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I think everyone must feel like this poppyseed! It has helped me to remember that all these people I deal with are as imperfect as I am, but my job is to learn to be truly Christlike. I find that when I do my VT with this in mind I truly enjoy it and feel liberated. I’m working on it. But I like to remember that I am free, I am not bound. Sometimes I only have time to make a phone call, but if it is sincere that is what matters, they know. I try hard to be very gracious to my home teachers and make them feel valuable – it has made a huge difference. I have come to really look forward to their visits and especially their blessing on my home. I am not preaching! Just telling you what has helped me. Also I have to be very careful to what I say yes to, and then when I do, do it with gusto. I know what you mean. My brother in law says that we should never ever say, this is the only true church. He claims it is a total put off. We should say like Pres. Hinckley said, bring all the truth you have and see what we can add to it. But I find it confusing because so many people I talk to believe that anything goes, believe everything if it makes you feel good – even Buddhism. I believe that you have to make a stand sometime and say “there is only one true church” What do you think? My heart goes out to you. My son has recently been diagnosed with bipolar and spent months in the hospital. No one can understand the heartache until you have been through this. I too felt like “How could God do this to us?” “Why get blessing after blessing to no avail?” It was confusing and at times I felt totally in the dark. I had to make a conscious choice to hang on to the truth and prove to God that I had faith in Him even in the dark. Slowly I have come out of that darkness – I have tried to see what I can learn from this experience, I have tried to be grateful for any tiny improvement and good thing in my life, I have gained great empathy for anyone that suffers, I have gained new insights into the atonement to know that Jesus Christ suffered not only for our sins but for our pain and sickness. He will take this all away. Life is only a short moment and the older I get the more I can see how fragile and short. My son suffers still, the meds are terrible, but his wife is loving to him, he is able to work a little and many people have been kind. Almost everyone I know has very hard things they are dealing with. My son has shown great courage and my love for him has increased even more than I thought possible. I am starting to understand that sometimes our prayers and blessings are answered in the Lord’s time and in his way, but they are answered. I love you! I’ve come to the conclusion, that we really are tested to the limits to see if we will really forgive and not judge a living soul even bishops who mess up. I have learned to go to church with a glad heart and see who I can help. Every single person has hard things they are going through – I go to church and no one knows what heartache I have – but I can forget it and listen and help someone through their pain. Once I thought I couldn’t go to church ever again because the heartache was so bad that I would cry constantly, but my husband encouraged me to go and the Lord blessed me, the talks were just what I needed to hear and I felt love from all the imperfect people. Love to you!
