[wornoutsneakers]

scthomas34 wrote:

it has been very frustrating when those in the church haven’t been as motivated in the church as I thought I felt about the gospel. As a missionary, I was frustrated when members did not help us with referrals and generally in missionary work. As an Elder’s quorum president it was frustrating for me when in a branch of mostly high priest group age members, people did not want to fellowship new members, do home/visiting teachers or even befriend anyone at all outside of close family or friends- a general sense of retirement in the gospel. This was hard, because it did not leave hardly any one but and a few others who want to move the gospel forward.

I can say that it was hard for me to reactivate and do missionary work here, because I knew that so much would be demanded of these people once they joined the church often before they were ready in a unit that did not have much to offer as far as programs or unit support in the church which is so needed by new members. It almost seemed like I was sending people to failure. Even now, I want to get out there and be more involved in the front lines of helping those in need from broken situations, investigators, etc than it seems that most church members want to.

Thanks for responding. I wanted to respond to a few things you said. For one, i can agree with the observation that many in the church have the sentiment i have a testimony so i dont have to worry about anyone else. Many would use the excuse that they are married, have a family, etc. I was even told after i joined that i shouldnt expect to make friends right away because as one sister put it “it took me decades to build the relationships i have with some of these sisters”. That really floored me and depressed me. Your right in stating that new members need so much in support from those around them. Speaking as a convert myself, it is extremely demanding to join this church! Besides giving up lifelong habits such as drinking coffee and tea, being chaste, being assigned callings, and given innumerable expectations…its no wonder many new members start to pull away after joining the church. On a sidenote, when i started doing some member reactivation work last year on more than one occasion several members would come to me and say “who assigned you this job?”. I was surprised to hear so many members say they thought missionary work had to be assigned, and so many were surprised to hear that someone volunteered to do something about it!

[wornoutsneakers]

Good to know. I wondered why there were so many bad stories on MormonThink. A few of them actually made me laugh they seemed so impossibly bad. So now i know. If i hadnt mentioned it i would have never known!

[wornoutsneakers]

Daeruin wrote:

Last year I went in to tithing settlement for the first time in a decade. I told the bishop I hadn’t been paying any tithing for a long time. He told me that he doesn’t even look at the tithing statements. He gives them to people face down and just asks them if they’ve paid a full tithe. I was surprised and impressed. This is a man who trusts people to do what’s right and be honest, and he lets them be accountable to God. Having said that, I wouldn’t expect all local leadership to be like that.

Wow, that would be a new experience. I felt so bad when i had my recent tithing settlement. I had skipped a few weeks but made up for it later on in the year. My Bishop showed me the printout and wanted to know when i was going to make up those weeks that i missed. When i showed him some weeks later in the year where i paid it, he acted like he didnt believe me. I left with this tremendous feeling of guilt when i left his office. I dont plan on going to tithing settlement this year.

[wornoutsneakers]

In regards to whether you should give notice to the Bishop or the head of the organization…

Im probably not as versed in church politics as others here since i joined the church about 3 yrs ago, but i have a comment to make. The first calling i had since i joined was very difficult for me. For one reason i didnt get along with one of the other members that i had to work alongside (i had caught them gossiping about me). I also felt uncomfortable since i felt “new” to the Gospel and wanted to sit back a little and observe (not really a choice i found out). Figuring i should go straight to the top i went to the Bishop and shared my concerns. I was rebuffed immediately without thought and told the Bishopric was sure of their decision. I went back again a month or two later and said look…im really struggling…can you please release me? I was rebuffed again. I relented and after some time asked to to be released again. I was told that they had received revelation that i was to have that calling. I asked but what if i receive revelation that this isnt the right calling for me? Does your revelation trump mine? The answer was yes. I never got released until a friend, as part of a different Presidency, requested me to fill a position based on revelation they received (member for 30 years). I guess as a new convert i dont really have convincing personal revelation.

[wornoutsneakers]

Thanks for the smile ! 🙂

[wornoutsneakers]

Tim wrote:

The brethren receive a “living wage” and/or all of their expenses are covered. Most people call this a salary. Since they are full time this is probably justified. How much their “living wage” is isn’t disclosed, but lots of those who have worked for the church their whole lives have multiple homes and have domestic help.

Then i wonder why when i asked my friends…who have been lifelong members, served missions, and the husband was a Bishop…did they insist that they dont get an income? Is it just a lack of knowledge or a lack of acknowledgment?

[wornoutsneakers]

scthomas34 wrote:

Just some questions. Are you naturally more of a person that focuses and analyzes problems more than everything is always sunshine and roses? I only say this because I know I am more of a serous attitude type person, than a I am so grateful and everything is great type attitude person and it has been interesting learning to grow in our church that is very hard lined. Just trying to find out more about you.

To answer scthomas 34…

after anyalyzing your question quite hard and seriously…lol…

yes i do tend to focus on and analyze on problems and i have a tendency to be very serious. For example, i take my calling very serious and get my work done as early as possible. Im always looking for ways to cut costs in the annual budget and ways to include member missionary work. I found in the beginning that i had a hard time fitting in. I really struggled with being assigned a calling. I was so put out over that. I have since discovered that i truly had a hard time with authority. After blaming everyone from the sisters i worked alongside in my callings, to my irresponsible attitude, to my lack of knowledge about church matters…i realized the real issue was that i wasnt prepared to be so managed. I am also very hard on myself for not being up to standards. When i first posted my intro i noted that im single. Single in a family ward. It has been extremely hard to fit in. I even made an effort to reactivate several hundred inactive brothers and sisters because it bothered me so much. But now…with my new found knowledge (google is dangerous)…i feel foolish for insisting that being in church will make your life better somehow. My struggles recently have morphed into feeling inadequate for financial reasons and social reasons. Most married members dont associate with single women. It has also really bothered me recently that for those that have reliable transportation dont consider members at church that have trouble making the 3 hr trip to the temple. Just a few examples at what has been eating away at me recently.

[wornoutsneakers]

In response to On Own Now…

Thanks for the reminder. Your response triggered a memory i had from Section 119 where it states that we pay one tenth of our interest annually. Im struggling to come to terms with what i can do that is “acceptable” to church leaders and my conscious and God ultimately. I guess alot of my angst is more self driven than imposed (for now )

[wornoutsneakers]

Thanks for welcome. Despite my somewhat dismal sounding post i am pretty active in my ward. I have been for the past year a big part of the missionary effort here and still try to find ways to support the missionaries. I am also part of the Presidency of one of the “groups” and try to do my best. Being single is a concern for me (and for the most part i’ve decided to “let go and let God” so to speak) but tithing has become a huge issue for me financially. I am just trying to muddle my way thru this and hope to find some answers about how best to deal with it.

[Author]

Posts