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Somebody needs to tell Elder Gong that if he wants to be called to the 12 he needs to pander. Namely, express his devote love and care for Utah and SLC to the 15. I personally think Ucthdorf and Holland may be closely aligned. Thereby, having two allies in the 15. I also would not throw out Christofferson as another possible ally. If you really want to be left alone put a picture of your Temple clothes on FB. The only way somebody would bother you then is if they were following through on their plan to kill you. I give Elder Bednar credit for A) talking on a new topic and 
reaching out to people who feel that way and C) defending his friends. As far as the new apostles, I have seen and heard some things I really like. Elder Renuland stood out to me during conference because he was taking the time to talk to the worker or security right by him. Call me a nit picker, but some of the apostles don’t even shake their hands. I also liked how his wife jumped right in the fray after a session shaking all the apostles hands while the other wives seemed passive. That tells me she surely has influence over Elder Renuland and may influence the church for the better. I also liked the story I heard about Bishop Stevenson not being to spiritual and he looked bored during the last session. That may be a good and interesting change for leadership that he is not all spiritually minded. I’m also really liking what I have been hearing about Elder Rasband despite my initial reaction that he was overdoing it as an apostle and church leader.
Thanks for all the advice! I have to say I want to confess, but I don’t feel guilty about the act. My mind and soul are already numb from living with it so long. The Savior and Heavenly Father understand. My goal is to go completely straight in the gospel and I believe confession is a first step. I understand I will probably and rightfully be exed. It may not be a bad thing I need a fresh start. My fear is that I will get disgruntled with being exed and fall away again for a season. Yes, I lied. It is not something I am particularly proud of. As far as your advice it makes sense. It is the right thing to do. The problem is having to confess to a Bishop thereby tainting me at my new ward. At the end of the day, I know the Savior is what matters most. With that said, I will probably take your advice and let the consequences follow so to speak. That still does not change that the question exists damaging faith and possibly causing investigators not to join. The more I think about it that seems like the only reason the question would exist — to keep “gays” out. They just posted the following on their ponderizing FB page: Hi All,
We have decided that it is best to take down the Ponderize.us page because of those who were offended by our idea. We ensure you that we only had good intentions and continue to believe that this would have been a great way to remember to Ponderize but we would rather shut down the site than let a wonderful message be tainted.
We will keep this Facebook page and will continue posting weekly scriptures and hope you do the same!”
At risk of exposing myself — I simply don’t care anymore — I will share what really killed it from the beginning. The question asking rather you have had a gay experience or whatever it is prior to baptism. I had one, but I was too ashamed to admit it. Before that question I had a powerful miracle spiritual experience happen that made my faith very strong. It was so strong in fact that I was going perfectly and truly straight in the gospel — not having sex with girlfriend, not doing anything bad, quit everything with a drop, was determined to serve a mission. That question killed me and I am surprised my ex or the missionaries did not see my face drop to new depths when that question was asked. This is my first time admitting it and I would never admit it in person under any circumstance especially knowing the hoops you have to fly through with the church. Needless to say, I think that is a bad and faith destroying question. After that question, I reverted immediately back to everything I was doing before and was doing even worse. I still have faith, but it is hard to jump over that hurdle. I never think my faith will go back to what it was prior to that question. 😮 I don’t feel like I was misled much at all about church history. There was of course the common response to polygamy that there were more women than men. I never believed it because I was looking up church history from the jump. My conversion was based off reading the BOM, miracles and a powerful witness watching Safety for the Soul by Holland. I felt pretty bad for him. It seemed like he was turning and look at the teleprompters too fast and got ill I read one of his books once and had the impression that he was a real faithful guy. Thanks for sharing!
