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Roy- I’ll have to look that book up, thanks for pointing it out. I would also appreciate any thoughts you might have.
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Wayfairer- It seems Taoism/Daoism is focused more on what is and not so much expectations. I think a lot of my frustrations come from unmet expectations I have in faith or that others have in me. Revisiting the Dao seems to be helping me deal with things by admitting that maybe I don’t have to deal with everything, maybe it doesn’t matter what others think as long as I am getting things right inside. Of course I am still commited to family and such but I’ve really decided that if I am not functioning inside then I’m not going to be much use to others on the outside. I’ve been working through the first few chapters of the Tao De Ching and I really think its helping me to center. Had a great Sunday at church, best one in a long time, which is really funny. Didn’t take nearly as much personally. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
On the going to the temple part, last time my wife and I went she asked me what spiritual insights I got when we were leaving, and when I said the spirit told me I should worry less about what people think about my bicycle riding (it’s my stress outlet and her mother is often critical as men aren’t supposed to have outlets other than gardening). She flew into tears and it was a horrible afternoon. Apparently she got a different revelation. So there is definitely not a, “just do this” thing that works for everyone I’m afraid. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
Angrymormon- that’s definitely a possibility. That’s the first time I’ve mentioned that experience but it really is one of the biggies if I have to look at questioning priesthood authority in my life. You get all those wonderful stories in primary about prophets and folks doing secret acts of kindness and then you do it and your priesthood leader unknowingly shoots you out of the sky, that was tough. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
Thanks HPMBH. Although I have decided things aren’t as perfect as everyone says they are I do still want to and believe I can contribute, just not at the expense of sanity and all I hold dear anymore, and am coming to decide boundaries may be useful. I don’t think the gospel means for us to be miserable in this life so I am finding I need to sift out the things the church expects that are causing that and accentuate the parts that don’t. Thanks Church, it is definitely a weakness of mine that I care way too much about what others think of me. It’s probably what kept me digging my own hole so long in suffering. I’m working on being a little more unconcerned, but still don’t want to be unconcerned to the point I get disciplined. So I suppose I need to draw some boundaries and figure a happier medium than taking everything personally. I am proud to report I stopped wearing a suit to church. Sounds dumb but it is kind of a big thing for me. Why do we dress like businessmen at church anyway? I guess it’s historical but seems to be becoming an anachronism to me. I’m starting to concentrate more on inward spirituality as opposed to outward. Being a disciple as opposed to a pharisee. To me the shedding of the suit symbolizes that. I’ve often had a different sort of testimony I think from those around me and I always thought I needed to get a testimony just like their’s which has led to a lot of frustration. When you say rely more on your own feelings, I am coming to understand the importance of that a lot more now. I think the church culture expects everyone to be an A. On this board, it seems there are all letters of the alphabet so to speak and so it seems like it will be a place I can truly be myself, which is good practice for me.
I think bettering yourself, ie. ‘repentence’, ultimately leads to feeling better, whereas trying to be something your not only leads to frustration. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
I think on the mental health front, it is only recently that the church came to acknowledge Mental Illness as a legitimate problem so outsourcing there is probably a good thing in my opinion as you will probably get someone with a bit more experience. Conversely though, the mental health profession itself has really only been making good progress since the early 90’s itself so I can’t be too hard on the church there. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
I wish sometimes I was in the position to try this, part of the joy of finding this site was finding strategies to get by because I can’t. For now I’ve decided to ditch the suit and sit out of Sunday school and priesthood periodically. It seems to help a bit on bad days. If you have the means to try without hurting anyone I’d say experiment and see if a week or two off help now and then. It’s all about judging the fruits sometimes I think. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
I struggle with that concept right now but I have had a lot thrust on me lately. There are those who would interpret it as meaning a person doesn’t get any downtime to recharge. I would hope that it doesn’t mean a person isn’t allowed some happiness in this life but sometimes that’s what it seems to mean to me. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
Thanks Roy. I read the staying LDS doc yesterday and the advice in there to apply the same respect to those you find frustrating that you apply to folk of other faiths was very enlightening and freeing. I think remembering that will be good for my marriage and the other members I have found frustrating in recent months. This site is a goldmine of wisdom. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
I don’t mean to challenge anyone who believes in a very involved God incidentally, just say that it hasn’t worked that way for me seemingly. Pat blessing says I’m a ‘special’ child so it might just be me. Anyway, it’s easier for me to love God with this interpretation of things, but perhaps I’ll find another explanation at some point. Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk 2
