus, only to find out to their surprise the town didn’t even have a hotel in 1952. They met a local resident who helped arrange for them to stay in two members’ homes until their ceremony the next day.
Cnsl1 wrote:
I think that given the level of caffeine you feel you need (300mg) in order to function normally, you’d be hard pressed to find that easily with coffee and you’d probably be spending about what you’re already spending on one energy drink, unless you make it yourself, but that also requires some investment.IMO, you’d probably be better off purchasing caffeine pills, and your Dr may be able to get you a prescription for a medication with high caffeine. Just a thought.
If you’ve never drank coffee, you may dislike the taste as it’s rather bitter. I’ve never developed a taste for it, and yes I’ve tried. I just don’t like it and prefer tea, which can also be had cheap and may be another option for you. Again, the amount (300mg) is going to require multiple servings.
Green tea has definite health benefits and does also have some caffeine. There are several drinks that incorporate green tea into an energy drink–the V8 energy drinks come to mind. 80 mg in 8 oz, so again, probably not cost effective for you.
I’m sure you’ve learned to be cautious and informed with “energy drinks” as they are not all created equal. Some have inane amounts of sugar. Others add lots of other stuff that may give you additional boost, like guarana and vitamin B.
Also, in your situation, are testosterone shots off the consideration list? IMO, that’s more effective than caffeine.
Good luck
I was WAY slow in responding to this, ,my apologies. Yeah, unfortunately testosterone therapy is off the table, very much so. Much of my fatigue is from injections I get every few months for the past decade to knock down my testosterone, due to my prostate cancer. That’s the main fuel for prostate cancer.My standard energy drink is Rockstar, which offers a few flavors with 300mg of caffeine. A couple of them are horrid, like Cotton Candy or Marshmallow, but a couple of the others are decent. They have zero calories, so no sugar.
Over the past day or so I’ve been wondering if just straight caffeine is really going to do it for me or not, or if it would just make me jittery. Like you said, energy drinks have other energy boosting components. We’ll see how it goes, I might have to just stick with them, or I may still give coffee a try. I am a bit wary of the taste, the aroma never appealed to me.
Excellent link, I really appreciate that. This may help me in more than one aspect of my life these days. Coke, Mountain Dew, etc are just about useless. The energy drinks I use are the extra strength version, at 300 mg of caffeine each. I wouldn’t get that much out of a six-pack of Coke. Now if they want to put the cocaine back in it…
😆 😆 😆 I sincerely hope this forum is not nearing its end. What I do see is people losing their connection to the church to a greater degree with the shutdowns and distancing. Even if participation here is reduced, I feel this forum is definitely as important as ever. I haven’t seen many other members of our ward over the past year. I have gotten a few text messages from my home teacher (or whatever they’re called these days), but that’s been very limited and not even on a monthly basis. There was another couple we reached out to earlier in the pandemic and at the time they acted very glad to hear from us and when we visited several times, but they became increasing hard to reach. They wouldn’t answer their phone unless we tried from something other than our regular number so they didn’t have our name pop up when we called, or they started coming up with more excuses about it being a bad time to visit. Eventually we just gave up, which is sad because we really wanted to be closer friends with them. In short, a lot of members are losing their connection to the church, which makes this forum as important as ever.
Personally, as far as government goes, I don’t think government should be involved in marriages at all. Marriage licenses were only popularized in the 1800s (in the U.S. at least) as a means of clamping down on inter-racial marriages. We didn’t used to have to ask permission in the form of buying a marriage license, with the particular rules they expect people to follow. As far as religion, personally I am a bit disturbed by this move by the Catholic church. I’m not homophobic, I don’t have a “phobia” over the issue, I simply disagree with it. Especially since the previous pope was crystal clear about his position on prohibiting it. I do not claim to be totally objective on this whole issue. My first marriage ended because, after nearly 20 years and four kids, my ex announced one day that she never really preferred men. Within a couple of months of that announcement she was screaming at me that I had turned her into a lesbian, in spite of the fact she had recently shared about an experience she had with a woman years before we met. The last I heard, she is now married to a woman about twenty years older than herself.
So no, I stand opposed to same sex marriages. I hope the LDS church does not follow suit. Love everyone, but that does not mean we have to love their actions and choices.
I have a few misgivings about the statements it now makes about medical cannabis. I used cannabis for the very first time several years ago to fight my prostate cancer. I used cannabis oil, typically called RSO or FECO, and when I did the standard 60-gram protocol it brought my PSA *way* down, lower than anything the doctors had been able to accomplish. Unfortunately I had to return to my home state and lost access. Then two years ago I had to go through chemo and I was able to access a very limited supply, so I used it during chemo to abate the nausea. The pills the doc gave me for that didn’t touch it, but the oil, taking a very small dose every 8 hours, worked very well. In the second half of my chemo the side-effects got worse and I started having some break-through nausea so I smoked some to stave off the worst of it. Again, the prescription anti-nausea meds didn’t do a thing for me, I tried, but the oil combined with a little smoking did the trick very well. I know of others who smoke or vape for other legitimate medical needs. The new pills the doctor put me on this year really knock down my appetite and to take cannabis oil simply to stimulate my desire to eat is like using a sledgehammer to kill an ant. A few puffs on a vape or raw bud does the trick right away. I know of people with children who suffer seizures. They can use oil, but it takes too long when they’re suffering an active attack, so smoke or vape can act much faster for some individuals to help avoid the very real risk of brain damage. There are other situations, as well.
I can’t think of a single other instance where we have been told which forms of administration of a medication may be used, under medical guidance.
nibbler wrote:
I was in a no suit coat mission but we had to have them for the MTC and the plane rides. We lugged our unused suit coat from town to town during transfers.
I was in Hawaii 40 years ago. We wore suit coats for church and a couple of similar occasions. The one oddity when I arrived there was that we were only allowed to wear dark, solid color ties. No stripes and certainly like the “aloha” ties that were available. The next mission president loosened up that rule, though.Quote:I remember hearing of missions in… Tonga? where missionaries could were lava-lavas, and that was decades ago.
We had missionaries arrive from Tonga occasionally with their white shirts, ties, flip-flops, and lava-lavas. I had one, really just a couple of yards from a bolt of cloth, that I’d wear around home like a robe. IIRC they’d serve a three year mission, half in Tonga and half in Hawaii or elsewhere.One thing I hope changes, at least this is the way things are done locally, is that when the building is cleaned they’ll use disinfectant instead of plain water to clean things like door handles and such. This is spot on relevant for me right now. My situation is a little different, of course. What has been troubling me is how to “forgive” someone for something they did to me when. A) they now totally deny they did it at all, and 
they were never told the severity of the consequences, that it could have killed me. I won’t stick with the Reader’s Digest version for now, but there was a huge blow-up between my better half and her adult daughter. It got physical. At the time I was about two months past my last chemo infusion and still very much affected by fatigue and weakness, so I was staying clear of any of the physical part. I wasn’t even verbally attacking her daughter. The only thing I really did was try (futilely) to calm my better half. She wasn’t the aggressor, but that was all I could really do. At one point I was sitting on the floor and her daughter came over screaming at me with a spray can of some sort, mocking me for something that really made no sense, then sprayed me with whatever was in the can in my face and on my still-bald head. That was the night she was kicked out for good. She had only been there for a few months after breaking up with her boyfriend, but it had been a nightmare to have her here. After she left I was sitting in the living room and started feeling really weird. I realized my heart was going wonky, irregular beats that seemed to be both fast and slow at times. Then I started feeling very faint. I realized I was going into shock and dragged myself to a tub, ran it full of hot water and got in with my feet propped up. When I finally had a chance to check the can she sprayed me with it was Freon, one of those kits you use at home to recharge you car AC. Freon toxicity can cause the exact symptoms I experienced that night, up to and including sudden death from exposure. In my weakened state, I was very vulnerable.
Now mother and daughter are speaking occasionally (trust me, my better half was attacked more seriously than I was) and her daughter shows up at the house once in awhile. I can’t bring myself to speak to her. I have felt like I need to forgive her, but how can I forgive someone who is in complete denial that she did anything wrong? She has rewritten the entire situation to make herself out as the victim. Trust me, that’s an absolute distortion of what happened. And she denies that she did anything at all to me.
DarkJedi wrote:
Gomezaddams51 wrote:
I have a suggestion for you. Get married in a civil ceremony and then you won’t be breaking any asinine rules.
The church’s rules aren’t the only considerations in this case. Tinsoldier stated in one of the earlier posts that there are other considerations involving finances, loss of income, etc.
Exactly. Foremost among the problems is, as I said earlier, if we marry then she will lose access to benefits that would support her after I’m gone. How responsible would it be for me to insist we marry if it meant that? Seems to me like that would be immoral.
