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I was wondering how soon this post would pop up. 
I think the same about Elder Oaks’ reference. As soon as the news popped up on my feed today, I thought immediately of his talk and how timely it was — and how great that it came over the weekend right before the decision. The presidency definitely knew the ruling or something similar to it was coming, and I am so glad that it was one of the Twelve who said that over the GC pulpit. Unfortunately, I don’t think it will change many members’ attitudes or behaviors towards those who identify gay or are active allies, but at least now we’ve got a solid reference.
Francoise2900 wrote:Regarding a question about same-sex attraction in a Stake-level pre-mission interview: that question is prompt possible followup to find out how the missionary is doing now. I heard it explained that a faithful member headed for a mission might be placed in a position of too much pressure or conflict if they are living 24-hrs with someone of the same gender. Outside of the mission they have more choice in their associations and how they handle situations. It’s not so much a “worthiness” question as an “appropriateness” question–“Is a mission a good idea?”
That makes all the sense. Thank you very much for the insight.I’ve finally gotten around to reading this full thread, and I’m glad it’s here. Thanks for bringing it up and the following discussion. The whole primary incident that led to my FC was me wanting to know why people doubted. Through my research, I did come to realize that a lot of the church is folklore and myth. That was so difficult for me at first, because I used to be in the certainty camp, thus the FC. Just weeks before, I was on a road trip where everyone was an ex-Mormon but me, and indeed a couple times we did talk about religion, and it was interesting for me, to say the least. But now I believe the doubt and the FC was exactly what I needed and what God intended for me. I am in a much better spiritual place than I was before, because I’ve been able to define my own faith and beliefs, and thus make them much stronger.
There will always be risk in doubting. I could have very easily gone the opposite and left the church altogether rather than being a much better (in my mind) voice within what is mostly a very single-minded culture.The church runs the risk of losing a lot of members if it very openly encourages doubt, because there’s just so much about the church that can cause people to doubt. However, it also runs the risk in doing what it’s doing now, in trying to make people feel that any doubt at all and not being in the certainty camp is a sin, and then when they discover the doubt on their own, it’s much more difficult to process.
Looking back, I personally feel like God was preparing me for many, many years prior to my FC, and most of that preparation was from sources well outside the church. I do believe that the higher power knows what we need. For some people, that might be mostly silence. For others that’s a ton of smaller things that we then choose to see as a higher power. I like the thought presented that there are many definitions of doubt, and that not all of them are negative, because I definitely feel that way about it. I suppose it just depends on whether it leads to a negative or positive consequence for the doubter.
The rituals in the church don’t bother me too much, but I have a feeling it’s because I’m like what DJ mentioned in that I like to look more at the symbolism of things. A lot of what I choose to participate in with the church (and a lot of things outside of the church, actually) I view as tradition based, which works fine for me, because my family’s culture has a lot of influence from cultures with very strong tradition-based mindsets. The traditions we have represent something on a personal level to us, so it’s something that, while other people share in the same tradition/ritual, it’s different and special for us. Hopefully that makes sense. I’m not 100% awake at the moment.
Quote:West – thank you for sharing this, I believe this is how my teenager feels too. It is hard to tell as she sometimes says what she think I want to hear instead of what she want. But I think that is just part of being her age.
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Very likely.
Thanks, Ray, for the list. I missed Packer’s talk, so I’m curious now to hear it, especially since I have very…mixed feelings about him in general, many of which existed pre-FC for me. Really glad that the talks I did manage to catch included Holland’s and Monson’s. Looks like I’ll have a lot to listen to on the way to and from work as soon as they get them up on the Android app. Old-Timer wrote:President Monson’s talk is wonderful. I really love that man.
The sentence that is going to show up on Facebook and other online places is:
Quote:Walking
where(Jesus) walked is less important than walking AShe walked. Indeed, it has already begun.
Just caught the last half of McConkie’s talk. I really struggled with that one. I ended up not paying attention to a lot of it, so not entirely sure what she said. Jumping back to yesterday, definitely recommend Holland’s talk to everyone. Of course, that was one of the few I caught, so I can’t really compare, but it definitely is a highlight of conference for me.
I didn’t get to listen/watch Elder Wong’s talk this morning, but I’m watching the other non-English one right now (Spanish, I believe?) I don’t mind the overdub so much, but I do wish that someday, if they continue with these types of talks (I certainly hope they do), they’ll be able to switch to subtitles. I love that this is the new direction. I’ve only caught a few of the talks overall so far. A few I’m struggling with, but there have also been many points I’ve appreciated or at least been able to…accept, I think is the word I’m looking for? It’s my first conference post-FC, so this has been interesting.
When I was younger, I never got along with the girls or even the guys in my Primary and YW. I very rarely went to mutual and only went to the big summer activities because I liked going on adventures, and for the most part, the leaders were very nice to me. The ward was also generally very well-off, and all the YW were athletes and cheerleaders and student body officers, and I was a liberal arts freak. Several times, I went to my friends’ wards and mutual activities instead, and I absolutely loved it there. I wished many times that somehow I would get transferred to their wards instead. I think going to a new ward would be great for your family. In fact, I really encourage it. Your mental health is more important than trying to force people to behave like good people.
I am in the process of turning in mission papers and have met with my bishop several times over the past few weeks. Our stake president has apparently passed along a list of questions to the bishops to ask prospective missionaries during the application process. I have no idea if it’s a church-wide thing or just our stake, but it sounded like just our stake. If I remember correctly, one of the questions was about whether or not the prospective missionary has ever experienced same-sex attraction. I’m not sure what the bishop or the stake president does with the answers. It seemed to be the first time my bishop had ever seen the questions, actually. Thought it was interesting to pass along here. Very true that we have a long way to go. But also true that the acknowledgement step is necessary. Recognizing something for what it is, is the surest way to proper change, because it opens the door. Maybe just a tiny crack, but still, an open door is an open door. I’m also the type who drops by the forum at least once a day to read up on new posts, but whenever I go to make a post, I always chicken out. Very unusual for such a chatterbox like myself. I think this forum is the only one where I’ve been so quiet. But here, there we go, I’m responding, now. Thank you, SilentDawning. It’s definitely a decision I’ve been thinking a lot about, and I very much appreciate different perspectives, so thank you! However, cons one and two are what I’ve been thinking a lot about, particularly con one. I think, though, that I’ll just have to rely on the bare foundation testimony I have with me now. For some reason, that feels like the right decision, although that may be my confidence with my long-standing ability to talk my way out of most situations, hahaha. I was initially worried about con three…but after speaking with my bishop and my family, I don’t have to be worried about that anymore, and that’s a definite relief. There are many things working in my favor for this financially-wise, and for that I am very grateful to whatever high powers lined up the dominoes for me just so.
I’m not anticipating a warm fuzzy feeling to be a confirmation on whether I should or shouldn’t go, and to be honest, that sort of makes the decision much, much easier than pre-FC, because it feels more like a choice in tune with my love of using logic and planning and intelligence to make important decisions. The God of my personal faith does not work the warm fuzzy feeling way with my life. But throughout my life, the higher powers I believe in have consistently worked the same way. I do have some decisions to make. And bit by bit, I’m making them. Thank you most sincerely for your perspective. I need to definitely think longer on cons one and two. I’ll certainly be reading a lot more in this forum, as well!
Hello, welcome to the site! I am several weeks into my own FC, and I’ve stopped praying like I used to as a result; that doesn’t mean I don’t pray at all, it’s just that it’s a much more personal and private thing that I have adapted to fit the beliefs I have thought about and considered to be the truth for my own faith. It has caused me to step out of some really hard-ground habits, but I believe it’s only helped. Really, I can only repeat what has already been said — take a step back, and determine what beliefs you still hold true for yourself. You may find it brings you a lot of anger and frustration, maybe even fear as it did in my case. However, the goal is to find a personal belief system in which you can find peace. I don’t have answers for you. But I do have advice stemming from my own experiences and my currently limited interactions with this group, and I do have time to listen and reply. You aren’t alone.
