[willb1993]

Forgotten_Charity wrote:

I think SD and OON are both excellent comments for help.

It is not like wishing low self esteem or habits away. It takes positive mental thinking which is hard to find because it isn’t taught in most environments. Most of the common consensus people reach regarding it are way off base. There are some books available that are great but it helps to have interaction of how to think in positives ways looking at things from different healthy perspectives. Everyone is a works in progress. As such we all have limitations. Some can be overcome in short time for some and much longer for others. While some take a lifetime to master. Take things step at a time. Go out and enjoy things that give you life and happiness. Not by telling yourself not to focus on certain things to force yourself out of it but by focusing on what does speak to your spirit and bring it joy. Over time you become preoccupied buy what you aren’t doing right, can be a dangerous path to continue to go down. Focus on what you are doing right, while acknowledging your mistakes(no one is perfect no matter how they appear to be).

But most of all forgiveness and moving forward begins with self and radiates outwards. GF are nice to have but relationships can compound problems with self esteem issues and make it worse. Try to work on yourself first. If you have a relationship it will last by being healthy.

I guess take it from a guy who learned the hard way, if you can’t take care of yourself first any every that you have won’t sustain to take care of others. Take care of yourself please. Although it would be nice, you can’t count on others to help.

I will try to link books latter when I have the time. Mediation often helps with quite reflection as your body, spirit and mind speak to you and tell you what they need. It helps a tom once you learn to hear yourself, often times we can get so busy or so preoccupied with thought that we drowned it out. Hence the phrase (stop to smell the roses).

Always take time to the beauty in life(what ever that means for you).

P.S. Relationships are great but if you are looking for one to make you happy it is destructive because it creates co-dependency. Be happy with yourself first before entering in one if you want it to last and stay healthy for both of you(whom ever that is now or future). Take care.

Thanks. I cannot describe how grateful I am for this.

[willb1993]

DarkJedi wrote:

willb1993 wrote:

DarkJedi wrote:

I second SD’s idea of seeing a counselor. It’s really not a bad thing. I also agree with your mom – university will probably be better than community college if only because some community colleges can be very much like high school. I dislike how some members of the church seem to try to make a mission a requirement – it’s not, and there are some lots of guys who just shouldn’t go for various reasons. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go, that’s up to you to decide, but go because you want to go and feel ready to go, not because it’s expected. You can always remind people Pres. Monson didn’t serve a mission and he seems to have turned out OK and has met with a little success in the church.

Actually what’s ironic about your statement is that I said something similar after President Monson Announced the lowering of ages for sister missionaries and guy missionaries. While I appreciated him receiving revelation and never said it was wrong, I told some people that it’s not a requirement to go at that age and that it’s more of an eligibility thing when it comes to being able to serve at 18 years old for YM. Because now in the area where I live, that’s the social norm, and it’s quite sad.

Pres. Monson actually said in the announcement that not everyone should go at 18. He never said it was a revelation, though – just had to point that out.

Really? Oh that’s interesting! Because that’s what everyone said to be and basically told me to go hell for disagreeing with revelation. lol

[willb1993]

DarkJedi wrote:

I second SD’s idea of seeing a counselor. It’s really not a bad thing. I also agree with your mom – university will probably be better than community college if only because some community colleges can be very much like high school. I dislike how some members of the church seem to try to make a mission a requirement – it’s not, and there are some lots of guys who just shouldn’t go for various reasons. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go, that’s up to you to decide, but go because you want to go and feel ready to go, not because it’s expected. You can always remind people Pres. Monson didn’t serve a mission and he seems to have turned out OK and has met with a little success in the church.

Actually what’s ironic about your statement is that I said something similar after President Monson Announced the lowering of ages for sister missionaries and guy missionaries. While I appreciated him receiving revelation and never said it was wrong, I told some people that it’s not a requirement to go at that age and that it’s more of an eligibility thing when it comes to being able to serve at 18 years old for YM. Because now in the area where I live, that’s the social norm, and it’s quite sad.

[willb1993]

Mike wrote:

willb1993, welcome.

I rarely tell anyone my religious affiliation. Not because I’m ashamed. In the midwest we are real minorities. There can be some strange ideas about what we believe & I prefer not address them.

When it comes to drinking alcohol, if the question comes up, I tell them I have an allergic reaction to it. (It’s not a lie.) I find a lot of people don’t drink. I hope to hear more from you.

Well thank you, Mike! That is very comforting advice. I found this forum, and it’s basically my last line of support; or it at least feels like it.

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